The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 9.13.11

September 13th, 2011 // 618 Comments

“Someone said that fatass Ali Lohan is out here. Point me at her.”

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Nancy Grace‘s best Casey Anthony-induced aneurysm face, promo shots Wonderful Pistachios inexplicably sent me from its latest commercial featuring Khloe & Lamar and The Winklevoss Twins because apparently these are the people – I almost said “celebrities.” – you want to endorse your nuts, I’m back to thinking Leo’s an idiot again and a full Final Five full of the full-figured Kelly Brook.

Is someone gonna help Selma Blair, or are we just leaving her dead body next to those chairs?

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s more calories in that bottle of water than in her whole emaciated corpse. True story, I read it on the internet.

  2. Danny Glover Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “The Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards in Paris?” Really? My local Walmart’s employee of the week award has more prestige… and press coverage.

  3. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    jason
    Commented on this photo:

    After looking at this I immediately had to go and wash my eyes out with the pictures of Kelly Brook.

  4. Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Pistachios
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice head tat. She’d better be careful or Jesse James is going to steal her man.

  5. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Green Wig Pretzel Necklace Fashion Week
    desabrey
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she always look like a discounted Bratz doll?

  6. Nancy Grace Dancing With The Stars
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh oh…looks like someone made her angry…you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.

    Although come to think of it, she’s pretty much angry all the time. Probably cuz she’s fat.

  7. anonymoose

    It isn’t Halloween yet. Please don’t scare us like this.

  8. Viggo Mortenson
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Unable to capture New York with the slime, Viggo the Carpathian now targets Toronto with Canadien banners…this dude is really evil!

  9. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    NEXUS INVICTO
    Commented on this photo:

    so the meth epidemic has finally moved from middle america to middle earth. poor legolas =(

  10. Christina Hendricks
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is going on here? He’s supposed to be a teddy bear in a Beefeater outfit and she’s supposed to have her tits out.

  11. Danny Glover Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    WHAAAAZZZZZZZZUP!

  12. Mickey Rourke
    desabrey
    Commented on this photo:

    Gollum wears paisley?

  13. Jason Patrick Shirtless
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “Atomic. Wedgie.”

  14. Jason Patrick Shirtless
    eatme
    Commented on this photo:

    …i watched “after dark my sweet” this week after not having seen it for years. my man rules in that movie.

  15. Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Pistachios
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hi I’m Lamar Odom, my wife Khloe Kardashian only puts two kinds of nuts in her mouth…”

  16. Hugh Jackman Bike Ride
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s what happened to Jennifer Aniston’s mobile dildo…

  17. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Green Wig Pretzel Necklace Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    The Black Katie Perry… but without the talent or heroin addict husband.

  18. Serena Williams Purple Hair Streaks
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember when we used to make popcorn in dresses like that. The little aluminum pan went straight on the burner!

  19. Kelly Brook Minidress
    desabrey
    Commented on this photo:

    I think my pants are shrinking!

  20. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    Old her way better than new her…
    http://i42.tinypic.com/2957gqo.jpg

  21. Bar Refaeli Tank Top US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    Something’s happening to my special purpose!

  22. Lacey Schwimmer See Through Shirt Bra
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently she didn’t know that shirt was transparent. Lose the bra!

  23. Kelly Brook Minidress
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    Long live the Queen!!!

  24. Selma Blair Portrait Venice International Film Festival
    NEXUS INVICTO
    Commented on this photo:

    and the hard part about planking is what?

  25. Paz De La Huerta See Through Dress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Those connect the dots give her something to do while she wait for her bus.

  26. Selma Blair Portrait Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Those Real Dolls have a long way to go before they look remotely lifelike.

  27. Viggo Mortenson
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    She told him the banner said “Show Us Your Tits!” She doesn’t know why people in Toronto are booing.

  28. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess she finally caved and ate that sleeve she’s been staring at all day…

  29. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Green Wig Pretzel Necklace Fashion Week
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    ESPN did What if Michael Vick were white…this is their version of What if Peggy Bundy were black

  30. Danny Glover Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ha ha ha ha. You actually made an award for this shit?”

  31. Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like the bump scene from the worst porno ever.

  32. Nancy Grace Dancing With The Stars
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    God how much can that poor dance floor take…

  33. Mickey Rourke
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus…. there’s really not much to say here. Steriod abuse and paisley just don’t mix.

  34. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Green Wig Pretzel Necklace Fashion Week
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Does no one make just a plain pretzel any more?

  35. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Green Wig Pretzel Necklace Fashion Week
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere there is a naked, scared My Little Pony.

  36. Bar Refaeli Tank Top US Open
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    She just got a standing ovation of 1.

  37. Al Bundy

    Skeletor on his way to battle He-Man.

  38. Beyonce Minidress Pregnant Fashion Week
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    She’ll be fine once she pees.

  39. Owen Wilson US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m fluent in reading “black dude eyes”, and he has nothing good to say about Owen Wilson.

  40. Kelly Brook Minidress
    Fletch
    Commented on this photo:

    Nom nom nom nom

  41. Nancy Grace Dancing With The Stars
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve watched her show enough to know that when her nostrils flare up like that, her labia is beat red with anger.

  42. Selma Blair Portrait Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    And, back to waiting tables.

  43. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    Who needs hips when your chest looks like a Klingon forehead?

  44. Pamela Anderson Cleavage
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice. Looks like she got a facelift on her chest. Good thinking.

  45. Mickey Rourke
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Christopher Walken, I weep for you…oh, Mickey Rourke? Phew, I was worried there.

  46. Kelly Brook Minidress
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d do her.

  47. Lacey Schwimmer See Through Shirt Bra
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    People don’t actually find her attractive…. do they?

  48. Bar Refaeli Tank Top US Open
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    If two stunning women walk past an older homosexual man and a blind woman begging for alms, does anybody notice?
    This has been your Zen moment for the day.

  49. Kelly Brook Minidress
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup. There too.

  50. Jason Patrick Shirtless
    Commented on this photo:

    That fucking “bookmark and share” popup blocked the caption and I thought this was Pauly Shore. I thought “hey, Pauly Shore is looking pretty good”…then I realized “no, Jason Patrick is looking really bad”…which obviously means it sucks to be Pauly Shore.

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