Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which is bursting at the seams thanks to the long weekend, coupled with the bottomless reserve of celebs looking awful and/or amazing and my shameless disposition to exploit them on your behalf. That said, we’ve got Jeremy Renner just handing these to me on a platter now, ditto goes for Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe looking like he just sipped on a tasty Sarsaparilla, Gary Busey figuring out how to stop his kid’s constant shrieks of terror, Janice Dickinson trying to murder your eyes, Michael Fassbender stepping on it again, and finally, The Zac Efron Pussy Tour of Italy that literally stops only seconds before boarding the plane home.
Yes, kid, Prince Harry knows you want a Red Rider BB gun, now shut up so he can hear your sister,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Where’s that shark from “Jaws” when you need him?
People typically take in the US Open to.. ummm.. enjoy themselves?
I don’t care what you’re dad told you, young lady, you can’t fly!
Mason, if she starts fitting you for a bikini, run.
disgusting….put on some friggin sweat pants, no one wants to see that ebony cottage cheese
Old Man Winter is on his way, folks.
Is that his wife or hostage?
know what’s missing from this picture? weed and a beer and a black eye
Still amazing looking… The lack of a bra and the ice cream are just icing on the cake…
Magpie alert.. Nice white socks with dress shoes
“Stupid child! Hold that box label-side-out or we don’t get paid!”
Daddy doesn’t get dressed anymore. Mommy told me not to talk about it.
Face pubes for $800, Alex.
one upon a time ago, she was one of the most beautiful woman on the planet
I was thinking the exact same thing…Father Time has not been kind to lovely Vanessa,
#quack
Cool, a “douche-duo”. You save more that way, I hear.
You’ll have plenty of time to regret your DUI when you’re in a van, DOWN BY THE RIVER !
Ah, that was the sunshine I thought I saw over Queens.
haha remember when she claimed to be a size 6?
As if the ocean didn’t smell enough like raw fish…
Look Mommy.. I wore my special cape so I could fly to Xenu
FUGLY and classless.
Harsh. She’s just a Russian actress. To her showing nipples is the same as an exposed midriff. Has Milla Jovovich taught you nothing?
“I would NOT get into that car until it airs out.”
They’re remaking Dodgeball already?
Suri is the Manchurian Candidate of the Scientology machine. When they activate her, she will kill.
When you take into account who we’re talking about here, this is pretty normal.
(in gravelly voice)
“Jesus…not that hard!”
Nice peepers. Her eyes are okay, too.
when did this guy discover he is the lovechild os corey feldman and charlie sheen?
cowwwww
“I suppose a lick is out of the question?”
“…and right here, this is where a breast would be if I were actually female.”
BTW.. spoiler alert.. That movie SUCKS
Birthday party or porn shoot? Just sayin…
Both.
If she thinks she’s gonna ride the coat tails of Lindsay Lohan’s “comeback,” she’s gonna be there a while…
He’s never looked better.
That vest looks great . . . on female strippers.
Pretty sure she’s no longer a size 4. I wonder if that’s cause she’s made to eat all of the girlfriends that failed Tom Cruise’s auditions.
“HEHE, you think you’re slyly taking my picture without my knowledge! Well i am slyly masturbating without your’s. Win Dafoe!!”
Got his johnson caught in his shoe laces, I guess.
“No drugs here.. No sirree. Now, if that yellow elephant looks at me ONE more time, I will lose it.”
Urkel
Fonzi?
Is she blaming Debbie Reynolds for this, too?
“A single move, McClain and your great granddaughter shall die!”
I’ll file this one under ” who gives a shit “.
shocking! Bai Ling’s gone blonde!
Not so shocking, Bai Ling’s dressed like a washed up porn star and is attending an event at a stripclub. if someone were to switch Jenna and Bai’s souls (after having to buy them back from the casting couch first) with each others bodies I think think the transition would be quite an easy one for them
Fish, I thought you had at least some small shard of compassion…. This proves otherwise….
At least he didn’t poop in a bumper car . . .
Riley?
Must be Irish.
What, you’ve never heard of the Black Irish?