The Crap We Missed: Valentine’s Day Edition

February 14th, 2013 // 498 Comments

Welcome to a very special Valentine’s Day Edition of The Crap We Missed that’s totally going to score you the beej that those gas station roses weren’t going to. Just Kidding! Relationships are awful prisons of doubt and remorse which no amount of candy or $8 cards with grade school poetry could ever fix. That said, this ridiculous holiday gives Fish and me a reason to finally use these ball gags to skip out early, so I’m all for it. I’m also all for a solid 4th day in a row of SI swimsuit models pimping their obsolete magazine, so enjoy Kate Upton, Katherine Webb, Nina Agdal, Natasha Barnhard, Hana Davis…trust me it keeps going.

Your daddies love you guys,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Pink Abs Crazy Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    If this were a porn film, what would we be looking at here? FMF? FFF? MMM?

  2. Vanessa Hudgens Handstand Booty Shorts Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    That reminds me…time for lunch!

  3. Jerry Lewis
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time he has a moment of clarity, this is the surprised look on his face when he realizes he’s alive.

  4. Jerry Lewis
    it's NEVER safe to go in the water
    Commented on this photo:

    SHART ATTACK!

  5. Rose McGowan Butt Tight Dress Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Emma Watson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    flap flap flap.

  6. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “When your father’s career is in ashes . . . then you have my permission to rap.”

  7. Kate Upton Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s always a bit sloppy in the gut, but damn it’s hard to argue with that rack.

  8. Paris Hilton Tight See Through Dress Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Emma Watson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll claim Rose McGowan’s but not this one.

  9. Heather McDonald Book Signing Humped By Joe Francis
    Schmidtler
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy made a bajillion dollars convincing stupid chicks to show off their tits and yell ‘Woo Hoo!’. We hate him why now?

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      If he would have filmed those sluts it in black white or in front of a white screen he would have been regarded as talented genius, like that Terry Richardson nozzle.

  10. Ed Westwick Blue Steel Face Tommy Hilfiger West Coast Flagship Grand Opening Event
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a cross between Jimmy Fallon and that sparkle vampire dude with the horseteeth cheating girlfriend… Robert something?

  11. Jude Law Tongue Out Side Effects Premiere Berlin International Film Festival
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Side effects include hair lose and wanting to bang the elderly.

  12. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage Purple Hair Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew the Joker had a nice rack?

  13. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage Purple Hair Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do you like my hair and dress?”

    “Whatever distracts from your face.”

  14. Paris Hilton Tight See Through Dress Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Pregnant & 40.

  15. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, is that dude in front for real, or have I taken waaay to much cold medication?

  16. Schmidtler
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s a really funny guy. I hope he banged the shit out of that cute midget chick.

  17. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage Purple Hair Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s had ZERO work done.

  18. Lydia Bright Red Nose Groping Mickey Doll Crotch Disney Store
    Commented on this photo:

    “And girls, when you touch and rub him in his no-no spot right here… he’ll give you jewelry just like the Disney Princesses have!”

  19. Bruce Campbell Middle Finger Oz The Great And Powerful Premiere
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty cocky for a guy known for a couple of B movies and playing a one dimensional booze-ridded sidekick.

  20. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dres Oz The Great And Powerful Premiere
    Gary Grant
    Commented on this photo:

    Its as if James Franco is walking out of her ass.

  21. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Mike701
    Commented on this photo:

    Bane I said capture the spawn of the Prince of Gotham. not the Prince of Bel Air!

  22. Jerry Lewis
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not trying to be mean, but I honestly thought he died years ago.

  23. Hayden Panettiere Henry Winkler Twitter
    Carolyn
    Commented on this photo:

    “Cover Winkler in bees. You can do it.”

  24. Emily Didonato Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    Commented on this photo:

    I see London, I see France, I see your nipples on second glance.

  25. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Fredical
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t do it. I can’t say, “That’s a lovely, lovely voice.”

  26. Ed Westwick Blue Steel Face Tommy Hilfiger West Coast Flagship Grand Opening Event
    Commented on this photo:

    I so want to smash a bottle over this guy’s head.

  27. Bruce Campbell Middle Finger Oz The Great And Powerful Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fuck you, James Franco! You think you’re cool and artsy, huh? Were YOU in an Old Spice commercial? Boom!”

  28. Bar Refaeli Cleavage 63rd Sanremo Song Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    You mean “Bar Refaeli” isn’t the name of a fancy pastry? Well, hell. Bring me a glass of cold milk and I’ll eat her anyway!

  29. Vanessa Hudgens Handstand Booty Shorts Twitter
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s very cute.
    Strength & flexibility are good things to have.

  30. Wilmer Valderrama Joe Jonas Nick Jonas Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one of the Jonas brothers just got dumped?

  31. Pink Abs Crazy Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    This makes me think Pink has a cock, but I’ve seen her taking a piss with her vulva visible – I’m so confused.

  32. Heather McDonald Book Signing Humped By Joe Francis
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Brows Gone Wild

  33. Madonna Flabby Old Buttcheeks Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Get me her number… I was wondering the other day where I could get good flash powder for my turn-of-the-century photographic appliance.

  34. Hanna Davis Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it wrong if you start wanking it to the Direct TV commercial? No? Ok, good.

  35. Hayden Panettiere Henry Winkler Twitter
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Jumping the shark bait

  36. Heather McDonald Book Signing Humped By Joe Francis
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to know he learned something from his jail time.

  37. Katherine Webb Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice POA.

    She’s going to dump that hick quarterback any fucking day now…mark my words.

  38. Paris Hilton Tight See Through Dress Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, crystal meth is a helluva drug.

  39. Vanessa Hudgens Handstand Booty Shorts Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, I guess that IS easier than making a good movie!

  40. Bar Refaeli Cleavage 63rd Sanremo Song Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    more makeup = better looking

  41. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Jada is obviously in league with the lizards.

  42. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a Dana White joke here, and I’m failing miserably.

  43. Madonna Flabby Old Buttcheeks Instagram
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    The prime reason why we have a covert domestic drone assassination program

  44. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Commented on this photo:

    And then Talia Ras Douche will betray Bane and stab him in the back.

  45. David Beckham Knee To Groin Paris Saint-Germain Football Practice
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    You put your left leg in, your left leg out….

  46. Rose McGowan Butt Tight Dress Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I would so eat that gravy.

  47. Bruce Campbell Middle Finger Oz The Great And Powerful Premiere
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep, and if I could just get these threads from the bottom of my jacket off my middle finger, I’d come right over there and punch your lights out.

  48. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage Purple Hair Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    OMFG. She never looks good. Even on her good days

  49. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage Purple Hair Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Take off the ugly purple wig. You look better blonde, not by much, but better.

  50. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    AMcF
    Commented on this photo:

    Hardened your nipples, didn’t it?

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