Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which is coming at you early so Fish and I can catch The Amazing Spider-Man (He claims there’ll be a review tonight.). And in before you can all yell out, “HURR DURR GAY,” let me tell you that today’s gallery presupposes your conclusion starting here, followed here and ending here.
Now, quickly, has anyone seen my jeans with the holes cut in the pocket? He’ll be here any minute!
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Even with that creepy 70s Porn ‘stache, I’d still hit it.
In the jaw?
Welcome Madam AssChest, we have been expecting you!
no pictures of that ugly bitch in a bikini today?
waiting for an orca to come right up on the beach and swallow these two blonde bitches whole.
When did Lenny Kravitz and Howard Stern start dating?
Why does that jacket hate America?
For burning or itching, but mainly burning, stay the fuck away from this thing.
Ayyyyyy! Mexican food!!! It burns, it burns!!!!
Number of interceptions thrown this morning.
He looks “LOST”
Don’t hit submit…don’t hit submit…
Shit.
Mwuahahahahaha!!!
The absolutely wrongest person to ask to pee on the fire to help put it out.
Actually, she peed and the fire shot out of her.
Looks like number one but plays like number two.
Shouldn’t they keep that thing locked away.
Unfortunately, due to certain prejudices, they can only perform this act in 7 of the 50 states.
I guess this is the Jersey version of that Avengers poster with Black Widow.
Please make sure you specify New Jersey.. I don’t want the little Island where I live (which is also called Jersey – Old Jersey, if you will!) being associated with this fire peeing creature.
“I know, right? It just makes no sense! I can’t figure out why the keep sticking me in movies either.”
Look, if I pull my forehead up, my chin gets shorter.
Her hair looks like a wig a homeless crackhead wouldn’t even touch, fuck.
What band was he in? Matchbox 20 or Nickelback?
I get them all confused.
I think it was the Naked Brothers Band.
Exactly like that cute Coppertone ad…only with a whore.
One I’d gladly do for the team!
If only that dog would quit messing around and rip her shorts off…
“Exactly”? Then where’s the bare ass shot?
Y’know, I remember way back when thinking to myself, “These Coppertone ads could really use a whore.” Then I’d watch a commercial for Folgers and think to myself, “These Folgers commercials could really use a whore.” Then I’d see a commercial for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and think to myself…
and it’s iveski FTW!
You got really fat, so you chose that outfit? Interesting.
He grew into it. Literally.
“Whoa! When we told you that you should consider hormone therapy we meant estrogen, not testosterone.”
You just know this woman(?) gets up in the morning, trowels on 14 pounds of makeup, checks herself in the mirror, says “I look good”, winks at herself and heads out for the day
Why don’t these places just ask if you want chocolate on your cappuccino?
Its funny that she dresses like that just to piss her controlling father off.
What instrument is Lenny play… oh.. never mind
skinflute?
Are you sure this isn’t Mark Cuban’s double?
She just seems so unhappy as a lesbian. Michelle, have you considered the therapeutic powers of a good, deep dickin’?
Again, I volunteer to take her on for the team
You’re really in the patriotic spirit. Bless you son.
Also, if you are unable to perform your duties, I will go in your stead.
USA ! USA ! USA !
That woman would peg you to fucking pieces, Fletch.
That may be true. But I’d rather go out that way than to wake up in the middle with Donatella Versace standing above me with a sickle.
crap, don’t hit send.
*middle of the night
I also volunteer to spend the night with her. I get the feeling she may come at me with a knife afterwards but I don’t care.
In all fairness, most lesbians look kind of pissed off.
Probably because the restraining order specifically states to keep your ladder off their window
Macaulay Culkin is a time traveller.
damn you, that’s exactly where i was going.
You’ll have to get up pretty early in the afternoon to beat me to the obvious jokes.
I bow before you.
Also, is that Bon Iver opening his door ?
OK, everybody. Time to go home. We have our winner.
But where’s the TARDIS?
Some oompa loompa’s just want to watch the world burn…
Jesus, you quit early.
I’ve seen that smirk before. Has anyone seen Bill Clinton lately?
AIDS boat! AIDS boat!
Suddenly I’m hungry for lemon meringue
Girlfriend….riiiiiiight.
I saw him at a George Michael concert in Vegas.
“Meh, I’d do her”
At first glance, I thought it was a remake of “Carrie” (I’m not even going to put any punctuation at the end of this)
.
People who need a shovel and a hand truck of 2×4′s to make a beach fire, do not know how to live.
Even the Joker looked at that and said it was too extreme.
Her implants are outside?
“How come I’m always typecast as the angry, Mexican military chick?”
He just asked Siri where he’s going
I thought you said “Suri” when I first read it and thought, “wow she really is Rosemary’s baby.”
The lunatics are in my head
Ok seriously? Did she start sacrificing small children to rejuvenate herself? Or did Photoshop manage to start working in real life?
Dude, I know !
Or maybe just the fact that she’s covered up more than normal ?
The correct answer is a little from Column A (sacrificing children) and a little from Column B (covered up more than usual).
At her age, clothing can be your friend.
Wow…it is really hard typing with just one hand right now….what? I had an itch. What did you think I was doing?
Good god, this chick’s face is a train wreck.
i was thinking the EXACT same thing. she looks like bob saget in that picture, only there’s nothing funny about this home video.
You two likely have never been laid in your life.
I’ll give him props for trying, at least. Sure as hell is in better shape than me.
She looks like a woman who turned herself into a man and then decided she didn’t like that so went back to being a woman.
Show us your hooch again! It’s the only reason you’re a “movie star”.
It’s nice that he’s married a woman who has more in common with his daughter than with him.
Everytime I see her, I miss Boy Meets World.
If you thought old people making you look at their slides was bad