The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 9.13.11

September 13th, 2011 // 618 Comments

“Someone said that fatass Ali Lohan is out here. Point me at her.”

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Nancy Grace‘s best Casey Anthony-induced aneurysm face, promo shots Wonderful Pistachios inexplicably sent me from its latest commercial featuring Khloe & Lamar and The Winklevoss Twins because apparently these are the people – I almost said “celebrities.” – you want to endorse your nuts, I’m back to thinking Leo’s an idiot again and a full Final Five full of the full-figured Kelly Brook.

Is someone gonna help Selma Blair, or are we just leaving her dead body next to those chairs?

- The Superficial

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Photo: Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Donald Trump

    I think I’d rather take my chances putting my dick up Madonna’s old cooch rather than this nasty mess of a chick.

    • Bob

      That’s pressuming Madonna doesn’t make you face the wall at the same time and i’m not sure even The Donald is that elastic.

  2. Nancy Grace Dancing With The Stars
    Commented on this photo:

    Another day, another refreshing infusion of LeAnn Rimes colon flush!

  3. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she run out of cotton balls and eat her sleeve instead?

    • kimmykimkim

      Oh man! I just made a cotton ball joke on the story page. You beat me to it, bianca! Well, hamburgers!!

  4. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever since Gollum became a celebrity, he’s let fame go to his head… What’s next? Bikini endorsements?

  5. Kevin Connolly Shirt Stains
    Commented on this photo:

    After My dinner with Andy…Dick.

  6. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    I have a sudden urge for some ribs.

  7. Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey lady, I moved. I even posed for the damn picture. Now let me see the goods”

  8. Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Pistachios
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like they got a couple with 4 nuts to promote their nuts.

  9. Jason Patrick Shirtless
    Commented on this photo:

    How the hell did Nancy Grace get to Hawaii and into a bikini so fast?

  10. Nancy Grace Dancing With The Stars
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t decide which Hogan is pictured (Brooke, Hulk of Linda), buth he or she looks pretty good.

  11. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Green Wig Pretzel Necklace Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just going to start calling her “Lady Caca.”

  12. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Bobobo
    Commented on this photo:

    Ali Lohan looks great here.

  13. Selma Blair Portrait Venice International Film Festival
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    The power supply for the Selma Blair android didn’t last as long as they would have liked.

  14. Serena Williams Purple Hair Streaks
    Commented on this photo:

    “So what you’re saying is that you couldn’t find a dress in my size and you borrowed a hot air balloon??? Works for me…”

  15. Danny Glover Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or are the boobs on that award gigantic?

  16. Fish sucks on iPad

    One thing she hates is noise, noise, noise.

  17. Danny Glover Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards
    Trixie
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m NOT too old for this shit!!!!!

  18. Viggo Mortenson
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, I know celebrities are not supposed to bang ordinary folks in public but couldn’t he have at least lifted that banner a bit higher?

    • Don’t worry, there’s nothing interesting going on here. Let’s see…

      (haircut + hockey banner)(neck tattoo) ^ Viggo’s thinly-veiled exasperation = lesbian. Yep, it all checks out. Take THAT jesus, math wins again!

  19. Hugh Jackman Bike Ride
    Trixie
    Commented on this photo:

    When I get home, I’m going to take the seat off of this thing and have some *real* fun.

  20. Winklevoss Twins Pistachios
    Toxic Buddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha ha ha we really taught that Facebook guy a lesson didn’t we.

  21. JTrain

    I’m sorry but if she thinks this is pretty, she really is out of her mind. Her chest bone is freaking me out….. she needs to learn the phrase, “pass the potatoes and gravy please.”

  22. Bar Refaeli Tank Top US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof positive that Leo is gay.

  23. Danny Glover Afro-Caribbean Arts Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently he just found out about Mel making that Jewish movie…

  24. Christina Hendricks
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing new for her to stand beside a 6 foot tall dildo.

  25. Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Pistachios
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bitch, no! This is my cookie.”

  26. Owen Wilson US Open
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, he stole Skarsgard’s hair piece.

  27. Selma Blair Portrait Venice International Film Festival
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    So there really is a scrapheap? It’s not just a phrase?

  28. Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Pistachios
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one giant human being! Lamar looks taller, also.

  29. Bar Refaeli Tank Top US Open
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    Do not wear those sunglasses again, they make it look like she has a unibrow. she’s sure pretty.

  30. Bar Refaeli Tank Top US Open
    Fletch
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m stopping here. It can only go downhill.

  31. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    didn’t know George A.Romeo was shooting another movie.

  32. Selma Blair Portrait Venice International Film Festival
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    trick photography, shes really lying down

  33. Jason Patrick Shirtless
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Never allow a crab to crawl up your trunks…even if you want it to whack you off.

  34. Mickey Rourke
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or does it look like he has a small squirrel hanging out of his pocket? Is he going to meet up with Richard Geere?

  35. Serena Williams Purple Hair Streaks
    Commented on this photo:

    Once again proving that her most offensive conduct is off the court.

  36. Kelly Brook Minidress
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her she is just so gorgeous!!!

  37. kate

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

  38. Christina Hendricks
    Fish sucks on iPad
    Commented on this photo:

    Im sorry I cant say I know any of your work. *pulls out tits* Firefly, right?

  39. Serena Williams Purple Hair Streaks
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Aretha Franklin looks better without that blonde wig.

  40. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    I could fit her on my dick as well as Rosie Huntington-Whitely and Ali Lohan. Not that I’d want to. The vagina exits straight through to the asshole, right? Help me out here, I know there are some anatomical experts on this site.

  41. Kelly Brook Minidress
    Fletch
    Commented on this photo:

    Glad I didn’t stop at Bar.

  42. LeAnn Rimes Skinny
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Surprising that she has the muscles to lift those shoes.

  43. Nancy Grace Dancing With The Stars
    Commented on this photo:

    I never thought I’d say this, but someone needs to pay for inventing yoga pants.

  44. Hugh Jackman Bike Ride
    Dharma Initiative Beans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, it turns into a bike. Ladies?”

  45. Jason Patrick Shirtless
    irocksocksoff
    Commented on this photo:

    I drink your milkshake!!…and your pina colada. I love the beach!

  46. Jason Patrick Shirtless
    NEXUS INVICTO
    Commented on this photo:

    If i smile like this real hard, maybe they won’t notice my erection?

  47. Mr Obvious

    Eat something, please.

  48. Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Pistachios
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, Lamar had a wookie-punch target tattooed on his head? Dude, you may not always be married to the wookie.

  49. Lacey Schwimmer See Through Shirt Bra
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Seeing the back of her just seems to make people happy

  50. Lacey Schwimmer See Through Shirt Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    fat middle aged guy on the right says it all.

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