“I swear, pickles are the only long, hard thing I’ve ever had in my mouth!”

“I can’t believe you’re the bigger famewhore in this photo!”

“I’ve been walking around with this guy stuck in my ass all day! All day!”

Ooooo, I don’t mind backdoor entrance….from a stranger.

I’d shred her dumper like a blown semi tire. I’m not even ashamed of it anymore. Like you people are any better than me.

“ALRIGHT! I hooked up the hose, fire up the shop-vac! Let’s get this enema started!” – The guy in the maroon shirt moments after this photo was snapped.

I didn’t realize they made a doggie crate big enough for Snooki. Apparently I was wrong. Props to the engineer for including a garden hose hookup to clean the inside when she leaves for the day.

He’s alive, that much I can see, so either this guy doesn’t go down on her or he was in a terrible accident at a young age, where he lost his sense of smell. Nothing else makes sense.

Anonymous man in maroon shirt and black hat attempts to the stop the onslaught of Snooki laying cable.

“I never fucked no mooleys, swear ta God”

“No, guy, I’m for serious. I take off my heels and it’s right there.”

There must be a gas leak in my apartment because even though she’s mimicking a sex doll, I think she looks kinda decent (cute even) in this pic*.

* I’m ignoring the shoes in this assessment.**

** well crap, I just gave away my gender and/or sexual orientation.

So, he’s blind, deaf, and has no sense of smell. The perfect man for her.

Is he a midget? Excuse me…that’s not politically correct. Is he a ‘little person?’

The clothing at K-Mart has really taken a turn

I don’t care how much weight she drops,that is one ugly bitch.

Proof positive that all blow-up dolls have that stupid surprised look on their face.

“Oh! I just had a thought!” “You did, Baby? Finally!”

“Oh shit! I think my bracelet just punctured something.”