The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 7.10.12

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that sadly fails to replicate yesterday’s butt blitz but don’t worry, there’s still plenty of “That person is still alive?” and “I’d pee in her butt.” material in here for you to anonymously keyboard hate babies into. Starting with Vanessa Paradis who still hasn’t learned that closed mouth smiling could have saved her relationship, Lou Diamond Phillips who really could have waited until came around with his valet ticket before apologizing for that dent, Channing Tatum’s thinning hair which won’t at all stop Fish and I your wife from blasting one out to his assless chap dancing and finally, the upsetting realization of what a sexually embarrassing hell Melanie Griffith’s life has been ever since those goddamn Shrek movies came out.

The Naked Cowgirl was almost your Final Five. Almost,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN