The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 9.13.11

September 13th, 2011 // 618 Comments

“Someone said that fatass Ali Lohan is out here. Point me at her.”

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Nancy Grace‘s best Casey Anthony-induced aneurysm face, promo shots Wonderful Pistachios inexplicably sent me from its latest commercial featuring Khloe & Lamar and The Winklevoss Twins because apparently these are the people – I almost said “celebrities.” – you want to endorse your nuts, I’m back to thinking Leo’s an idiot again and a full Final Five full of the full-figured Kelly Brook.

Is someone gonna help Selma Blair, or are we just leaving her dead body next to those chairs?

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Pamela Anderson Cleavage
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    All this time, I never knew she had a head.

  2. Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is it he’s wearing the tall hat, but she’s the one who looks like she’s sporting a chin strap?

  3. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    GuyLeDouche
    Commented on this photo:

    The Ethiopian Ambassador’s wife needs to get out in the sun more often.

  4. Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Pistachios
    Commented on this photo:

    Typical gay black guy, always going for fat white dudes.

  5. Kevin Connolly Shirt Stains
    Commented on this photo:

    Falling asleep in Perez Hilton’s house is never a good idea.

  6. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Green Wig Pretzel Necklace Fashion Week
    Larry
    Commented on this photo:

    Her makeup artist should be fired… look at the bridge of her nose all the way down, you can see a distinct line of highlighter and it makes her look like more of a freak/plastic doll

  7. Kelly Brook Minidress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Ribs and milk, ribs and milk….that’s all I can think of now…

  8. Winklevoss Twins Pistachios
    Commented on this photo:

    Could ANY of us do a commercial for nuts with a straight face? I think I’d piss myself trying.

  9. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    AnnaDraconida
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks even worse than in the last batch of pictures I’ve seen of her.

  10. Nancy Grace Dancing With The Stars
    GuyLeDouche
    Commented on this photo:

    Which star had she dancing with, Betelgeuse?

  11. Hugh Jackman Bike Ride
    chainsawbuzzkill
    Commented on this photo:

    Told you it was a lingerer. I ate eggs. That was probably it.

  12. Serena Williams Purple Hair Streaks
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    shes ugly.. on the outside

  13. Serena Williams Purple Hair Streaks
    Commented on this photo:

    that dress is one big sack of ass.

  14. Kelly Brook Minidress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Cool, it’s one of those pull strings that makes her talk.

  15. Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Pistachios
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m drawing a blank on some kind of witty analogy between opening pistachio nuts with your thumbs and her vagina.

  16. rican

    HI-OOOOOOO SILVER!!!

  17. Owen Wilson US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    The classic cover the boner with a fanny pack move. Not as classic as the tuck it under the waistband before going up to the chalkboard to do a math problem move, but classic nonetheless.

    • TomFrank

      Pretty sure that’s a baseball cap.

      Tuck it under the waistband! THAT’S what I should have done! Stupid math class.

      • Damn, that is a baseball cap, now that you point it out. Damn Rorschachs. Well, same thing as I said only with baseball cap instead of fanny pack.

  18. Lacey Schwimmer See Through Shirt Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    William Shatner is finding her ass hilarious.

  19. Bar Refaeli Tank Top US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    Huh. Spray on pants. Who knew?

  20. Nancy Grace Dancing With The Stars
    AnnaDraconida
    Commented on this photo:

    Chaz Bono & this? Dancing With The Manatees is more like it

  21. Danny Glover Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    HHEEEEYYY! i got it. i got soul.. and im superbad

  22. Kelly Brook Minidress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor girl shouldn’t have missed that scoliosis test in school

  23. Selma Blair Portrait Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Forehead magnets!

  24. Viggo Mortenson
    Commented on this photo:

    Viggo is making Dancing Bear videos now?

    (If you get this joke, you should be ashamed of yourself)

  25. Paz De La Huerta See Through Dress
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    I smell b.o.

  26. Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    A double breasted coat is redundant on this broad

  27. Jason Patrick Shirtless
    Commented on this photo:

    When are they going to make Speed 3?

  28. Owen Wilson US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    extra long sleeves hide the scars.

    still too soon?

  29. Kelly Brook Minidress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Skarsgard just walked by and shrugged his shoulders…

  30. Danny Glover Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he just tried to say “Afro-Caribbean” with a straight face.

    • Venom

      Why? If you are black and you are not born in America or live in America, or ever visited America, it is kind of impossible to be African American.

      • It’s the “afro” part…not the “caribbean” part.

        Afro-american as a moniker for black Americans hasn’t been in vogue for over 40 years, and was in its time only popular for about half a decade.

  31. Beyonce Minidress Pregnant Fashion Week
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    baby got big fast

  32. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Marty
    Commented on this photo:

    She cannot believe that her husband finds that body hot and “uncheatable.” She is so nasty.

    • LJ

      It probably has more to do with the $38 million she’s worth. If she starves herself to death, he’s hit the lotto.

  33. Kevin Connolly Shirt Stains
    Commented on this photo:

    Quickly, swarthy little man with backpack and camera, before the other paparazzi get all the good pictures!

  34. Winklevoss Twins Pistachios
    Commented on this photo:

    never have two men wanted so badly to blow themselves.

  35. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Mike701
    Commented on this photo:

    BRAAIIINNNZZZ!!!

  36. Hugh Jackman Bike Ride
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure Wolverine would have rather just walked.

  37. Mickey Rourke
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    tiny dinosaur in breast pocket?

  38. Serena Williams Purple Hair Streaks
    Commented on this photo:

    did she draw her inspiration for that dress from a condom?

  39. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Green Wig Pretzel Necklace Fashion Week
    NEXUS INVICTO
    Commented on this photo:

    So your tellllllling me….the rave was moved to next weekend.

  40. Kelly Brook Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, but she is hands down ten times hotter than Christina Hendricks.

  41. Paz De La Huerta See Through Dress
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    She must have eaten the string of onions

  42. Kelly Brook Minidress
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    making Hendricks irrelevant

  43. Beyonce Minidress Pregnant Fashion Week
    JabbaWho?
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she gonna have a blonde haired baby?

  44. Selma Blair Portrait Venice International Film Festival
    Marcy
    Commented on this photo:

    Bad make up job. Yowzers

  45. Danny Glover Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing the rest of the Blacks in this country who are not of African descent probably have had enough of being called African Americans.

  46. Serena Williams Purple Hair Streaks
    Commented on this photo:

    Bald guy: Bitch just made my camera lens crack.

  47. Hugh Jackman Bike Ride
    Commented on this photo:

    Adamantium Bike Post

  48. Winklevoss Twins Pistachios
    GuyLeDouche
    Commented on this photo:

    So you have the tie for the Gay Irish Society? So do I!

  49. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Green Wig Pretzel Necklace Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    She must go apeshit in the Dollar Store

  50. Nancy Grace Dancing With The Stars
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Grace after meals

Leave A Comment