Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that isn’t quite the behemoth that yesterday’s post was, but you probably missed that anyway on account of Katy Perry getting shitfaced and mooning an entire waterpark. Anyway, today we’ve got Jessie J subbing a guitar in place of a big black microphone, Brigitte Nielsen somehow stowed away in Stallone‘s luggage for The Expendables 2 press tour, and I continue my quest to always juxtapose Kim Kardashian‘s bag of chewed gum with an ass actually worthy of a feigned candid pose.
Speaking of asses, remember that chick from yesterday who was getting hers massaged by an aging Italian singer? She’s back in today’s Final Five,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
He’s like Weird Al’s bastard love child….
Still trying to win a part in Contagion 2, I see!
You know how I know there’s something phony going on here? Her ass looks OK.
Optical illusion: Her giant padded sleeves are giving her a “balanced” effect.
That could be it. Because I know her ass looks like a train wreck.
It’s The Superficial: The Ass Edition. And I approve.
Want me to spoil the twist ending? The “something kicking in my womb” turns out to be cancer.
Hey, how YOU doin’?
Did Sly tell him Expendables 2 was literally a circle jerk?
Tranny Nanny? I’d watch that.
Where’s Lindsey when you need her… 2 birds, 1 stone, people…
Don’t you just want to cut that hair off?
Well, you would be tired too if you spent the entire day healing the sick and turning water into wine.
What a chivalrous gentleman… ready to give a rose to a lady he fancies…
It took four hours of Shia shouting at a team of six Starbucks baristas before they finally got his order just right.
I think she’s wearing Marilyn Monroe’s old clothes. They don’t fit Taylor just right, do they?
Ready for her money shot…
So, she’s got her rapey look down.
Sadly we laugh at him but he’ll be banging both those hos shortly.
Yeah, but we’ll be $50 richer.
and then we can laugh even harder, because at least one of those 2 broads is a trannie!
Where oh where, does this little shit get so much Whore Money!
Alex: The answer is 1937
Me: When is the last time someone walked on a Kennedy property who wasn’t either a himbo or bimbo?
Kim Kardashian posted this pic to Twitter, after first sending it to her photoshop team for ‘tweaking’ (August 12, 2012)
Cougar boobs.
Couobs?
The ladies are realizing that standing next to the latest Kia at the auto show is better than this gig.
It’s good to see him putting that physics doctorate to use.
This is a great photo. Both subjects look as if they are having a helluva fun time.
Wrong hand for the loser sign, dear.
Get it? It’s called the “Rose Club” and they gave me roses!!
Also, I’m high.
this
“I thought it was just a fart.”
No no no no no no no no NOOOO. I ordered soy milk.
Aw, he’s got an iccle basket to curl up in and sleep.
Or an up-turned stool, if you must.
Damn. I thought it was a litter box.
I love the word “iccle”.
Nicki Minaj.
Yes. It is.
It’s as if someone took a small pale ape, shaved it some, stuffed it into a suit, and sent it off with a cup of banana pulp.
i’m not even sure why, but this is an incredible word picture. i can’t stop laughing.
Nothing purple has scared me that much since that Barney at my birthday party tried to molest me. And I’d still rather hang out with him.
“People on ‘ludes should NOT drive….!”
This is how real women are shaped…mmm
Umm, no. No its not.
Uh, yeah, it is, actually. They have curves, and lots of them. The curvier the better, because no curves = man.
too bad nothing about her is REAL. this pic is photoshopped and her ass, tits, and whole face is fake! shes a cow ridden with cellulite
Um yeah I’m sure it is photoshopped. Who cares, no woman is “perfect”. But her figure is incredible, perfect example of female specimen.
Jennifer Lawrence has a great body. This chick is nasty even after serious digital manipulation. I mean with a computer.
hahahahahaha!
hahahahah
Ah that’s awesome! Now I look stoned and/or deranged. :)
You should check out her real pics from yesterday-the ones she did not have a chance to photoshop! Big dose of reality for you.
NASTY stuff.
What’s black and white and felt up all over?
Your MoM?
That’s the face of a man who has done pretty well for himself on this short run we call life.
Either he’s shrinking or he’s buying larger Larks.
There are maybe a dozen straight men in the world who could successfully pull off wearing that shirt.
Corey Feldman isn’t one of them.
I know. TomFrank and I have been wondering who the other 10 people are. We can scratch Feldman off that list.
I could have sworn this was that Vietnamese guy who did those infomercials back in the 90s on how to make millions by flipping real estate. “Do you think these girls like me? NO! They like my money!” That guy.
Gee, thanks. I don’t even have to watch the vid and I already have “come to my seminah!” playing relentlessly in my head.
A tip for Ms. Swift – when dating a Kennedy, make sure you do all the driving.
And take swimming lessons.
And fly commercial. And if you see a golf club, run. And don’t be moody or you might be lobotomized.
He should know this shot would be way artier if his penis was hanging out.
Driver: “Hit her in the face!”
MOO
Think I can see her vulva…
Not sure how she beats Miranda Kerr’s cameltoe to the final five, but whatever. At least photoboy isn’t using todays final five as an outlet for his A-Rod women fantasies.
Or Rita Rustic…
Worst word EVER!
But there’s a name it rhymes with…! :)
Michelle next realized the rest of the name “Rose Club” when someone hit her over the head with a bat.
I wonder how that break up song would sound like…
Under water, not very good I guess
Micheal’s Cum Catcher and the Butter Faces.
Worst escort service ever.
This is her best side.
She actually has a great rack too.
Five thumbs down? What? She doesn’t have a nice rack? We’re not in favor of racks? I think some people are still a little cranky from the Jeebus thread.
I would need a 2 foot dick extension to take her from behind
It must suck to have a tiny dick.
Says Chuck with an innie
One of those “likes” was mine.
Doing everything better than everyone else at all times can wear you out.
I regret that I can only give you one upthumb.
Agreed. Outstanding.
It’s his own fault I actually thought he looked like this. When was the last time he was in anything where you’d be bothered waiting for the screener?
All of the black guys on the internet just felt a disturbance in the force.
That’s not a moon….
She better stay out of Hawaii . We’d roast her at the luau if we were short of a pig
When she bends over it looks like the Saddle Road between Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa.