The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 9.10.13

September 10th, 2013 // 373 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m gonna cut right to the chase and tell you Kelly Brook‘s in the now sporadic Final Five position. Fun Fact: She recently dumped her boyfriend because he was cheating on her. Cheating on Kelly Brook. Short of a cave troll living in her vagina, I can’t imagine what it takes to make that seem like a good idea, and come to think of it, does the troll also have huge breasts? I seem to be getting off the subject here. Today’s random fuckery includes Antonio Banderas launching his new fragrance that people with business degrees actually let him call ‘Her Golden Secret,’ Tilda Swinton and some dude from every nightmare I will ever have from now on, and Abigail Breslin‘s now frequently appearing cleavage which has to stop immediately.

Right here, Olive. That’s the only appropriate response to that.

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Abigail Breslin Cleavage HFPA InStyle Party
    JPC
    Commented on this photo:

    *checks Wiki for age*…. Damnit, so close.

  2. Sean Connery Leonardo DiCaprio US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammnit DiCaprio! Your penish just touched my ash! Now back off before I knock the shnot out of you!

  3. Nicolas Cage Red Sunglasses Derpface Joe Premiere TIFF
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s changing his name to Nic “Puffy” Cage.

  4. Gene Simmons Brown Tongue KISS Makeup
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone’s seen Caddyshack too many times.

  5.  Tilda Swinton Tomas Lemarquis Snowpierce Photocall Deuaville American Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Living art.

  6. Gene Simmons Brown Tongue KISS Makeup
    Commented on this photo:

    I think you can get a topical solution for that.

  7. Christina Hendricks Butt Tight Pants NYC Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Unfortunately, they’re skin tight all the way down.

  8. Dave Chappelle Posing With Paparazzi
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see that Chappelle’s still selling tickets to the gun show.

  9. Gene Simmons Brown Tongue KISS Makeup
    Commented on this photo:

    Must have hooked up with Catherine Zeta Jones.

  10. Farrah Abraham Walking With Greasy Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Stock in the zip-up hoodie market just plummeted.

  11. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Pants Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet when she clicks the button on her keychain, it goes “Wookie wookie.”

  12. Nicolas Cage Red Sunglasses Derpface Joe Premiere TIFF
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you think Nic Cage knows that we know that he’s really bald?

  13. Abigail Breslin Cleavage HFPA InStyle Party
    jorge
    Commented on this photo:

    breastlin

  14. Mila Kunis Cleavage Third Person Premiere TIFF
    Commented on this photo:

    Weird body, Fat. Man-hands.

    Oh, so Aston Kutcher > Kevin Federline?

  15. Abigail Breslin Cleavage HFPA InStyle Party
    Urbanspaceman
    Commented on this photo:

    Generally girls who have a body like that at her age find themselves at 30 weighing closer to 300 than 200. Just sayin…

    • dontkillthemessenger

      So you’re saying we need to pull a Wilmer Valderrama and (against the advice of our lawyer) just bang her now?

  16.  Tilda Swinton Tomas Lemarquis Snowpierce Photocall Deuaville American Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Twins.

  17. Farrah Abraham Walking With Greasy Man
    jorge
    Commented on this photo:

    glad to see the dice man is dating

  18.  Tilda Swinton Tomas Lemarquis Snowpierce Photocall Deuaville American Film Festival
    Urbanspaceman
    Commented on this photo:

    Every day is Halloween for Matilda.

  19. Dave Chappelle Posing With Paparazzi
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just glad to see M.C. Hammer working again.

  20. Katherine Webb Butt Tight Jeans An Evening By Sherri Hill Fashion Show
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this woman is hot. That is all.

  21. Sean Connery Leonardo DiCaprio US Open
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    Pish in my butt like one of your french girlsh

  22. Abigail Breslin Cleavage HFPA InStyle Party
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    soon

  23. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Pants Suit
    Urbanspaceman
    Commented on this photo:

    Not really a Kardashian.

