The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 8.14.12

August 14th, 2012 // 519 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that isn’t quite the behemoth that yesterday’s post was, but you probably missed that anyway on account of Katy Perry getting shitfaced and mooning an entire waterpark. Anyway, today we’ve got Jessie J subbing a guitar in place of a big black microphone, Brigitte Nielsen somehow stowed away in Stallone‘s luggage for The Expendables 2 press tour, and I continue my quest to always juxtapose Kim Kardashian‘s bag of chewed gum with an ass actually worthy of a feigned candid pose.

Speaking of asses, remember that chick from yesterday who was getting hers massaged by an aging Italian singer? She’s back in today’s Final Five,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that really flattering?

  2. Jessie J Butt Cleavage Brian May Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
    mac
    Commented on this photo:

    remove the guitar and this would be a very different picture

  3. Mary-Louise Parker Blond Wig Cleavage Legs Miniskirt
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, that’s good looking for a woman who hasn’t had a period since the 90′s.

  4. Jean-Claude Van Damme
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, you’re gayer!

    Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, you’re gayer!

    Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, you’re gayer!

    Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, you’re gayer!

  5. Mary-Louise Parker Blond Wig Cleavage Legs Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    No, I DON’T know where Gilligan’s Island is!

  6. Jessie J Butt Cleavage Brian May Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Play all over my chest baby! I want to taste your play!

  7. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks great!!! Now all you cows say “moooo” on cue.

    • Anonymous

      You mean the photoshopper did great. Her ass or her legs really look like that.

      • Kojak

        Besides the fact that her butt and leg skin been design by Photoshop, she still NOT HOT!!!!!
        Her butt is ridiculously artificial, absolutely not harmonized with the rest of her body.
        It’s almost like cut and past a grandmother ass in a young body. Today she is probably regret about surgery. No one knows if she do liposuction in everything except the butt, or if she put silicon on that truck, but one thing is certain: now she is deformed.
        .
        .
        .
        MOOOOOOOOOOO

    • King Diamond

      Really? That looks great to you? An out of shape ass, that is that big because of a poor diet.

  8. Jean-Claude Van Damme
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a play about me banging every woman I’ve ever worked with. I call it “The Aristocrats.”

  9. Mary-Louise Parker Blond Wig Cleavage Legs Miniskirt
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “We need $50 in a hurry? I got this. Give me half an hour . . .”

  10. Mary-Louise Parker Blond Wig Cleavage Legs Miniskirt
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s no way to dress for a funeral.

  11. Jean-Claude Van Damme
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    “hahahahahahahah, he thinks we are laughing WITH him!” hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

  12. Jean-Claude Van Damme
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if his super muscle jaws get tired by the time he gets to the end of the line.

  13. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Suit
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Does not have the ears to wear his hair back like that.

  14. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Suit
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hipster Jesus hasn’t been this surprised since the Romans showed up.

  15. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep…The wrong Corey died.

  16. Gwyneth Paltrow No Make Up Tired Looking
    Cadillac Jack
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks sober…

  17. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    So ashley simpson is a whore how?!

  18. Jessie J Butt Cleavage Brian May Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, the maximum score was 14.0, but I had to penalize her a full point for no nip slip.

  19. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Liberace!

  20. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    mooooooooo

  21. Mary-Louise Parker Blond Wig Cleavage Legs Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF, does Zack Galifanakis have to be in EVERYTHING?????

  22. Carrie Keagan Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a middle aged Texas housewife?

  23. Jennifer Lawrence Cleavage Sports Bra Yoga Pants
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Good for her, working out the baby fat!

  24. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    No, really, I was popular once. Just ask your parents.

  25. Tobey Maguire Derp Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Derp!

  26. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Suit
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he took the buttons on that suit from my couch.

  27. Jean-Claude Van Damme
    Commented on this photo:

    HAHAHAHAHA I played a pretend soldier in Street Fighter and got to bang Kylie Minogue HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

  28. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Suit
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    You rarely see a bum in an impeccably tailored suit. BTW, you have to take the top off the cup for me to throw the quarter in there.

  29. Constantine Maroulis Laura Osnes Deborah Cox
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    From the caption, I would say the guy in the middle is named Laura.

  30. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    moooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

  31. Michelle Rodriguez Nipple See Through Shirt
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like a rose herself. You know, the way she flamboyantly shows off her sex parts.

  32. Corey Feldman See Through Shirt
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Not the see through shirt I was hoping for in that picture.

  33. Pippa Middleton Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nothing to see here”

  34. Taylor Swift Bikini Top Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she just begging to die young?

  35. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Not scene, six grateful children resting, out of the sunlight, in the shadow of her ass

    • Not shown: Twelve pots of coffees, three trips to Burger King, two Pizza Hut deliveries; 12 lines of coke; 5 migraines and the exhausted room of Photoshop experts after the all-nighter required to doctor this photo.

      • Snack pack

        Zoom in and the ‘shopped nature of this image is actually pretty obvious. I’m not sure they put that much effort in.

      • You don’t even have to zoom in, really. If you look at the demarcation between her lower body and the background, your eyes start to cross from the blurriness.

    • Crissy

      If I could I would thumb you down for the “not scene!”

  36. Nicki Minaj Huge Butt See Through Tights
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Mooooooooooooooo-er than Kim!!!

  37. AnnaLynne McCord Butt Tight Pants
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll talk to you later, okay? Right now, I’ve got to go not eat.

  38. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Not shown: six grateful children resting, out of the sunlight, in the shadow of her ass

  39. Sylvester Stallone
    Commented on this photo:

    “Please suh, may I ‘ave a ha’panny.

    • Frank Burns

      I was gonna say something like that about gruel laced with steroids, but I couldn’t pull it together.

  40. Constantine Maroulis Laura Osnes Deborah Cox
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone mislead this guy when they told him to use his “sexy pout” for ALL of his photos.

    • Snack pack

      Kinda like the single mega-douchebag look that Jaden Smith always sports. Someone probably told him he looks important, or superior, or smart when he looks like that.

  41. Tobey Maguire Derp Face
    Commented on this photo:

    How I ever bought into him playing spiderman is beyond me… I need help…

  42. Pippa Middleton Butt Tight Dress
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesnt look so great going, why don’t just show her coming?

  43. Constantine Maroulis Laura Osnes Deborah Cox
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I will be sawing one of these girls in half tonight. The other is my magician’s assistant.

  44. Constantine Maroulis Laura Osnes Deborah Cox
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Somehow I pictured a jazz club called Birdland being infinitely cooler than a greasy Greek dude and two lousy strippers.

  45. AnnaLynne McCord Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Give me a minute to blow this black guy and I’ll be right with you…

  46. Jennifer Lawrence Cleavage Sports Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m a thigh man myself. Speaking as such I approve

  47. Gwyneth Paltrow No Make Up Tired Looking
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what Gwyneth? I don’t really need that ride anymore. I’ll just ask Amanda Bynes.

  48. Nicole Kidman Baby Bump
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh dear…I shouldn’t have eaten that entire Lima bean!

  49. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Swimsuit
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    So THAT’S how she smuggled the cooler on to the beach.

  50. Jean-Claude Van Damme
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, I said my name is Kyle Minogue, not Kylie.”

Leave A Comment