The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 7.31.12

July 31st, 2012 // 481 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which is a little light either because of The Olympics or the cataclysmic failure of thousands of paparazzi camera lenses, having committed suicide knowing they’d never again snap anything as beautiful as Kate Middleton‘s butt. Probably that first thing, though. Anyway, today we’ve got the ongoing atrocity that is JWoww‘s face, Michael K. Williams doing (amazingly, might I add) what Penn Badgley always thinks he’s doing, and the sad reality that this guy is our generation’s action hero.

“Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker,” is something Jeremy Renner would only say if a male model walked on set dressed like a cowboy,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Bar Refaeli See Through Unitard Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Man up and show some tits.
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/31/tits-gtfo-188_126-188_126.jpg[/img]

  2. Salt-N-Pepa Cleavage
    Henry
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly weren’t checking their caloric intake.

  3. Michael K Williams Hat Suspenders
    Commented on this photo:

    All I’m hearing is, “shine your shoes, sir?”

  4. Sharni Vinson Butt Bikini Kellan Lutz
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yep, next time I’ve got to get me one with boobs…”

  5. Salt-N-Pepa Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Still would…Pu-Push it real good.

  6. JWoww Cleavage Tight Pants Bad Facial Plastic Surgery
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate her fucking no teeth smile.

  7. Jessica Chastain Panty Flash Uspkirt
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    Back the way you came, Ringwald.

  8. Tara Reid On Top Of Jedward
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy has to be thinking that the dumpster at a Red Lobster smells better.

  9. Rachel Weisz Cleavage Daniel Craig
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ugh. You still smell like old queen.”

  10. Michael K Williams Hat Suspenders
    Commented on this photo:

    I see trees of green
    Red roses too

  11. Jessica Chastain Panty Flash Uspkirt
    Diet Mountain Dew, Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Eleanor Rigby picks up her skirts on a street where the photogs have been, lives in a dream.
    Eleanor Rigby, wearing a thong that she keeps in the front of her drawer, who is it for?
    All the horny people–where do they all come from?
    All the horny people–where do they all belong?

  12. Jeremy Renner
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Renner is working to get that fart out.

  13. Cynthia Nixon Cleavage Short Hair
    Henry
    Commented on this photo:

    Just the epitome of grace and beauty.

  14. Michael K Williams Hat Suspenders
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Stop right now! You’re dangerously close to becoming a Will.i.am clone.

  15. Salt-N-Pepa Cleavage
    Diet Mountain Dew, Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    Push them real good–off a bridge.

  16. Rachel Weisz Cleavage Daniel Craig
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll never get British humor.

  17. Bar Refaeli See Through Unitard Twitter
    Mandy
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who this is, but her head looks way too big for her body. Not sure if it’s the angle or if she’s just too skinny?

  18. Tara Reid On Top Of Jedward
    Commented on this photo:

    And…..there goes her last bit of self respect.

  19. Jeremy Renner
    cardinal Ximenez
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s so un-action hero. Was Toby McGuire busy when they were casting for Bourne? He looks like he’d throw an iPhone at the bad CIA guys.

  20. Jeremy Renner
    Commented on this photo:

    I recognize that stance. My three year does it when he wets himself.

  21. Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know which is worse. That when I looked at the thumbnail I thought it was a picture of Octomom or that when I clicked on it, hoping I was wrong and it was someone other than Octomom, I was still vaguely disappointed that it was this creature.

  22. Kat Von D Bra Tank Top
    Henry
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like a shittier Gaga.

  23. Teri Hatcher
    Henry
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t smile.

  24. Fiona Apple Skinny Anorexic
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that’s a face that can slice through a pillowcase.

  25. Matt Damon Blond Wig Michael Douglas Sunglasses Liberace Movie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    They look like the “Dick in a Box” guys if there in the 70s not the 00s.

  26. Fiona Apple Skinny Anorexic
    cardinal Ximenez
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like all of those virginal village girls that Madonna harvests blood from.

  27. Kat Von D Bra Tank Top
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Wearing a German arm band. Of course.

  28. Tulisa Contostavlos Cleavage Bikini Cover
    Henry
    Commented on this photo:

    Hm. Wonder how she got her job.

