The Crap We Missed: Valentine’s Day Edition

February 14th, 2013 // 498 Comments

Welcome to a very special Valentine’s Day Edition of The Crap We Missed that’s totally going to score you the beej that those gas station roses weren’t going to. Just Kidding! Relationships are awful prisons of doubt and remorse which no amount of candy or $8 cards with grade school poetry could ever fix. That said, this ridiculous holiday gives Fish and me a reason to finally use these ball gags to skip out early, so I’m all for it. I’m also all for a solid 4th day in a row of SI swimsuit models pimping their obsolete magazine, so enjoy Kate Upton, Katherine Webb, Nina Agdal, Natasha Barnhard, Hana Davis…trust me it keeps going.

Your daddies love you guys,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jerry Lewis
    Commented on this photo:

    Closeup of the back seat of Anne Hathaway’s car.

  2. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Phil
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea Hannibal Lecter had gotten into the bodyguard business. He looks good.

  3. Heather McDonald Book Signing Humped By Joe Francis
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s waaaayyy out of his date range….

  4. Vanessa Hudgens Handstand Booty Shorts Twitter
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes!!

  5. Wilmer Valderrama Joe Jonas Nick Jonas Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when you bang everything in sight: You start playing for the other team…

  6. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Commented on this photo:

    “When I’ve made you look like the spoiled douche you are, then you have my permission to die…”

  7. David Beckham Knee To Groin Paris Saint-Germain Football Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s how you sprain a testicle…

  8. Wilmer Valderrama Joe Jonas Nick Jonas Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the Maximum Douche-pency of that room? I think they’re over the limit.

  9. Wilmer Valderrama Joe Jonas Nick Jonas Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    That guy in the back with that wry smile wants to take them all from behind, in the behind.
    Look at him, it’s true!

    • Cock Dr

      The guy in the back has already had those Jonas bros….twice. Then he got a little sore and handed them off to Wilmer.

  10. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Commented on this photo:

    Lesbian.

  11. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, I know they stink, but that’s not nice!

  12. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Bane wearing the latest in menswear from the Fashion League of Shadows.

  13. Pink Abs Crazy Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Miley Cyrus, stage 3 gender transformation…

  14. Madonna Flabby Old Buttcheeks Instagram
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    And Instagram just filed for bankruptcy.

  15. Paris Hilton Tight See Through Dress Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    How cute, she’s growing a gunt just like her BFF Kim…

  16. Madonna Flabby Old Buttcheeks Instagram
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    Please, someone take the camera away from grandma.

  17. Madonna Flabby Old Buttcheeks Instagram
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    Flapjacks in the rear, not a good look, still her best side tho.

  18. Katherine Jenkins Cleavage Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like a girl on the cross country team I used to fuck in college.

    When she slept, she’d oink like a pig and paw the air with her wrists together, in a digging motion. But man, the sex was great.

  19. David Beckham Knee To Groin Paris Saint-Germain Football Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    This Harlem shake bullshit has got to stop.

  20. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dres Oz The Great And Powerful Premiere
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    Happy V-D Day my greek goddess.
    see u soon, kisses

  21. Vanessa Hudgens Handstand Booty Shorts Twitter
    Matt Lauer
    Commented on this photo:

    I put a coin in, where does it dispense the gumball?

  22. Bruce Campbell Middle Finger Oz The Great And Powerful Premiere
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my fuck you stick!”

  23. Bar Refaeli Cleavage 63rd Sanremo Song Festival
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I like those tom toms.

  24. DMX Mugshot
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s black history month Fish.
    Jus sayin!

  25. Nina Agdal Celavage SI Swimsuit Issue
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    Skeletor’s daughter, but who’s the mom?

  26. Ed Westwick Blue Steel Face Tommy Hilfiger West Coast Flagship Grand Opening Event
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Kudos to Mr. Westwich for accomplishing the difficult task of making both members of ‘Jedward’ look masculine by comparison.

  27. Wilmer Valderrama Joe Jonas Nick Jonas Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Lady’s Night somewhere…..else.

  28. Jodie Marsh Bikini Twitter
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Help! I’ve fallen and I’ve got big breasts!”

  29. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess our punishment must be more severe.

  30. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage Purple Hair Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    joker….
    Joker….
    JOKER!

  31. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s what those shoes are made for…to be up in the air.

  32. Lydia Bright Red Nose Groping Mickey Doll Crotch Disney Store
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    Really???
    She put her hand down there, what an effin tease.

  33. Lydia Bright Red Nose Groping Mickey Doll Crotch Disney Store
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “M-I-C, K-E-Y, H-A-N-D-J-O-B”

  34. Pauly Shore Crouching Shirtless Small Bathing Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate you with all that I am.

  35. Julia Malick Side Boob Night Train To Lisbon Premiere Berlin International Film Festival
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    MMMM, banana tits!

  36. Anne Vyalitsyna Side Boob Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    Even more banana tits.
    Should have eaten an apple today.

  37. Pauly Shore Crouching Shirtless Small Bathing Suit
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s got the motivational soundtrack and everything… Pauly takes his Kegels seriously.

  38. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Commented on this photo:

    I suddenly have the taste for a nice Chianti.

  39. Paris Hilton Tight See Through Dress Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    No man is coming forward to claim this one.

  40. Madonna Flabby Old Buttcheeks Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Film from the first spycam, 1953.

  41. Pauly Shore Crouching Shirtless Small Bathing Suit
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    Why wasn’t this a nude beach?!?!

  42. Hayden Panettiere Henry Winkler Twitter
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The old coot looks good.

  43. Heather McDonald Book Signing Humped By Joe Francis
    Pinke
    Commented on this photo:

    He is such a douche.

  44. Heather McDonald Book Signing Humped By Joe Francis
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope she turned around and slapped him with an entrenching tool.

  45. Wilmer Valderrama Joe Jonas Nick Jonas Topshop Topman LA Opening Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish says he’s for gun control and then posts pictures like this?

  46. Hayden Panettiere Henry Winkler Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    This brain-trust really thinks he’s “The Fonz.”

  47. Vanessa Hudgens Handstand Booty Shorts Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Trying to make those body proportions look normal – it’s not working.

  48. Hayden Panettiere Henry Winkler Twitter
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- OH, GOD! MY HEART!”

  49. Willow Smith Jada Pinkett Smith Masked Security Guard
    Commented on this photo:

    I am Bel Aire’s reckonning!

  50. Hayden Panettiere Henry Winkler Twitter
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know The Fonz was only 4’2″.

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