Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where the International John Travolta Is Secretly Gay And It’s Goddamn Awkward For Everyone Tour continues right along, Chris Brown worries that he might not have time to get a pot leaf tattooed on his face before the next one of these, Cassandra Peterson or Elivra or whoever the hell she is is 61, while Courtney Love (48, btw) forgot that you should never take 48 OxyContins, boot 12 bags of black tar, and eat ten grams of shrooms on an empty stomach, yep, Jennifer Nicole Lee can still get her ass into frame from this angle, and Janice Dickinson is apparently just like one of those toads that makes you trip balls if you lick it.
Then die of syphilis. Licking Janice Dickinson’s face will make you die of syphilis,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Just saw the confection counter, and is trying to think of a way to slip a few of those over-sized candy bars and M&Ms into her purse…
For a more upscale name she should have picked Nordstrom…
David will submit to any indignity for cash and/or a couple cold ones.
Or a hamburger.
Preferably eaten off the floor.
And then, your honor, he was all like “No, no–don’t force me to defend myself, Rihanna!”
You mean John Travolta’s ghost, right?
No no no, JD has finally figured out the expression that holds everything together. The second she closes her mouth, skin is flipping and flopping everywhere. Major yuck.
Hmmm, can I get away with blaming that turd on the dog?
Showgirls 2 casting call?
“No Your Honor, I am not his attorney. I am his magician. As you can see, I have nothing hidden in my hands, yet I will attempt to pull from my ass something to convince you that he is a good man, who should be released from any further legal proceedings.”
Those girls in the background are surprised to find that there are billionaires and celebrities in the world who even they wouldn’t stoop to banging.
boohooty
Your Honour, my client just gently smashed her head off the dashboard like this.
“What do you mean bitchy look you pissant ….
It must be lunchtime cause Hasselhoff is down for some burgers.
I’d rather lick Lindsay Lohan’s used cigarette after wiping in on the floor of a NYC subway.
I’d still hit it hard.
seven years older than madonna and 7,000,000 times hotter
I don’t think Spck is supposed to smile.
*Spock (WTF with my keyboard, it started right after I just finished that bottle of Jack a couple of minutes ago.)
Is it not something to do with the gallon of jizz that you just unloaded on it after using one hand to block out Travolta on this picture?
I’m pretty sure she’s about to get the shit scared out of her.
Alice Cooper’s had a makeover I see
I think I just pitched perfect.
Kryten!?
I feel cool because I know who YOU are talking about…
I’m so old I remember a time when she wasn’t a butch lesbian.
OK, you’ve perfected the Vapid Stare. Time to work on a new expression.
your move bertney
How much do you want to bet that their ‘water bottles’ are filled with Captain Morgan?
Sorry, I’m not pitching anything for this arrogant bitch.
The curve on the backside looks impressive from this angle.
Two weeks.
Total Recall?
Dead Pool
She just got a glimpse of the dog’s lipstick and it reminded her of the Hamm
I’d like to take a knapp.
I would not. But the tits are nice.
Erica: Uh oh, Peter! You got a little spit ups on your bibbies! Aaaaaaw! Who’s the cutest little husband in da world? You are! That’s right, you are!
Peter: Sweetheart, forgodsake, I’m not the one in the stroller!
Oh, I get it! It’s funny because he’s SHORT! Like a baby! And that’s why his wife mistook him for an infant in your “joke”! Ahahahaha! [wipes away a tear].
God. That slayed me.
You should tell him he’s short and that it’s funny, ThisWillHurt. I bet no-one’s EVER pointed that out to him before.
If there was a thought bubble on top of Chris, it would say “meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow”
Is she like one of those toads that perspire psychedelic fluids? It would explain a lot…
Kelcie, call me!
Why do so many beautiful celebs insist on doing shit like this to their hair? I know that their boyfriends suck up and tell them they look great in anything, but surely they have at least *one* friend to tell them they’re making a huge mistake, right?
She really does think that suits her. Why would she keep on doing it, if she didn’t.
It’s a shame, because she looked adorable as the “girly girl” (longer hair, makeup, skirts & dresses) Margie in Big Love.
I’d like to make her puppy feel all better.
Safety last. Safety is definitely last.
Like who don’t smoke pot!!!!
There’s more important things in the world to worry about people!!!
Don’t care. If it fux up his life, yay! Get him on tax evasion if you have to.
There she is again with that “One night, when you don’t immediately return my text, I’m going to kill your dog” look.
Have you been on the wrong end of crazy?
All too often.
Shock + botox = this expression
Not too bad for an AARP member.
She has a fivehead, otherwise not bad.
Driving Miss Daisy To An STD Treatment Center
“I claim this washed-up loser in the name of the Crown!”
“Enjoy it while it lasts, Kid. Soon as you turn 1, that thing is MINE!”
“I guess that’s only fair, Dad, since as of my birth you have relinquished all claims to her womb!”
She really shouldn’t be making faces like that with the structural damage she’s got. I’m pretty sure that puppy’s been red-tagged.
Is that Fap fat, or does she just really, REALLY need to shave down there?
I’m going with shave. Because if not, she has Buckwheat’s head down there.
It’s fat AND hairy, like Kim K.
http://cuchini.com/
Don’t MAKE me run comically after you, bitch!