Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where I think it’s a little coincidental that Jared Leto picked today of all days to sport this beard. And no, I don’t mean he looks like a terrorist, that’s racist, but if he threw himself out of a skyscraper over it, I’d take that hit. Speaking of beards, we’ve got McLovin, who made himself one out of nut hair and Kelly Osbourne being a pretty ineffective one, since nobody knows exactly who is supposed to be the dude in this relationship. Finally, I have to point out that it’s not often someone gets two pics in TCWM, but how do you choose between Sean Connery either toasting absolutely nobody while wearing a Snuggie or just before reenacting the classic scene in You Only Live Twice, when the entire female population of Asia blows him?
The answer is you don’t. You don’t ever omit either one of those things. Write that down,
- Photo Boy
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did his kid make that shirt for him?
Just heard the sound of a jewelry box being opened a mile down the road.
She’s going on lunch break, but she’ll be back to finish everyone’s blow jobs.
And bam, just like that, the douche throne has been snatched away from John Mayer and Chris Brown and reclaimed by its rightful master.
Guarantee you this guy was the real killer. His story was total bullshit.
I would bang her once out of respect for her father and mother. Just once.
Dammit, the douche throne might be up for grabs again.
This is your brain on drugs?
This dude is 100% gay, he and she aren’t fooling anyone.
I would bang her in a heartbeat. Always loved her, always will.
I guess we know who is going to be in the next Michael Bay movie.
Man all you guys are a sad lot!
hypnotoad
Bugly = Butt + ugly
“Listen, little Asian lass, just because I’m taking a sip of wine doesn’t mean you should stop sucking!”
(If you want this to sound like Sean Connery then do it in your head while you read it.)
Hey, this is Earth-shattering. Someone contact the State Department. We have a Jew and an Arab kissing!
He’s just showing her his prime specimen of Alabama blacksnake.
Really nice ass. You, too, Jen.
You all shouldn’t rank on this guy so badly. I mean, what is he, around 8 or 9?
Why is she giving Emma Watson a piggy-back ride?
Fuck these temporal distortion Star Trek episodes. So Picard, retarded Data, and Ponch from Chips have to rescue a tennis player from the Borg in the year 2012?
It’s rare that I see someone that I could, and would, beat up. Usually it’s like a meat head that I would beat up, but could not actually defeat in a fight so I pass. Or some old dick at Star Bucks that I could beat up, but really wouldn’t out of decency. But this…..this is different.
I liked her until her anti Romney comments. Who the hell wants another 4 years of Obabalatta?
I step out of my time machine and approach Orenthal James. “OJ, you haven’t done anything…yet. But I have a proposition for you.” In our reality this picture just fades away.
She’s putting those rumors about her being ugly to rest.
This fucking guy makes my coffee at every single place I go in the entire world. Weird.
I see a Chupacabra.
She has a unique body where childbirth is only initiated when the breasts become bigger than the chin. So I guess she has another 17 months to go.
“I can’t believe they made M into a damn skirt. Ah well, here’s to you, Good Ole Days”
Meh. She’s got a pretty face, but does nothing for me otherwise.
You’re right, except about the pretty face part.
There is always one black guy saying it with his eyes …
They must really be on hard times if they have to resort to sharing alcohol vapors.
“Wait, you have a wolf with you? And you want me to punch it?”
More lumps than a sugar cube factory.
Forever pregnant.
“I ashked for a dosh shekkies”
There’s a man with a wealth of experience. A man who’s seen the highs, the really lows, and many, many creamy middles. A man with fans from ten to ninety-and-ten.
Which is why he carries a stethoscope.
I want to know who’s chest is in the foreground.
I won’t lie, I have an irrational desire to punch his face, punch it again and again while his little whiny douche voice complains.
I have no justification for this comment.
you know, you only live once – I say you should go ahead and follow that dream!
where’s me cats all gone? Have you had them you fukkahs?
whoop whoop, trombone, cablecar, hatstand, cupcake, rabbit dress
Awesome at everything he does.
Yum…i bet he is:)
Very sexy ass on Jennifer.
Does that asshole from “Gossip Girl” have to douche up every picture he’s in? For fuck’s sake, can’t he look like a normal human being for once?
Douchebaggery personified.
What? No tongue? Where’s the love?
Mark is a pretty good actor. He only became really popular lately, but he’s been around for a while.
You Can Count on Me is, like, one of the best movies.
Despite all the goofy fucking faces she likes to make, she’s actually quite pretty. I totally would.
I would still wreck that. Just out of respect for how hot she used to be. I would blast my load all over her face.
She is a very sexy woman. 40 years old. She’s still as hot as ever. One of my all time Hollywood crushes. Beautiful, talented and has dark side. Perfect woman.