The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 8.14.12

August 14th, 2012 // 519 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that isn’t quite the behemoth that yesterday’s post was, but you probably missed that anyway on account of Katy Perry getting shitfaced and mooning an entire waterpark. Anyway, today we’ve got Jessie J subbing a guitar in place of a big black microphone, Brigitte Nielsen somehow stowed away in Stallone‘s luggage for The Expendables 2 press tour, and I continue my quest to always juxtapose Kim Kardashian‘s bag of chewed gum with an ass actually worthy of a feigned candid pose.

Speaking of asses, remember that chick from yesterday who was getting hers massaged by an aging Italian singer? She’s back in today’s Final Five,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Constantine Maroulis Laura Osnes Deborah Cox
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s like Weird Al’s bastard love child….

  2. Gwyneth Paltrow No Make Up Tired Looking
    Commented on this photo:

    Still trying to win a part in Contagion 2, I see!

  3. Nicki Minaj Huge Butt See Through Tights
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    You know how I know there’s something phony going on here? Her ass looks OK.

  4. Nicki Minaj Huge Butt See Through Tights
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s The Superficial: The Ass Edition. And I approve.

  5. Nicole Kidman Baby Bump
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Want me to spoil the twist ending? The “something kicking in my womb” turns out to be cancer.

  6. Michelle Rodriguez Nipple See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, how YOU doin’?

  7. Jean-Claude Van Damme
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Sly tell him Expendables 2 was literally a circle jerk?

  8. Ariane Bellamar Bikini
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Tranny Nanny? I’d watch that.

  9. Gwyneth Paltrow No Make Up Tired Looking
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Lindsey when you need her… 2 birds, 1 stone, people…

  10. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t you just want to cut that hair off?

  11. Gwyneth Paltrow No Make Up Tired Looking
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, you would be tired too if you spent the entire day healing the sick and turning water into wine.

  12. Michelle Rodriguez Nipple See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    What a chivalrous gentleman… ready to give a rose to a lady he fancies…

  13. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Suit
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    It took four hours of Shia shouting at a team of six Starbucks baristas before they finally got his order just right.

  14. Taylor Swift Bikini Top Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s wearing Marilyn Monroe’s old clothes. They don’t fit Taylor just right, do they?

  15. Jessie J Butt Cleavage Brian May Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
    galt
    Commented on this photo:

    Ready for her money shot…

  16. Michelle Rodriguez Nipple See Through Shirt
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    So, she’s got her rapey look down.

  17. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    Surplus Nick
    Commented on this photo:

    Sadly we laugh at him but he’ll be banging both those hos shortly.

  18. Taylor Swift Bikini Top Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Alex: The answer is 1937

    Me: When is the last time someone walked on a Kennedy property who wasn’t either a himbo or bimbo?

  19. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Kardashian posted this pic to Twitter, after first sending it to her photoshop team for ‘tweaking’ (August 12, 2012)

  20. Carrie Keagan Cleavage
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Cougar boobs.

  21. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    The ladies are realizing that standing next to the latest Kia at the auto show is better than this gig.

  22. Jessie J Butt Cleavage Brian May Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s good to see him putting that physics doctorate to use.
    This is a great photo. Both subjects look as if they are having a helluva fun time.

  23. AnnaLynne McCord Butt Tight Pants
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Wrong hand for the loser sign, dear.

  24. Michelle Rodriguez Nipple See Through Shirt
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Get it? It’s called the “Rose Club” and they gave me roses!!

    Also, I’m high.

  25. Tobey Maguire Derp Face
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “I thought it was just a fart.”

  26. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    No no no no no no no no NOOOO. I ordered soy milk.

  27. Verne Troyer Scooter LAX
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw, he’s got an iccle basket to curl up in and sleep.

    Or an up-turned stool, if you must.

  28. Nicki Minaj Huge Butt See Through Tights
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Nicki Minaj.
    Yes. It is.

  29. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Suit
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s as if someone took a small pale ape, shaved it some, stuffed it into a suit, and sent it off with a cup of banana pulp.

  30. Carrie Keagan Cleavage
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing purple has scared me that much since that Barney at my birthday party tried to molest me. And I’d still rather hang out with him.

  31. Gwyneth Paltrow No Make Up Tired Looking
    Commented on this photo:

    “People on ‘ludes should NOT drive….!”

  32. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Athr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is how real women are shaped…mmm

  33. Constantine Maroulis Laura Osnes Deborah Cox
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s black and white and felt up all over?

  34. Jessie J Butt Cleavage Brian May Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the face of a man who has done pretty well for himself on this short run we call life.

  35. Verne Troyer Scooter LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Either he’s shrinking or he’s buying larger Larks.

  36. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There are maybe a dozen straight men in the world who could successfully pull off wearing that shirt.
    Corey Feldman isn’t one of them.

  37. Taylor Swift Bikini Top Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    A tip for Ms. Swift – when dating a Kennedy, make sure you do all the driving.

  38. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    He should know this shot would be way artier if his penis was hanging out.

  39. Sylvester Stallone
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Driver: “Hit her in the face!”

  40. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    MOO

  41. Marica Pellegrinelli Bikini
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Think I can see her vulva…

  42. Michelle Rodriguez Nipple See Through Shirt
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Michelle next realized the rest of the name “Rose Club” when someone hit her over the head with a bat.

  43. Taylor Swift Bikini Top Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
    Dormant Canadian
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how that break up song would sound like…

  44. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Micheal’s Cum Catcher and the Butter Faces.

  45. Nicki Minaj Huge Butt See Through Tights
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is her best side.

  46. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Che Fong
    Commented on this photo:

    I would need a 2 foot dick extension to take her from behind

  47. Gwyneth Paltrow No Make Up Tired Looking
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Doing everything better than everyone else at all times can wear you out.

  48. Tobey Maguire Derp Face
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s his own fault I actually thought he looked like this. When was the last time he was in anything where you’d be bothered waiting for the screener?

  49. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    All of the black guys on the internet just felt a disturbance in the force.

  50. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Kono Kalakaua
    Commented on this photo:

    She better stay out of Hawaii . We’d roast her at the luau if we were short of a pig

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