The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 7.17.12

July 17th, 2012 // 548 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s slightly smallish The Crap We Missed, but that doesn’t matter because its got a great sense of humor, right gals? Anyway, today we found out that Akon‘s penis was Gallagher this whole time, Nike is ready to reconsider Joe Paterno‘s celebrity endorsement, what a conversation about possibly losing the election is like when Obama & Biden have it, and see if you can pick out who got the best seat on Elle Macpherson‘s boat.

I know the big black microphone joke is played out, but Jesus Christ, Kevin Bacon, you left me no choice,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Bethenny Frankel
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Woe betides any airborne insect that flies past that mouth.

  2. American Orchestra Pink Martini Singer Nipples Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa! One of my favorite bands just got….. um, favoriter.

    P.S. Thank you, pokey fairy.

  3. Matt LeBlanc Ali Larter Tandem Bike Lovesick Set
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    *pffffft*

    “How YOU doin’?”

  4. Chris Hemsworth Elsa Pataky Butt Grab
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Leave it to Thor to give someone the first-ever through-the-pants shocker.

  5. Myra Veronica Butt Tight Dress
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere Reggie Bush and Kris Humphries are racing to their phones.

  6. Jennifer Lopez
    jim
    Commented on this photo:

    IBS must be acting up

  7. Miley Cyrus Cleavage Yoga Pants
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Hayden Panettiere called. She wants her tits back. And her hair. And her stupid-ass expression.

  8. Anne Hathaway Cleavage Short Hair Dark Knight Rises Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I love it when actresses chop off their hair for a role then overcompensate by showing their tits.

  9. Bethenny Frankel
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Y SO SRS?

  10. Akon Spraying Champagne
    Commented on this photo:

    never drink a gallon of iced tea before a concert.

  11. Akon Spraying Champagne
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    It must be that “get the fuck off the stage” in French sounds a lot like “spray us with water” in English.

  12. Elle Macpherson Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    So the old guy magnet is now Elle MacPherson?

  13. Jonah Hill Workout Clothes Socks Sandals
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    All you assholes made fun of him for being skinny and bitched how he wasn’t funny any more, and now he’s putting the weight back on so he can be hilarious and entertain you, and now you make fun of him for that !
    He’s not getting fatter, he’s getting funnier.

  14. Justin Bieber Crotch Grab
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Almost offensively white, getting more feminine every day, grabbing his crotch and singing far too high for anyone claiming to have testicles… are we sure Michael Jackson hasn’t possessed him like Ike in that episode of South Park.

  15. Bethenny Frankel
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Hoping to capitalize on the buzz surrounding the latest Batman movie, the Heath Ledger estate rolls out it’s Joker line of women’s clothing.

  16. Kevin Bacon Comic Con
    Commented on this photo:

    He sings out of his third eye. Very impressive.

  17. Justin Bieber Crotch Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, I’d have genetic testing done if i was him. Her. Whatever.

  18. Akon Spraying Champagne
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s always nice to see today’s leaders teaching our young black men financial and personal responsibility.

  19. President Barack Obama Vice President Joe Biden
    Commented on this photo:

    After November, they’ll both have a lot of time to go to basketball games together.

  20. American Orchestra Pink Martini Singer Nipples Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Turkey’s done!

  21. President Barack Obama Vice President Joe Biden
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hahaha, and then Cruise tries to convince people he’s dating this Olga chick from his movie.”

  22. Myra Veronica Butt Tight Dress
    K-Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor girl. I hope she gets her spinal deformity taken care of. But good for her for keeping a brave face.

  23. Kevin Bacon Comic Con
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I got the fucked-over-by-Bernie-Madoff-because-I-trusted-my-stupid-bitch-wife-and-her-jew-friends bluuueeeeesss.

  24. Jonah Hill Workout Clothes Socks Sandals
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice sandals and socks. Is he German?

  25. Justin Bieber Crotch Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    She must really be lonely while Portia is off filming Arrested Development

  26. Myra Veronica Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks like it hurts

  27. Anne Hathaway Cleavage Short Hair Dark Knight Rises Premiere
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘It was Paul’s afternoon to appear before the faculty of the Pittsburgh High School to account for his various misdemeanors.’

