Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which definitely skews heavier on the freak show portion than this thing usually does. Starting off is Bono not realizing there’s no hot dog vender at this kind of event (Because remember when he was shirtless and fat in that pic a few weeks ago? I’ll never forget. Ever.), followed by Meredith Vieira looking like she’s also been living in Amanda Bynes‘ car, and finally, Jake Gyllenhaal, who doesn’t always drink Dos Equis, but when he does, it’s through a penis-shaped straw.
Sorry again about the lack of random hotness today, but I left you an Easter egg, which if you feel makes absolutely no sense in the way of reconciling the absence of titties, welcome to your first day reading The Superficial,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Samantha Ronson is looking more awake than usual.
Hey, Jake… why the long face?
I’m going to jump on the bandwagon.
I can see my reflection in her ass…and I’m doing bad, bad things.
Blonde girl thought bubble: OMG, Magic Johnson was just checking us out! Ew!
FINALLY, someone punched this douchenozzle in the face.
god damn gingers acting like they belong around decent folk.
I don’t know… This could easily pass for a self-inflicted bruise.
I don’t care WHO punched him in his pasty, freckled, soulless face…it just needs to be done.
Calm down. Calm. Down.
right behind her: flotsam and jetsam
Holy shit she does look just like Ursula
Chick: “Would you like to go out on a date with me, Mr. Mangianello?”
Joe: “Huh? Sorry, I don’t speak ‘fat’”
“It’s all right! It’s all right! Alright! She moves in mysterious ways!”
Chaz and KDC do their best Evita balcony scene.
“Go ahead…ask me which way to madame tussauds one more time”
mmmm…. heart shaped labia. does that mean she loves me??
Can I stand up now, Mr. Cruise? My knees are starting to hurt.
More like a well-fed clam, amirite?
“I’m down here Beardy”
I thought black was supposed to be slimming…
You should see her in horizontal stripes.
“Did you just call me Joe Mangina fatty?”
When I make this face, don’t I look just like Kirstie Alley in a wind tunnel?
Wait, the the glass disappeared!
“Stay douche-y, my friends”
Wow, she’s already lost all that pregnancy weight!
Or maybe she hasn’t?
I can’t fucking tell…
I guess ‘dance practice’ these days consists of trying to break out of her orbit.
So when’s the Hamm vs. Fassbender Wang-off?
Deadmau5 and smells like DeadFi5h
‘Shiny, wet, shapely’…three adjectives that go well together.
You forgot “tits.” Oh wait, you said adjectives…how about “titted?”
Oprah on the set of The Butler ?? Looks more like Oprah on the set of the Arnold Schwarzenegger biopic called The Maid.
Someone should have extended the message of that shirt to “breed no evil”
“Douchebag1″ was taken?
She needs to work on that De Niro impersonation
You just know he stepped on a rake
haha too true!
I thought this was going to be Sideshow Bob. Y’know, because of the ginger thing. And the rakes.
“It’s been a long time Christina Hendricks…there can be only ONE”
That’s the dumbest football helmet ever.
Something has got to give! If those boobs get squeezed any harder, I expect to see areolas and nipples start popping out from anatomically INCORRECT places.
Those must be the special seats, where the cherub gives you a hand job.
So, three Jew walk into a bar & John Hamm’s penis is all like…
Sweet Rumer WIllis impression.
One minute, I have only one goddam minute before this hairpaint starts running down my face. gotta go.
Some time between midnight and four am last night local business ‘Cut and Curls’ was broken in to and the entire stock was taken. Police need to identify this man.
Well, someone has to do it…
DAT ASS
Cool hwip.
Derp troika
Man-face
To each his own, I guess.
“Like that, Mr. Manganiello?”
“I’m not saying I like it, but I”m not telling you to stop either.”
d’Artagnan has FINALLY upgraded his wardrobe.
Oh look, it’s a little heart.
“Three Invisible Dicks” Part 2
“Looks like we’re one man short of a Jewish barbershop quartet, boys!”
This is all you need for an effective massage. Just this. Why is this so hard to understand??
Look! A Steelers fan!
So I’m not the only one thinking about that dark matter annihilation signature from the galactic centre
Trifectard part duex