  29. JWoww Cleavage Tight Pants Bad Facial Plastic Surgery
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    See the open car door? Pro tip: leaving smears of STD-infected woman goo on the seats are a perfectly effective theft deterrent.

  30. Cynthia Nixon Cleavage Short Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    NYC is so pretty this time of the year. It’s like a fucking painting.

  31. Salt-N-Pepa Cleavage
    cardinal Ximenez
    Commented on this photo:

    the only thing those trannies are pushing is their cocks between their thighs.

  32. Teri Hatcher
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait ’til they get a load of me!

  33. Rachel Weisz Cleavage Daniel Craig
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Give me your wife, you bastard! Oops, did I say that out loud?

  34. Jeremy Renner
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Have I misunderstood something here? THIS GUY took over the Bourne movie franchise from Matt Damon? He looks like a BBC comedy actor…this can’t be possible.

  35. Rachel Weisz Cleavage Daniel Craig
    Commented on this photo:

    Rachel Weisz is one of the most beautiful and talented actresses in the game. Daniel Craig is the most badass James Bond in history. I hope they last as a couple and make plenty babies.

    • Frank The Duck

      Yeah, real badass hahahaha they had to find another Aston Martin in QOS because he couldn’t drive a manual shift.. real badass..hahaha

      • Matey Perry

        That story was made up. Herrrrp a derrrrp. Pretty much everyone in the UK can drive stick especially someone his age. Nice try though. B- for effort.

    • tlmck

      Daniel Craig is a fine actor, but James Bond he ain’t.

  36. Kat Von D Bra Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Know what this chick needs. Another tattoo.

  37. Vanessa Hudgens Bra See Through Shirt Hat Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    LBFM.

  38. Sharni Vinson Butt Bikini Kellan Lutz
    Dirk Diggler
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who either of these people are, but that’s a great ass.

  39. Bar Refaeli See Through Unitard Twitter
    Mickey01232000
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes please.

  40. Jeremy Renner
    Commented on this photo:

    Despte how goofy-looking he is, he’s pretty badass. The Hurt Locker and The Avengers proved that.

    • jerseygirl71

      Also worth mentioning – The Town (great fucking movie) and the Jesse James flick with Brad Pitt. He is odd but a really good actor.

    • jeffiner

      i thought he sucked in the avengers. all he did was stand on one balcony and shoot arrows.

    • George Costanza

      He was totally miscast in the Avengers. Hawkeye is over 6 feet tall, not a 5’6″ midget who looks like a gay teenager.

      Hollywood is trying to force this little twerp down our throats (because he’s forcing producers cocks down his throat) as the new Tom Cruise, the original, homosexual, midget unbelievable action hero.

  41. Cynthia Nixon Cleavage Short Hair
    cardinal Ximenez
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s stomping on all those unfertilized eggs that are falling out of her womb.

  42. Jessica Chastain Panty Flash Uspkirt
    Commented on this photo:

    No underwear and a stronger breeze would have made this pic a keeper.

  43. Fiona Apple Skinny Anorexic
    Henry
    Commented on this photo:

    You hungry, girl?

  44. Tulisa Contostavlos Cleavage Bikini Cover
    Kurt Barlow
    Commented on this photo:

    The only video I’m gonna watch with Tulisa on her knees is the one where the penis is smacking her in the melon.

  45. Sharni Vinson Butt Bikini Kellan Lutz
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    So much worse from the front. If you can even imagine.

  46. Fiona Apple Skinny Anorexic
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s been over ten years since I’ve seen this woman. She’s looking good. She always looked good.

  47. Bar Refaeli See Through Unitard Twitter
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Hard face, smooth body!

  48. Tara Reid On Top Of Jedward
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess when your tits scare guys to death you have to know CPR.

  49. Jessica Hart Nipples See Through Shirt
    cardinal Ximenez
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank you thin, revealing clothing. I’ve seen enough porn to exactly match that body now and fill in the rest of the details. I will dutifully toss some swimmers at my keyboard in her honor.

    Actually, I’ve seen every porn. I’ve forgotten more porn than Xhamster streams in a year. True story.

  50. Matt Damon Blond Wig Michael Douglas Sunglasses Liberace Movie Set
    Giorgio
    Commented on this photo:

    Filming Gay version of Starsky and Hutch.

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