The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 8.26.14

August 26th, 2014 // Leave a Comment

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring JLo doubling down on butt, because if you haven’t heard butts are the new tits. Except for Kim Kardashian. We still find her ass grotesque in every possible way and wish it would hurry up and eat her entire family as foretold in Revelations. We’ve also got Miley Cyrus instagramming screenshots from her dad’s gay-for-pay days and Paula Patton bouncing back strong from her marriage’s failure by going commando in a see-through dress in public.

“Daddy, look! Mommy’s boobies are on the TV!”
“That’s not your fault son. Sometimes mommies and daddies have to be apart for a while.”
“No, I know, she said she was going to show them to everyone because of your dirty thingie.”

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Steven Spielberg Eating Ice Cream Cone
    journalschism
    Commented on this photo:

    “But sir, there’s no ‘Gwyneth’ cone on the men– Ok, I’ll play along, dammit. Here’s your Gwyneth Cream, Mr. Spielberg.”

  2. Russell Simmons Talking To Group Of Women HBO Emmys After Party
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture perfectly demonstrates the direct correlation between the degree of side-eye and the amount of side-boob.

  3. Nicole Scherzinger Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, I’m so sorry, sweetie, but you’ll never make it in Hollywood without tits or an ass.”

  4. Alec Baldwin Frustrated Covering Eyes Hilaria Baldwin US Open Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alec, the spiritual energy in the crowd seems low. Should I raise their chi with my yoga poses?”

  5. Rob Ford Yellow Teeth Head Back Laughing Ribbon Cutting Ceremony At Campaign Headquarters
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    He just had an orgasm after the news that Burger King is buying Tim Hortons and moving their headquarters to his city.

  6. Alec Baldwin Frustrated Covering Eyes Hilaria Baldwin US Open Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    I know that look. You listen to some of the stupid crap an attractive person says before you have a sexual relationship thinking “It’s not that bad”.After the honeymoon period is over, reality hits you and you realize it’s all stupid shit.

    If this was in a movie theater, I would be the black guy yelling “RUN MUTHAFUCKA RUN!”

  7. Bai Ling Nipples No Bra ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
    Marketing Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Typical Bai, that was probably 80 degree water
    and she probably practiced 100 times before they shot it.

  8. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Skirt Holding Daughter North
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she ever just wear jeans and a tshirt? Her wardrobe looks so uncomfortable and unrealistic

  9. Lucas Haas Smoking Cigar Hot Chick Mom Butt Skinny Jeans
    FromVancouver
    Commented on this photo:

    Lucas Haas, OR the younger, sexier, better smelling and smaller purse carrying Johnny Depp?

  10. Alec Baldwin Frustrated Covering Eyes Hilaria Baldwin US Open Opening Night
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    “If thy eye offends thee, then pluck it out.”

  11. Deborah Ann Woll Adjusting Mic Pack On Leg Elden Henson Daredevil Set
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    Her: “Elden HENSON?”

    Him: “Yeah …”

    Her: “Weren’t you one of Jim Henson’s muppet babies?”

    Him: ” … Yeah.”

  12. Tracy Anderson Ripped Midriff Skinny Legs Short Shorts Republic Records Official MTV VMA After Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a character out of a anti-anorexia public service announcement.

  13. Russell Simmons Talking To Group Of Women HBO Emmys After Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess the monthly Eastern European Model drop off at his Fashion line headquarters is late this month.

  14. Jennifer Lopez Iggy Azalea Swimsuits Butts Together Instagram
    brian
    Commented on this photo:

    J-Lo. Even though she’s 45, it still looks plump and juicy.

  15. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Skirt Holding Daughter North
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t worry guys, North and I will be back for more pictures, we just have to change our diapers.

  16. Paula Patton Nipples No Bra See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    I want a woman shaped like a rectangle.

  17. Alec Baldwin Frustrated Covering Eyes Hilaria Baldwin US Open Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    His face after the last pic of Kardashian’s ass.

  18. Shia LaBeouf Man Boobs Tight Shirt And Jeans Iced Coffee
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice fuckin’ shoes, asshole.

  19. Jennifer Lopez Iggy Azalea Swimsuits Butts Together Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She must’ve gotten that ghetto booty from the same store in Australia where she bought her American blacccent. She’s the realest…

  20. Billy Ray Cyrus Milk Moustache Cowboy Hat Miley Cyrus Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    In ’91, if you wanted to open on Garth Brooks’ tour, you paid Garth Brooks’ price.

  21. Camila Alves Cleavage See Through Dress Matthew McConaughey 66th Primetime Emmy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like he just yelled out Woody’s name during sex again.

  22. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Skirt Holding Daughter North
    Jim
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, that dress does make your ass look big.

    …oh, and I smell pee.

