The Crap We Missed: Valentine’s Day Edition

February 14th, 2013 // 498 Comments

Welcome to a very special Valentine’s Day Edition of The Crap We Missed that’s totally going to score you the beej that those gas station roses weren’t going to. Just Kidding! Relationships are awful prisons of doubt and remorse which no amount of candy or $8 cards with grade school poetry could ever fix. That said, this ridiculous holiday gives Fish and me a reason to finally use these ball gags to skip out early, so I’m all for it. I’m also all for a solid 4th day in a row of SI swimsuit models pimping their obsolete magazine, so enjoy Kate Upton, Katherine Webb, Nina Agdal, Natasha Barnhard, Hana Davis…trust me it keeps going.

Your daddies love you guys,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. David Beckham Knee To Groin Paris Saint-Germain Football Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    What exactly are they practicing?

  2. Wilmer Valderrama Joe Jonas Nick Jonas Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Love the Eddie Monster photobomb.

  3. Hayden Panettiere Henry Winkler Twitter
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Hayden was smitten with the old rebel. Boxers, jocks, bouncers… all of them men who traded on their brawn, but no one had ever literally jumped a shark to get at her ‘Pinky Tuscadero’ before.

  4. Genevieve Morton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If you don’t mind the grease this might be the girl for you.

  5. Pink Abs Crazy Hair
    josep
    Commented on this photo:

    The “There’s Something About Mary 15th Anniversary Tour” is off and running, I see.

  6. Vanessa Hudgens Handstand Booty Shorts Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Best treat or treat EVER! (I’m your trick, and your my treat).

  7. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Commented on this photo:

    i whip mah bane back n forf.
    i whip mah bane back n forf.
    back n forf.
    back n forf.
    i whip mah bane back n forf.

  8. Bar Refaeli Cleavage 63rd Sanremo Song Festival
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s one pretty linebacker.

  9. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage Purple Hair Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s actually really cute if you squint your eyes… and look at someone else

  10. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Fishballs
    Commented on this photo:

    IAMWILLOSHMITHSHRECKONING

  11. Heather McDonald Book Signing Humped By Joe Francis
    Commented on this photo:

    Girls Gone Raped

  12. Madonna Flabby Old Buttcheeks Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    not to self-
    develop next big online idea- instaeyebleach.
    me = rolling in $$$$$$$$$$$!!!

  13. Bar Refaeli Cleavage 63rd Sanremo Song Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, those are nice Yamahas.

  14. Hayden Panettiere Henry Winkler Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Happy Days ended 6 years before she was born. As far as she knows she’s just humoring some creepy old guy, letting him take a photo with a celebrity.

  15. David Beckham Knee To Groin Paris Saint-Germain Football Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    No way that’s Becks. There’s no hand on his balls.

  16. Wilmer Valderrama Joe Jonas Nick Jonas Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Perplexity
    Commented on this photo:

    Wednesday night is “The I’m Imagining You Naked Stare” Night at TGIFridays. But nobody can outdo Travis, who always sneaks into everyone’s photo.

  17. Bruce Campbell Middle Finger Oz The Great And Powerful Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Pay no attention to the douchebag in the blue blazer.

  18. Heather McDonald Book Signing Humped By Joe Francis
    Commented on this photo:

    Heather didn’t lose her virginity until she was 27. She has to make for lost time. She’ll take it anyway she can get it.

  19. DMX Mugshot
    Commented on this photo:

    Tyrone Bigguns lost his red cap.

  20. Michael Douglas Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit. This dude’s still alive?

  21. Ed Westwick Blue Steel Face Tommy Hilfiger West Coast Flagship Grand Opening Event
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo is an anaphrodisiac…couldn’t you have waited until tomorrow to post this mess?

  22. Katherine Jenkins Cleavage Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Generic bleach blond with fake boobs attends a generic hollywood party and is photographed in generic pose.

    Feel free to reuse that caption 30 or 40 times this week.

  23. Ed Westwick Blue Steel Face Tommy Hilfiger West Coast Flagship Grand Opening Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Graduate of the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

    With honors.

  24. Jerry Lewis
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet nutty professor, I swear to fuck all that I thought he was dead.

  25. Katherine Webb Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    Commented on this photo:

    This woman should find Brent Musberger and give that old dude the blowjob of a lifetime.

  26. David Beckham Knee To Groin Paris Saint-Germain Football Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    “….and THAT is how you block a knee with your nutsack”

  27. Kate Upton Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, look…she’s got a cute face, and a world class rack…but she needs to do some goddamn crunches.

  28. David Beckham Knee To Groin Paris Saint-Germain Football Practice
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    Team Zissou hat without the shoes? WTF?

  29. Hayden Panettiere Henry Winkler Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    2 very awesome people.

  30. Michael Douglas Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    For a guy who looked 9/10ths dead last year, he’s looking surprisingly vertical. Catherine Zeta-Jones must have the vagina that heals…come to think of it, I kind of have a bit of a cough.

  31. Jerry Lewis
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    and STILL more hair than jude law

  32. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage Purple Hair Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    So she’s skinny-ish this week? It’s hard to keep up.

  33. Ed Westwick Blue Steel Face Tommy Hilfiger West Coast Flagship Grand Opening Event
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Bearded Woman

  34. Katherine Webb Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Three Thumbs Up from Bigalkie!

  35. Ed Westwick Blue Steel Face Tommy Hilfiger West Coast Flagship Grand Opening Event
    Commented on this photo:

    whoa..so it turns out if you purse your lips and suck in your cheeks you look like a total douchebag. Dressing like a total douchebag really didn’t help much either.

  36. Vanessa Hudgens Handstand Booty Shorts Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I can work it with her in that position.

  37. Jodie Marsh Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    WET CLEANUP! Aisle six!

  38. Jude Law Tongue Out Side Effects Premiere Berlin International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Still looks like the Fonz has a better hairline.

  39. Ed Westwick Blue Steel Face Tommy Hilfiger West Coast Flagship Grand Opening Event
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a camel/moose/toe/knuckle I could’ve done without seeing.
    Then again, I was the dumbass who looked.

  40. Heather McDonald Book Signing Humped By Joe Francis
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a fish.

  41. Kate Upton Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    Fat Tits Bastard
    Commented on this photo:

    Git in mah bellay!

  42. Paris Hilton Tight See Through Dress Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I see she still has that weird body shape.

  43. Vanessa Hudgens Handstand Booty Shorts Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the Mork & Mindy socks?

  44. Bar Refaeli Cleavage 63rd Sanremo Song Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Playing the Drums: She’s winning.

  45. Genevieve Morton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    OrangeBarbie
    Commented on this photo:

    Which wax museum is this again?

  46. Pauly Shore Crouching Shirtless Small Bathing Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    at least he didn’t free the weasle.

  47. DMX Mugshot
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    wait mike tyson bit his ear, too?

  48. Nina Agdal Celavage SI Swimsuit Issue
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    her face looks like one of the lolipop kids bleh

  49. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage Purple Hair Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s alot better looking than she was 10 years ago

  50. Katherine Jenkins Cleavage Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s sexy.

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