  24. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Daisy Dukes Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Coming soon – Snow White starring Miley Cyrus.

  25. Mila Kunis Cleavage Third Person Premiere TIFF
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    A Kunis x Kutcher sex tape would be high on my naughty internet wish list.

  26. Simon Pegg Random Chick In Car
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoever said last week that this place is just a giant mound of Cocaine is looking quite prophetic.

  27. Minka Kelly Nipples Fox Fall Eco-Casino Party
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Charlie’s Angels look as perky as ever.

  28. Olivia Wilde Nipples Sagging Boobs Third Person Premiere TIFF
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    How very fluorescent. Golly.

  29. Dave Chappelle Posing With Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that’s what you call fuckin respect !

  30. Farrah Abraham Walking With Greasy Man
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks half way through a celebrity anecdote. He looks like a random pedestrian in the wrong place at the wrong time..

  31. Christina Hendricks Butt Tight Pants NYC Fashion Week
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The black guy isn’t even pretending to get the face in the picture.

  32. Sean Connery Leonardo DiCaprio US Open
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I told this young fella to get me a scotch and he gets me a girlie drink.

  33. Liam Neeson Third Person Premiere TIFF
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

  34. Sean Connery Leonardo DiCaprio US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    Lishen you little shit…you’ll never get more pushy than me.

  35. Stacy Keibler Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks a little chilly in NYC.

  36. Nicolas Cage Red Sunglasses Derpface Joe Premiere TIFF
    Commented on this photo:

    guy in back….eyes…..saying it all

  37. Nick Jonas Front Row An Evening By Sherri Hill Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    A Jonas brother at a fashion show?

    NOOOOOOOO…

  38. Dave Chappelle Posing With Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m Rick James, Asshole!”
    “I’m wealthy, girlfriend!”
    “Whhhat? Yeeppp! Allriight!”
    “Is Wayne Brady going to have to strangle lady?”
    “Ipod Blue”

    We’re uh, never gonna get to hear him do stand-up again, are we?

  39. Katherine Webb Butt Tight Jeans An Evening By Sherri Hill Fashion Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a perfect ever so slightly contemptuous bitchface.
    It’s worth checking out if anyone can tear their eyes off of her ass.

  40. Dave Chappelle Posing With Paparazzi
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    No truth to the rumor he took 2 pictures, then quit that shit too.

  41. Dave Chappelle Posing With Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    “come on Dave, just kneel down next to that homeless guy and say ‘cocaine is a hell of a drug’…come on man!”

  42. Ethan Hawke Bloody Arm In Sling Taking Selfie Cymbeline Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Dilemma – go to hospital or take a selfie?

  43. Farrah Abraham Walking With Greasy Man
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what kind of cut he gets from her renting her asshole out to middle aged mayoral candidates.

  44. Nick Jonas Front Row An Evening By Sherri Hill Fashion Show
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress would look perfect on me………..my girlfriend, I meant.

  45. Sean Connery Leonardo DiCaprio US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    Col. Fun has arrived! Ah, you read my mind. I need a stiff one in me after that car ride. Never let a woman drive your Aston, Kiki.

  46. Abigail Breslin Cleavage HFPA InStyle Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    What a gorgeous little milkmaid.

  47. Sean Connery Leonardo DiCaprio US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    “Chrrrisht, is that Mimosha-drrinking daishy frrom that Godawful shinking boat movie SHTILL rright behind me?”

  48. Abigail Breslin Cleavage HFPA InStyle Party
    Commented on this photo:

    17 is new 18

  49.  Tilda Swinton Tomas Lemarquis Snowpierce Photocall Deuaville American Film Festival
    ElCartero
    Commented on this photo:

    “You are my wife.” “Goodbye, city life!”

  50. Nick Jonas Front Row An Evening By Sherri Hill Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright, let’s get these women out of here and bring in the male runway models. They have those, right?

Leave A Comment