  23. Alec Baldwin Frustrated Covering Eyes Hilaria Baldwin US Open Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alec, is the moon really made of cheese? And how could a cow jump over it? They’re not even very good jumpers. And if it is cheese why don’t we use it too feed all the hungry people? And…”

  24. Bai Ling Nipples No Bra ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
    Commented on this photo:

    Bai felt great that her usual post-bukkake clean-up would also help raise money for a worthy cause.

  25. Steven Spielberg Eating Ice Cream Cone
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stevie, hand me that ice cream! You’re going to ruin your pretty white outfit and you look so handsome, now hand it to me this instant! Steven! Steven, stop trying to jam it all in your mouth at once! You’ll give yourself a headache and then who’s going to talk to Tom Hanks about WWII all day?”

  26. Tom Cruise Rebecca Ferguson Mission Impossible 5 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    The MacGuffin for this Mission: Impossible is Tom’s dramatic attempt to escape contact with any vagina.

  27. Michael Cera Derpface Signing Autographs Late Show With David Letterman
    Commented on this photo:

    Sharpie fumes take a real toll on his delicate sensibilities.

  28. Justin Bieber Pink Shoes Stupid Hat Buying Guitar
    Spleen
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuckwit.

  29. Michael Cera Derpface Signing Autographs Late Show With David Letterman
    Spleen
    Commented on this photo:

    They photoshopped out the drool.

  30. Rob Ford Yellow Teeth Head Back Laughing Ribbon Cutting Ceremony At Campaign Headquarters
    Spleen
    Commented on this photo:

    He likes the vibrating butt plug quite a bit.

  31. Deborah Ann Woll Adjusting Mic Pack On Leg Elden Henson Daredevil Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t you hate it when your penis becomes unstrapped and it starts poking out from under your miniskirt?”
    “Yeah it happe- wait… What?!”

  32. Nicole Scherzinger Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh my god! You remember who I am ?”
    “Uh…You’re one of the Spice girls right?”

  33. Lucas Haas Smoking Cigar Hot Chick Mom Butt Skinny Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are you going to let me be in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie?”

  34. Dascha Polanco Cleavage 66th Primetime Emmy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s happening! I ain’t waiting in no bathroom line. You don’t like it, don’t watch.”

  35. Camila Alves Cleavage See Through Dress Matthew McConaughey 66th Primetime Emmy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they going to a prom ?

  36. Alec Baldwin Frustrated Covering Eyes Hilaria Baldwin US Open Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    (sigh) “I miss that McEnroe”

  37. Justin Bieber Pink Shoes Stupid Hat Buying Guitar
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can I get this in passion pink ?”

  38. Miley Cyrus Nipples No Bra Legs Short Shorts Sweater Vest
    Commented on this photo:

    Are those the homeless guy’s jorts ?

  39. Iggy Azalea Huge Ass Spandex Pants LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    How did I miss this picture? That’s a sweet ass. Nice opener and closer, Photo Boy.

  40. Jennifer Lopez Iggy Azalea Swimsuits Butts Together Instagram
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    Right…..I’ve yet to see a photo proving that Iggy can tan that dark.

  41. Alec Baldwin Frustrated Covering Eyes Hilaria Baldwin US Open Opening Night
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    Alec: “For the love of God, I am not instragramming a photo of you doing your yoga shit here.”

  42. Malin Akerman Nipples No Bra
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Fairly sure this is what Bruce Jenner sees when he looks at himself in the mirror.

  43. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Skirt Holding Daughter North
    Commented on this photo:

    No mater what, there’s always a time-traveling Ringo Starr in the background saying it with his face.

  44. Deborah Ann Woll Adjusting Mic Pack On Leg Elden Henson Daredevil Set
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the face of a man thinking, “You know, I thought she was attractive, but up close it looks like she’s trying to jam 10 pounds of meat into a 5 pound bag.”

  45. Miley Cyrus Nipples No Bra Legs Short Shorts Sweater Vest
    gleeksquad
    Commented on this photo:

    Lisbeth Salander got her tattoos removed?

  46. Tracy Anderson Ripped Midriff Skinny Legs Short Shorts Republic Records Official MTV VMA After Party
    gleeksquad
    Commented on this photo:

    This is exactly why Michelle Duggar is calling all the residents of Arkansas

  47. Tom Cruise Rebecca Ferguson Mission Impossible 5 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I see England, I see France,……..

  48. Miley Cyrus Nipples No Bra Legs Short Shorts Sweater Vest
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor little guy…..

  49. Justin Bieber Pink Shoes Stupid Hat Buying Guitar
    Mike Anger
    Commented on this photo:

    “Selena said she wouldn’t come back until I could show her my long hard straight thing that she can play with …. well who’s laughing now, Chipmunk?”

  50. Billy Ray Cyrus Milk Moustache Cowboy Hat Miley Cyrus Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    He apparently wiped his eyes before this picture was taken…

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