Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which you may notice is arriving several hours late because, Jesus Cristo, what a fucking afternoon. If the earth wasn’t rattling on the wrong coast thanks to Chick-Fil-A not being open on Sundays (I told them this would happen.), our network managed to have a frustrating number of meltdowns in the past 48 hours which was completely unrelated to the quake – Or soft breeze from a butterfly’s wing to you Californians. – but more importantly is entirely unacceptable to you guys, so huge apologies. We’ve got a crack team poking and prodding, yet no one’s trying my ideas because apparently computer servers lack sex organs. You got me.
Anyway, business as usual tomorrow – In theory. – and sorry again for the inconvenience. It’s been an asshole of a day.
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
Smartwater: you can either drink it or use it for those special times when you can’t stalk a celebrity.
Nothing says gay NY icon like a light blue holocaust t-shirt…
List of the things I’d rather see than this picture…
# 6,023: Nicole Eggert’s dinner. After she shits it out.
When did Burt Reynolds start wearing glasses? Oh, wait, never mind, I just read the caption. I thought it was Burt, what with the ample chest thicket and radiating heterosexuality.
I commend you for thinking to yourself, “who is the complete opposite of super gay, the most manliest man in all of history”? And you came up with, Burt Reynolds. Because you are correct.
Justin, tuck your shirt in.
I think that guy in the background might be the sexiest woman in this picture.
Good God. Is it bad that at first glance of her face I thought this was Kris Jenner?
Vanessa Hudgeins: the future Jennifer love Hewwit.
You know he wants to…
Wait, wait……Her name is POOTS???? ROFLMAO! I don’t think I’ve laughed in 3 days, but that did it!!!
It gets better. Apparently her middle name is Gay.
That has got to be the most unfortunate actor name in the history of theater and film. SMH
Longer steps mean she gets to see her feet every now and then.
Officer, I am a criminal and I must insist on a cavity search.
Approaching maximum density…she’s not gonna hold cap’n!
(Borat voice)… very nice.
No one suspected that the dude with the glorious mustache was the one who farted…
Not bad for…what is he now? 89?
Laverne, you still got it!!!!
well at least New york has a new cave.
Indy told you to keep your eyes shut…
FTW.
oh look its ozzy osbourne and ozzy osbourne.
yes madame, your vagina has been massaged,washed and dryed.
Guess which chair Khloe was in when the dessert bell rang?
Nothing says ‘sexy’ like the thumbs in the pockets! Yessirree!! Now I didn’t say if it was straight sexy or gay sexy now did I?
Tara Reid will you marry me?
” it was easier not to get a boner when you were fat and brunette.”
she isn’t fat. you see little green men from Mars are secretly pumping her full of air.
Shoulda said yes to Spy Kids 4. I bet Jessica Alba could pay for this meter…
back to dressing like scotty
I didn’t know they were making another Scream movie! That new Ghostface mask is terrifying.
“I wish I were one of the Kardashians… Kris, can you adopt me please? And get me a husband? “
This is as believable as Khloe Kardashian starring as an anorexic.
“Ok, Morty, you are my agent. I need more naked pictures online. My career is dying her.”
“her” should be here.
Morty: “Walk around L.A. in an oversized T-shirt and nothing on underneath.”
… and f-me boots.
Christina Hendricks’ skinny sister.
took the words right out my mouth.
Where did her tits go????
Pretty sure I’ve never seen her with tits
I get the feeling that she wants us to look at her boobs.
+YES
Ok, enough with the Sam Ronson photos. We know she used to fuck Lilo. Who cares?
Am I the only person who’s ever noticed how freakishly long his neck is?
Your thinking of that puppet lama from tmz.
Spider Pig, Spider Pig. Does whatever a Spider Pig does.
“Kim Kardashian is married, right? Maybe if I look like her I can get married. The engagement rings in my purse are starting to get heavy.”
Not sure about the dress, the movie looks like the other 60 movies that “inspired” it but Zoe is f*ckin sexy.
I would pay to see Tom Selleck’s mustache fight Chuck Norris’ beard. Make it happen Tinseltown.
Baby arm!!!!
Hollywood’s involuntary reaction to her middle name. Like the hiccups.
She looks kinda cute with clothes on.
Buy a fucking mirror.
She looks like the little person version of Kirsten Dunst. She must be about to get a show on TLC.
Khloe Kardashian is so proud of the fact that she has landed a real acting job in the Beetlejuice remake that she wears her “Sandworm # 2″ costume everywhere she goes.
Man of a thousand faces that all look the same.
Joan Rivers in 10 years.
Which will be three years after she died. Looks about right.
Good freakin call!! Dead ringer!! ~ugh~
Looks like Patrick Swayze’s ghost is inhabiting Chaz Bono.
Actually looking Swayze is a term.