Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that isn’t quite the behemoth that yesterday’s post was, but you probably missed that anyway on account of Katy Perry getting shitfaced and mooning an entire waterpark. Anyway, today we’ve got Jessie J subbing a guitar in place of a big black microphone, Brigitte Nielsen somehow stowed away in Stallone‘s luggage for The Expendables 2 press tour, and I continue my quest to always juxtapose Kim Kardashian‘s bag of chewed gum with an ass actually worthy of a feigned candid pose.
Speaking of asses, remember that chick from yesterday who was getting hers massaged by an aging Italian singer? She’s back in today’s Final Five,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Is that really flattering?
Yes
That 80 percent ass reduction Photoshop filter works miracles.
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i give up…
That’s okay, the rest of us gave up on you a long time ago.
remove the guitar and this would be a very different picture
Put a mustache kneeling man and this also gonna be very different.
Jesus, that’s good looking for a woman who hasn’t had a period since the 90′s.
You do realize she just turned 48?
He probably does, but also believes menopause starts at 35.
She has one hell of a hot Body
Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, you’re gayer!
Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, you’re gayer!
Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, you’re gayer!
Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, you’re gayer!
No, I DON’T know where Gilligan’s Island is!
Play all over my chest baby! I want to taste your play!
She looks great!!! Now all you cows say “moooo” on cue.
You mean the photoshopper did great. Her ass or her legs really look like that.
Besides the fact that her butt and leg skin been design by Photoshop, she still NOT HOT!!!!!
Her butt is ridiculously artificial, absolutely not harmonized with the rest of her body.
It’s almost like cut and past a grandmother ass in a young body. Today she is probably regret about surgery. No one knows if she do liposuction in everything except the butt, or if she put silicon on that truck, but one thing is certain: now she is deformed.
.
.
.
MOOOOOOOOOOO
Really? That looks great to you? An out of shape ass, that is that big because of a poor diet.
It’s a play about me banging every woman I’ve ever worked with. I call it “The Aristocrats.”
“We need $50 in a hurry? I got this. Give me half an hour . . .”
That’s no way to dress for a funeral.
“hahahahahahahah, he thinks we are laughing WITH him!” hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
I wonder if his super muscle jaws get tired by the time he gets to the end of the line.
Does not have the ears to wear his hair back like that.
Or the face.
Or the head.
Hipster Jesus hasn’t been this surprised since the Romans showed up.
I was getting crucified before it was cool.
Yep…The wrong Corey died.
Agreed. Corey Hart was the only one who deserved to live.
He wasn’t the only one who wore his sunglasses at night.
She looks sober…
So ashley simpson is a whore how?!
Now?
Huh?!
Well, the maximum score was 14.0, but I had to penalize her a full point for no nip slip.
Liberace!
Oh fuck that. Liberace had 10,000 times more style and panache. And class, let’s not forget class.
mooooooooo
WTF, does Zack Galifanakis have to be in EVERYTHING?????
Is this a middle aged Texas housewife?
You can tell by where she keeps her cigarettes.
That is the roughest looking 32-year-old I’ve ever seen–well, next to Lindsay Lohan several years ago, that is.
white girls typically look 10 years older than actual age.
Good for her, working out the baby fat!
No, really, I was popular once. Just ask your parents.
Derp!
Sparky, this is an intervention. You need to stop with the derp stuff. It’s always been stupid and it needs to stop. It’s like the college fratboy of comments. It stops. Today.
But it’s hard. He really looks like he’s saying “derp” in this photo.
It’s true, he really does!
It really applies in this case.
It’s the “FRIST!” of your generation.
Fratboy? I thought it was just some dumb teenager thing.
you probably didn’t like that guy that always posted ‘poo poo pee pee’ either. that was some funny stuff!
I showed this pic to a deaf friend who can read lips. He said that it’s definitely derp.
I think he took the buttons on that suit from my couch.
Now you know where all that missing spare change went.
HAHAHAHAHA I played a pretend soldier in Street Fighter and got to bang Kylie Minogue HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
You rarely see a bum in an impeccably tailored suit. BTW, you have to take the top off the cup for me to throw the quarter in there.
From the caption, I would say the guy in the middle is named Laura.
moooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
She’s like a rose herself. You know, the way she flamboyantly shows off her sex parts.
Not the see through shirt I was hoping for in that picture.
“Nothing to see here”
Is she just begging to die young?
Not scene, six grateful children resting, out of the sunlight, in the shadow of her ass
Not shown: Twelve pots of coffees, three trips to Burger King, two Pizza Hut deliveries; 12 lines of coke; 5 migraines and the exhausted room of Photoshop experts after the all-nighter required to doctor this photo.
Zoom in and the ‘shopped nature of this image is actually pretty obvious. I’m not sure they put that much effort in.
You don’t even have to zoom in, really. If you look at the demarcation between her lower body and the background, your eyes start to cross from the blurriness.
If I could I would thumb you down for the “not scene!”
Mooooooooooooooo-er than Kim!!!
Not even close. Nicki’s ass orbits Kim’s ass.
I’d give you an extra thrmbs-up for your name if I could.
I’ll talk to you later, okay? Right now, I’ve got to go not eat.
Not shown: six grateful children resting, out of the sunlight, in the shadow of her ass
“Please suh, may I ‘ave a ha’panny.
I was gonna say something like that about gruel laced with steroids, but I couldn’t pull it together.
Someone mislead this guy when they told him to use his “sexy pout” for ALL of his photos.
Kinda like the single mega-douchebag look that Jaden Smith always sports. Someone probably told him he looks important, or superior, or smart when he looks like that.
How I ever bought into him playing spiderman is beyond me… I need help…
She doesnt look so great going, why don’t just show her coming?
As in climaxing? That WOULD be awesome!!!
At least SOMEONE gets it!!!
I will be sawing one of these girls in half tonight. The other is my magician’s assistant.
Somehow I pictured a jazz club called Birdland being infinitely cooler than a greasy Greek dude and two lousy strippers.
Except for the fact that Deborah Cox is actually an accomplished singer.
Meh. We’re known by the company we keep.
I just love how 5 people gave this a thumbs down. Are you serious, people? Deborah is an accomplished singer, just like Fart said. She’s very talented. Gosh, I never thought I’d type “…just like Fart said.”
I agree, but you should probably thumbs-up him when you say that. I threw one in, too.
Give me a minute to blow this black guy and I’ll be right with you…
I’m a thigh man myself. Speaking as such I approve
You know what Gwyneth? I don’t really need that ride anymore. I’ll just ask Amanda Bynes.
Oh dear…I shouldn’t have eaten that entire Lima bean!
lol
So THAT’S how she smuggled the cooler on to the beach.
“No, I said my name is Kyle Minogue, not Kylie.”