Welcome to Tuesday’s slightly smallish The Crap We Missed, but that doesn’t matter because its got a great sense of humor, right gals? Anyway, today we found out that Akon‘s penis was Gallagher this whole time, Nike is ready to reconsider Joe Paterno‘s celebrity endorsement, what a conversation about possibly losing the election is like when Obama & Biden have it, and see if you can pick out who got the best seat on Elle Macpherson‘s boat.
I know the big black microphone joke is played out, but Jesus Christ, Kevin Bacon, you left me no choice,
- Photo Boy
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Woe betides any airborne insect that flies past that mouth.
Whoa! One of my favorite bands just got….. um, favoriter.
P.S. Thank you, pokey fairy.
*pffffft*
“How YOU doin’?”
Leave it to Thor to give someone the first-ever through-the-pants shocker.
Somewhere Reggie Bush and Kris Humphries are racing to their phones.
IBS must be acting up
Hayden Panettiere called. She wants her tits back. And her hair. And her stupid-ass expression.
I love it when actresses chop off their hair for a role then overcompensate by showing their tits.
Y SO SRS?
Ah, crap. Sorry hmna.
never drink a gallon of iced tea before a concert.
It must be that “get the fuck off the stage” in French sounds a lot like “spray us with water” in English.
So the old guy magnet is now Elle MacPherson?
All you assholes made fun of him for being skinny and bitched how he wasn’t funny any more, and now he’s putting the weight back on so he can be hilarious and entertain you, and now you make fun of him for that !
He’s not getting fatter, he’s getting funnier.
He was never funny, but at least he isn’t trying to wear skinny jeans anymore.
really, there just wasn’t enough pants
Nah, he’s just getting fatter.
Almost offensively white, getting more feminine every day, grabbing his crotch and singing far too high for anyone claiming to have testicles… are we sure Michael Jackson hasn’t possessed him like Ike in that episode of South Park.
Hoping to capitalize on the buzz surrounding the latest Batman movie, the Heath Ledger estate rolls out it’s Joker line of women’s clothing.
He sings out of his third eye. Very impressive.
Damn! Why won’t this site let me rate the third eye comment higher? Brilliant!
Seriously, I’d have genetic testing done if i was him. Her. Whatever.
It’s always nice to see today’s leaders teaching our young black men financial and personal responsibility.
After November, they’ll both have a lot of time to go to basketball games together.
Turkey’s done!
“Hahaha, and then Cruise tries to convince people he’s dating this Olga chick from his movie.”
Poor girl. I hope she gets her spinal deformity taken care of. But good for her for keeping a brave face.
I got the fucked-over-by-Bernie-Madoff-because-I-trusted-my-stupid-bitch-wife-and-her-jew-friends bluuueeeeesss.
Anti-semitism! Hilarious! *rolls my eyes*
Nice sandals and socks. Is he German?
She must really be lonely while Portia is off filming Arrested Development
That looks like it hurts
‘It was Paul’s afternoon to appear before the faculty of the Pittsburgh High School to account for his various misdemeanors.’
One day I’ll be a real boy!
Dude you look like a douche, roll your pants legs up 2 more inches.
I’ll give her an “8″…..will always give extra credit for no tats & natural breasts.
Just don’t say “You’re an 8.” That’s reserved for Kim Kardashian.
“If you had bigger tits, you’d be…”
Post waxing itch.
Nice to see that supermodels from the 90s found a niche after all… high-end escorts ! Nice!
“I’m doing the yoga now. My daddy don’t want me doin’ no Pilates nomore, cuz he killed Jesus.”
this is glorious.
This is a thumbs up. Damn it Superficial, fix the thumbs up/down buttons.
That is fucking funny! Well played, indeed.
LMAO!
There followed a five minute window in which any one who understood the jury system could have hit him with a bottle.
Hey remember that time we got drunk and promised everyone we would close Guantanamo Bay and start respecting the 4th Amendment? *Shit* man, that was some good whiskey!
I’m still bitter about the lack of coverage of “Red, White and Boobs” event from earlier this month.
“Just ’cause you pour syrup on something doesn’t make it pancakes”
Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter “S”
Tip for the ladies: all men everywhere hate this kind of haircut on a woman.
Agreed. Long hair all the way. However the one and ONLY exceptions still remains; Halle Berry. She looks BETTER with short hair and yes it defies logic and explanantion.
Note to my fellow ladies the way to be happy in this life is to get it through your heads that you are not and will never be the exception.
1.You can’t change the bad boy
2.You will not look good with short hair
3.You will eventually get fat if you eat like a pig no matter what you look like now
4.You can’t pull off high fashion, even the models look like shit in it so don’t bother
Short hair looks great on women who have attractive facial features that don’t need to be framed by hair. Charlize Theron is another classic example of an actress who looks better with short hair. Long hair on her and Halle makes them look ordinary. Hathaway looks better with longer hair but she’s not too bad.
I don’t want to know how she got those scars.
Miley subconsciously felt the older Hemsworth grope his lasses ass, and is now looking for his brother to demand he do the same to hers.
And then I says to the guy that played Ross, and the Chandler guy, don’t you worry about Friends ending…we’re going to be so successful after this, we won’t even miss the show!
Those are some nice singing tits! woah!
What kind of adult needs both hands on an escalator?
Well, at least he’s trying to keep one hand clean.
One who is thoroughly hammered!
Let me guess, it’s a gripping drama with complex characters, clever plot development, and a powerful premise and setting?
No? It’s a piece of shit romantic comedy for The Hallmark Channel that has the exact same script as the last 284 Hallmark movies? Well, that’ll work too I guess.
I think I just Marc Anthonied in my pants.
In every millionth box of Viagra there’s a golden ticket.
She’s dressed like trailer trash. Are we sure this isn’t the other Hemsworth with Miley?
“Why sure I love you for your brains and personality. Why do you ask?”
Roger Sterling’s latest LSD trip just got a whoooole lot more interesting.