Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that sadly fails to replicate yesterday’s butt blitz but don’t worry, there’s still plenty of “That person is still alive?” and “I’d pee in her butt.” material in here for you to anonymously keyboard hate babies into. Starting with Vanessa Paradis who still hasn’t learned that closed mouth smiling could have saved her relationship, Lou Diamond Phillips who really could have waited until Will.i.am came around with his valet ticket before apologizing for that dent, Channing Tatum‘s thinning hair which won’t at all stop Fish and I your wife from blasting one out to his assless chap dancing and finally, the upsetting realization of what a sexually embarrassing hell Melanie Griffith‘s life has been ever since those goddamn Shrek movies came out.
The Naked Cowgirl was almost your Final Five. Almost,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN
I need her to join my naked posse.
I’m honestly not sure which one is Melanie.
jesus…..i couldve gone to spain and photographed a better ass in a retirement home…
Turn. Cocoon. Off.
“OOOOO SOOOOOOOO LO MI-OOOOOOOO”
I don’t know what she does, but I like the way she does it.
She always looks like she’s trying to hold back a shit.
What’s the matter golddigger? Couldn’t find a young, sane, celebrity to fuck?
It was love at first neigh.
its always the people you DONT wanna see naked
Mr. Hoffman is trying the new Hollywood stay in shape secret of eating nothing but soup while doing crunches.
His face is taking up his whole head. Seriously, where’s his brain go?
If you want me to sign it Catherine Tyldesley, then you’re going to have to spell Catherine Tyldesley.
Tell your Fortune? Your ass is going to outlast you by several millenia,,,,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWeezUxIzaE
And the entire crowd was entertained, except for older people, younger people, straight people, gay people, men, women, humans, and animals.
The pylons, however, were totally cool with it.
It’s time for a diaper change.
Nothingness.
Paz de la Huerta = the poor man’s this
The thumbnail looked like Dennis Rodman.
That’s weird. I thought it was Minnie Pearl.
Everytime I see him I think of Cheers.
“I’m not a sailor–I’m captain!”
Melanie Griffith doesn’t believe in artificial flowers?
“My bigboy clothes are in the wash”
Do yourselves a favor people — shut up and go watch Girl on the Bridge. If you still want to talk smack you can at least rest certain that you have horrible, horrible taste in women.
Finally. Someone else here ♥’s The Girl on the Bridge. I was beginning to think I was all alone in the world.
That’s right, thumb me down. Thumb me down for liking a French movie.
Welcome to The Superficial, Mr. Depp.
CSI: Windsor
Women this size should never wear their hair in a Sumo bun.
OMG I almost peed on myself.
I suspect you’d have a lot more thumbs up but the buttons aren’t working at the moment.
Buseyism #882
Fart
Fingers Are Rectal Triggers!
“So that’s four shrimp cocktails, two New Yorks medium and two Polynesian Chickens, have I got that right?”
Makes me want to take up skiing.
Makes me want to take up anal!
Baby Huey loves to get out every once in a while to eat fresh soup.
I’m *telling* you she is Madonna & Sandra Bernhard’s love child.
Surprise buttsects? I don’t mind if you do!
Kristen Wig does the best Drew Barrymore impression.
Kristen Wiig does the best everything.
You’d never see Alec Baldwin and his daughter sharing a set of dentures
Needs more makeup.
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/10/1339604779167-340_425.jpg[/img]
I was about to write Tales from the Crypt! You read my mind!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Despite having already heard Mrs. Reiner’s despicable retelling of The Aristocrats a thousand times, Billy and Carl were forced to endure it once again.
I wont lie, she looks good in this photo
Just got cast in that Chaz Bono biopic
As the before or after?
Hollywood Geriatric Convention.
“Yes, yes, I believe you when you say it’s been cured. But of what, I ask?”
Jessica Simpson is bigger than Drew in her 3rd trimester.
Joey Pants and Daniella Teeth.
She makes me feel great about my body.
Ha! Her ass even causes people to drive on the wrong side of the road to have a look! Wait a minute…
There’s a treasure map on her thigh.
Moo muthaf*cka Moo!
Who new Lambo made a one ton chassis?
So much for the diet.
“And this is how I slapped my wife…”
How sweet! Lindsay is having her Sweet 16 party…for the 13 time.
Continuing his habit of making horrible career moves, now Josh Hartnett is actually trying copy Ashton Kutcher.
Do you mean the Ashton Kutcher who, according to Forbes, is worth just under $100 million? That loser?
Money now makes you LESS of an asshat?
I didn’t say he wasn’t an asshat, the original comment referred to his career sense. Once you’ve made $100 million, I think your career sense is probably doing just fine.
Jeesh Ashton. Settle down.