The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 8.23.11

August 23rd, 2011 // 382 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which you may notice is arriving several hours late because, Jesus Cristo, what a fucking afternoon. If the earth wasn’t rattling on the wrong coast thanks to Chick-Fil-A not being open on Sundays (I told them this would happen.), our network managed to have a frustrating number of meltdowns in the past 48 hours which was completely unrelated to the quake – Or soft breeze from a butterfly’s wing to you Californians. – but more importantly is entirely unacceptable to you guys, so huge apologies. We’ve got a crack team poking and prodding, yet no one’s trying my ideas because apparently computer servers lack sex organs. You got me.

Anyway, business as usual tomorrow – In theory. – and sorry again for the inconvenience. It’s been an asshole of a day.

- The Superficial

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Jennifer Love Hewitt Animal Print
    Commented on this photo:

    Smartwater: you can either drink it or use it for those special times when you can’t stalk a celebrity.

  2. Alan Cumming
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says gay NY icon like a light blue holocaust t-shirt…

  3. Courtney Love Cleavage
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    List of the things I’d rather see than this picture…

    # 6,023: Nicole Eggert’s dinner. After she shits it out.

  4. Alan Cumming
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Burt Reynolds start wearing glasses? Oh, wait, never mind, I just read the caption. I thought it was Burt, what with the ample chest thicket and radiating heterosexuality.

    • DeucePickle

      I commend you for thinking to yourself, “who is the complete opposite of super gay, the most manliest man in all of history”? And you came up with, Burt Reynolds. Because you are correct.

  5. Justin Timberlake
    Mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin, tuck your shirt in.

  6. Kirsten Dunst
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I think that guy in the background might be the sexiest woman in this picture.

  7. Vanessa Hudgens
    LilSawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Good God. Is it bad that at first glance of her face I thought this was Kris Jenner?

  8. Vanessa Hudgens
    Commented on this photo:

    Vanessa Hudgeins: the future Jennifer love Hewwit.

  9. Jack Osbourne Kelly Osbourne
    Commented on this photo:

    You know he wants to…

  10. Penn Badgley Immogen Poots
    sc4play
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, wait……Her name is POOTS???? ROFLMAO! I don’t think I’ve laughed in 3 days, but that did it!!!

  11. Jennifer Love Hewitt Animal Print
    Commented on this photo:

    Longer steps mean she gets to see her feet every now and then.

  12. Leelee Sobieski Cop Uniform
    Commented on this photo:

    Officer, I am a criminal and I must insist on a cavity search.

  13. Jessica Chastain Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Approaching maximum density…she’s not gonna hold cap’n!

  14. Victoria Justice Bikini
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    (Borat voice)… very nice.

  15. Tom Selleck
    LilSawk
    Commented on this photo:

    No one suspected that the dude with the glorious mustache was the one who farted…

  16. Tom Selleck
    Commented on this photo:

    Not bad for…what is he now? 89?

  17. Kirsten Dunst
    Commented on this photo:

    Laverne, you still got it!!!!

  18. Bethenny Frankel
    Commented on this photo:

    well at least New york has a new cave.

  19. Courtney Love Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Indy told you to keep your eyes shut…

  20. Jack Osbourne Kelly Osbourne
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    oh look its ozzy osbourne and ozzy osbourne.

  21. Zoe Saldana Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    yes madame, your vagina has been massaged,washed and dryed.

  22. East Coast Earthquake Damage
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess which chair Khloe was in when the dessert bell rang?

  23. Chris Jericho Scarf
    sc4play
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says ‘sexy’ like the thumbs in the pockets! Yessirree!! Now I didn’t say if it was straight sexy or gay sexy now did I?

  24. Courtney Love Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Tara Reid will you marry me?

  25. Jack Osbourne Kelly Osbourne
    RHawk
    Commented on this photo:

    ” it was easier not to get a boner when you were fat and brunette.”

  26. Kirsten Dunst
    Commented on this photo:

    she isn’t fat. you see little green men from Mars are secretly pumping her full of air.

  27. Carla Gugino Cleavage
    CallieDee
    Commented on this photo:

    Shoulda said yes to Spy Kids 4. I bet Jessica Alba could pay for this meter…

  28. Phillip Seymour Hoffman
    Lynx
    Commented on this photo:

    back to dressing like scotty

  29. Bethenny Frankel
    Julia
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know they were making another Scream movie! That new Ghostface mask is terrifying.

  30. Jennifer Love Hewitt Animal Print
    allieb
    Commented on this photo:

    “I wish I were one of the Kardashians… Kris, can you adopt me please? And get me a husband? “

  31. Leelee Sobieski Cop Uniform
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    This is as believable as Khloe Kardashian starring as an anorexic.

  32. Vanessa Hudgens
    RHawk
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ok, Morty, you are my agent. I need more naked pictures online. My career is dying her.”

  33. Jessica Chastain Cleavage
    CallieDee
    Commented on this photo:

    Christina Hendricks’ skinny sister.

  34. Zoe Saldana Minidress
    RHawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Where did her tits go????

  35. Jessica Chastain Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I get the feeling that she wants us to look at her boobs.

  36. Alan Cumming
    RHawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, enough with the Sam Ronson photos. We know she used to fuck Lilo. Who cares?

  37. Taylor Lautner
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only person who’s ever noticed how freakishly long his neck is?

  38. Kirsten Dunst
    RHawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Spider Pig, Spider Pig. Does whatever a Spider Pig does.

  39. Jennifer Love Hewitt Animal Print
    Commented on this photo:

    “Kim Kardashian is married, right? Maybe if I look like her I can get married. The engagement rings in my purse are starting to get heavy.”

  40. Zoe Saldana Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Not sure about the dress, the movie looks like the other 60 movies that “inspired” it but Zoe is f*ckin sexy.

  41. Tom Selleck
    Commented on this photo:

    I would pay to see Tom Selleck’s mustache fight Chuck Norris’ beard. Make it happen Tinseltown.

  42. Kirsten Dunst
    jmort
    Commented on this photo:

    Baby arm!!!!

  43. Penn Badgley Immogen Poots
    Rough's sizemograph
    Commented on this photo:

    Hollywood’s involuntary reaction to her middle name. Like the hiccups.

  44. Jack Osbourne Kelly Osbourne
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks kinda cute with clothes on.

  45. Alan Cumming
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Buy a fucking mirror.

  46. Kirsten Dunst
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the little person version of Kirsten Dunst. She must be about to get a show on TLC.

  47. Khloe Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Khloe Kardashian is so proud of the fact that she has landed a real acting job in the Beetlejuice remake that she wears her “Sandworm # 2″ costume everywhere she goes.

  48. Phillip Seymour Hoffman
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Man of a thousand faces that all look the same.

  49. Courtney Love Cleavage
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Joan Rivers in 10 years.

  50. Chris Jericho Scarf
    Thom
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Patrick Swayze’s ghost is inhabiting Chaz Bono.

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