Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which is bursting at the seams thanks to the long weekend, coupled with the bottomless reserve of celebs looking awful and/or amazing and my shameless disposition to exploit them on your behalf. That said, we’ve got Jeremy Renner just handing these to me on a platter now, ditto goes for Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe looking like he just sipped on a tasty Sarsaparilla, Gary Busey figuring out how to stop his kid’s constant shrieks of terror, Janice Dickinson trying to murder your eyes, Michael Fassbender stepping on it again, and finally, The Zac Efron Pussy Tour of Italy that literally stops only seconds before boarding the plane home.
Yes, kid, Prince Harry knows you want a Red Rider BB gun, now shut up so he can hear your sister,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
She gets one of these every time she finds a sailor drunk enough to fuck her.
Still only one so far…
Uh, you can just keep the seat.
“…and when I raise my right hand, your jeans will barely fit.”
It’s Cruella Deville peeps
chain reaction puke-athon in 3…2…1…
She clearly has a stronger constitution that Nick Nolte
(gahhh! I thought gonorrhea was a lie by the white man!)
She’s strong to the finish ’cause she eats her spinach, she’s Gaga the Sailor’s Man!
Awesome.
“See, I, fold my underwear like this – it’s a great spacesaver for travelling.”
On this season of Mad Men, we’re introducing a new character: Betty Draper’s older sister.
Tim Robbins is not doing well… Not at all…
I have a premonition that someone is going to get gangbanged tonight . . .
see, it fits in my mouth AND between my tits
Smile or I’ll fucking kill you
The haunted, psychotic look of someone who has walked in on Bruce and Kris Jenner in the shower.
That’s a walk of shame that will put ANYONE in rehab.
Nice fucking boots.
Yours too, Kardashian.
“We saw your pictures on Daddy’s computer next to a pile of used tissues.”
if by love you mean someone to make sure you’re dressed properly…
When I was a little boy, I used to have nightmares where I would be walking down a long hallway and there were doors on each side and I had to get to the end of the hallway, but I knew the bad man was in one of the doors. He would always slowly stick his head out of one of the doors as I walked past. That picture is the bad man.
That sounds like every episode of Scooby Doo.
someone, quick rip its face off. Mask or not, it’s only going to improve her looks.
In the latest Bourne movie, we go back in time to the 1920s to meet Jason Bourne’s great-grandfather, a fey dandy trying to break into show business.
Ha ha ha ha. That guy behind her thinks he can keep the Hep away by closing his eyes. Ha ha ha ha.
God Damn, Jocelyn Wildenstein is looking rough
That’s not Wayne Newton?
I think Marco Polo Airport must be somewhere in New Jersey.
This should be an anti helmet law propaganda poster…….. It’s working out so well for The Busey
You can’t see but there’s a W under her armpit
Nice.
Dildo.
A far cry from the woman my elders fapped to in the 90′s. Thankfully I was never much of a fan of hers. She was boring to me.
What the fuck? Hasn’t she been on that stupid show for like 3 years or something?
Why is the school janitor riding my kid’s bus?
The boots are just practice for when her cankles go full elephant in about 5 years.
Maam…you’re going to have to find another place to sleep. Move along.
Lorenzo Lamas must be so proud of his kids mother
It turns out black does indeed crack.
Chill Nicole !
No need to make a fool of yourself by acting all crazy… it’s tennis, you know, decorum and all that.
Eyeliner as thick as eyebrows. Get a mirror bitches.
willem: “hehe, tom cruise’s gonna get so mad when he sees that I took a dump on his motorcycle seat ”
-5 minutes later-
*SQUISH*
willem: “yeah, thats right bitch, Papa Dafoe had himself some chilli last night! yee-haw!”
@Gin&Tonic
…wow, you have quite the imagination
the real patrick bateman would never grow a beard. It would interfere with his skincare routine.
You should look at the picture again. This douche isn’t capable of growing a beard.
The real Patrick Bateman would fix his rabbit teeth, too. And then the orthodontist who joked with him about the rabbit teeth before fixing them would get a Montblanc Special Edition Herbert von Karajan fountain pen in the ear.
DERP!
(hysterically laughing)
“…so then!…SO THEN, she goes “Stop it, you’re killing me!” and my penis popped out of her mouth with about a foot of her intestines on it!”
Those rappers and their Brooks Brothers suits…
You sure thats her?
Every day, most of the people in “The Crap We Missed” pics are freaks. They’re not attractive or glamorous (unless your standards of beauty and glamour are seriously effed up); they are like circus freaks. Freakish breasts that don’t move like real breasts, freakish frozen lips on frozen faces… This shit makes the decadence of some ancient Romans look healthy.
Damn you, beat me to it.
He looks like he’s starring in the middle school production of “American Psycho”.
Looks like he just tied someone to the train tracks.
Obama?
Disturbed
Okay, who the Fu^k gave the order to, “Unleash the Kraken!”?
i used to want to bang his wife when she was on news radio.
this dude looks like a bad guy from dick tracy now.
“This tattoo signifies how quickly my career will sink.”
Bravo sir, bravo.