  28. Justin Bieber Crotch Grab
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    One day I’ll be a real boy!

  29. Penn Badgley Deep V Popped Collar Chest Hair Rolled Up Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude you look like a douche, roll your pants legs up 2 more inches.

  30. Anna Safronick Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll give her an “8″…..will always give extra credit for no tats & natural breasts.

  31. Jennifer Lopez
    Commented on this photo:

    Post waxing itch.

  32. Elle Macpherson Butt Bikini
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see that supermodels from the 90s found a niche after all… high-end escorts ! Nice!

  33. Miley Cyrus Cleavage Yoga Pants
    K-Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m doing the yoga now. My daddy don’t want me doin’ no Pilates nomore, cuz he killed Jesus.”

  34. Akon Spraying Champagne
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    There followed a five minute window in which any one who understood the jury system could have hit him with a bottle.

  35. President Barack Obama Vice President Joe Biden
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey remember that time we got drunk and promised everyone we would close Guantanamo Bay and start respecting the 4th Amendment? *Shit* man, that was some good whiskey!

  36. Mary Carey Lopsided Cleavage
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m still bitter about the lack of coverage of “Red, White and Boobs” event from earlier this month.

  37. Samuel L. Jackson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just ’cause you pour syrup on something doesn’t make it pancakes”

  38. Myra Veronica Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter “S”

  39. Anne Hathaway Cleavage Short Hair Dark Knight Rises Premiere
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Tip for the ladies: all men everywhere hate this kind of haircut on a woman.

    • suckmyladydick

      Agreed. Long hair all the way. However the one and ONLY exceptions still remains; Halle Berry. She looks BETTER with short hair and yes it defies logic and explanantion.

      Note to my fellow ladies the way to be happy in this life is to get it through your heads that you are not and will never be the exception.

      1.You can’t change the bad boy
      2.You will not look good with short hair
      3.You will eventually get fat if you eat like a pig no matter what you look like now
      4.You can’t pull off high fashion, even the models look like shit in it so don’t bother

      • Mike Walker

        Short hair looks great on women who have attractive facial features that don’t need to be framed by hair. Charlize Theron is another classic example of an actress who looks better with short hair. Long hair on her and Halle makes them look ordinary. Hathaway looks better with longer hair but she’s not too bad.

  40. Bethenny Frankel
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t want to know how she got those scars.

  41. Miley Cyrus Cleavage Yoga Pants
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    Miley subconsciously felt the older Hemsworth grope his lasses ass, and is now looking for his brother to demand he do the same to hers.

  42. Matt LeBlanc Ali Larter Tandem Bike Lovesick Set
    Commented on this photo:

    And then I says to the guy that played Ross, and the Chandler guy, don’t you worry about Friends ending…we’re going to be so successful after this, we won’t even miss the show!

  43. American Orchestra Pink Martini Singer Nipples Cleavage
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are some nice singing tits! woah!

  44. Jonah Hill Workout Clothes Socks Sandals
    RobN
    Commented on this photo:

    What kind of adult needs both hands on an escalator?

  45. Matt LeBlanc Ali Larter Tandem Bike Lovesick Set
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me guess, it’s a gripping drama with complex characters, clever plot development, and a powerful premise and setting?

    No? It’s a piece of shit romantic comedy for The Hallmark Channel that has the exact same script as the last 284 Hallmark movies? Well, that’ll work too I guess.

  46. Jennifer Lopez
    Mike701
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I just Marc Anthonied in my pants.

  47. Elle Macpherson Butt Bikini
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    In every millionth box of Viagra there’s a golden ticket.

  48. Chris Hemsworth Elsa Pataky Butt Grab
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s dressed like trailer trash. Are we sure this isn’t the other Hemsworth with Miley?

  49. Chris Hemsworth Elsa Pataky Butt Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why sure I love you for your brains and personality. Why do you ask?”

  50. Elle Macpherson Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Roger Sterling’s latest LSD trip just got a whoooole lot more interesting.

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