Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which definitely skews heavier on the freak show portion than this thing usually does. Starting off is Bono not realizing there’s no hot dog vender at this kind of event (Because remember when he was shirtless and fat in that pic a few weeks ago? I’ll never forget. Ever.), followed by Meredith Vieira looking like she’s also been living in Amanda Bynes‘ car, and finally, Jake Gyllenhaal, who doesn’t always drink Dos Equis, but when he does, it’s through a penis-shaped straw.
Sorry again about the lack of random hotness today, but I left you an Easter egg, which if you feel makes absolutely no sense in the way of reconciling the absence of titties, welcome to your first day reading The Superficial,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Ah-Doyee.
Oh shit, he’s about to do the Vulcan mind-meld!
“and the number of the day is ONE!”
Hey, she sure looks better than Jessica Simpson !!
I saw Jessica Simpson on a Weight Watchers commercial today and instantly fell in love with her. She’s still both gorgeous and cute and sounds like she’s more fun than men ought to be allowed to have.
The fact that Snooki was able to look like this after giving birth, and then comparing her to watch Jessica looks like, means that Snooki might actually be more intelligent than Jessica. Or at the very least, Snooki knew she wasn’t going to birth a 70lb fetus.
How in the fuck can you equate someone’s weight with their intelligence? Are you really that thin (and stupid)? Jessica Simpson is fucking wealthy as hell and could buy and sell Snooki a thousand times over. Just because she’s overweight doesn’t mean she lacks intelligence. Some of the most intelligent people I know — and have known over the years — were and are overweight.
Her tits are flying it at half mast for Kate’s
I never noticed how much this guy looks like Ed Powers.
Looks like she’s walking with her teenage son.
She’s having to mail refunds to everyone who saw Resident Evil: Afterlife.
After the last pic, I bet you looked at his junk first!
Those tattoos ruined a perfectly serviceable woman.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA” – The ankle strap
Apparently the original Brawny Man secretly sired a child in 1980.
If I were hung like John Hamm, pants like these here are all I’d wear.
no idea what a Deadmau5 is.
He’s like John Tesh, but different.
She got her sexy figure back pretty quickly. Fuck Jessica Simpson.
If by “sexy figure” you mean “Weeble shape,” I agree.
it WAS a pretty low bar. Post pregnancy snapping back into shape is pretty easy when your shape is “troll”
Didn’t know she ever had a sexy figure.
She hasn’t.
“Look Who’s Eating”
That’s a face that says, “I have a larger penis than you.”
I don’t often care for flash mobs, but when hott chicks participate in them, i find myself wishing there was more actual flashing involved.
I would like to challenge Jake Gyllenhaal, Shia Labeouf, and Jared Leto to a beard duel! Winner to receive the legendary Fedora of Supreme Douchiness! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
That’s right baby. Stay sexy. Your face may be jacked up, but that doesn’t mean you have to let your body go to shit too.
Hold on, she might walk in to the door and end up with a new set of tits
“LL Cool J and Chris O’Donnell”
Is this story a repost from the 90′s?
And in an effort to stay relevant….
She’s fucking sexy.
i just got back from vacation in Wellfleet. disturbing to see this shirt on her.
Most cock-ring to butt-plug chains are worn INSIDE the trousers but outside is okay I guess.
Fish got the final 5 right.
Sometimes you just gotta know when to cash in your chips.
Who the fuck are you, Kenny Rogers?
At least her handler had the decency to let her out of the car before going in to the casino. She’s just grateful he rolled down the window too.
That wig was made from her own pubic hair
Joe: “Yeah, I *do* hear it. But I thought it was saying, ‘Do NOT,’ not ‘donut’.”
Still as dull as ever.
Yep, I don’t get it. Never will get it.
His fictional character in “The Fisher King” was actually less crazy than Robin Williams in real life today.
Loved that movie.
Deadmau5 noooo. Will i still listen to your music, yes. But deadmau5, noooooooo!
They can really make a footpath look clean
prospective husbnds for Adrianne Curry?
doesn’t this bitch make some bank? why is she alway shopping at Mandee? I thought that place was for 15 year olds.
I know, right? I mean all this time, we all thought Snooki was smart and made good decisions!
She has the mental maturity of an 11-year old, so she actually is feeling very mature and grown-up shopping there.
She’s pretty tiny, so maybe she has a hard time finding clothing in adult clothing stores. Just sayin…
she may be short, but she is by no means tiny.
Right…so go into JC Penney and find a woman’s dress — in ANY size — for a woman who is 4’9″. Regardless of her girth, that is tiny!
I hope the CDC is aware that they’re just walking around a populated area.
Well it’s not like that baby is going to buy booze for himself.
That’s what he gets for fucking with Ralphie!
Please be respectful and don’t make any jokes about her digestive tract. It’s like a Hot-Wing Holocaust in there.
“We represent the lollipop guild…”
I hear a lot of his people are quitting and getting jobs with the Easter Bunny
She is usually in way less. Did she actually have an audience with the queen?
Well, her face can’t move, but at least her legs can.
“One – AH! AH! – one masseuse isn’t lying.”
He kinda looks like Tobey Maquire. If Tobey Maguire went through puberty.
Dromedary Digit.
Glad they finally came out with a Deadmau5. Is this the one with 4G?
I find his new look… highly illogical.
I can see myself in those pants.