The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 7.1.14

July 1st, 2014 // 423 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, a surprisingly large selection considering we’re days away from a major holiday weekend and the paparazzi generally bail early because all the good seats for Hell’s fireworks get claimed quick. So anyway, I led with Kelly Brook again because she’s naked and you guys don’t care if said nakedness happened to occur over a decade ago. Then I sprinkled in a little shit-housed Kiefer Sutherland being dragged from a car into his hotel, and Zachery Ty Bryan‘s bloated jowls and pinged out pupils because celebrity drug addiction will never not be funny to me.

Oh yeah, and Monica Lewinsky‘s in here. Wearing a dress. Cue stain jokes in 3..2..1..

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Joan Rivers Drinking Wine At Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus – What do her eyes look like when they are closed??

  2. Dolph Lundgren Fresh Pepper Grinder
    Commented on this photo:

    Dolph has a master’s degree in chemical engineering, speaks five languages fluently, has a genius IQ, and still looks that good in his middle age.

    So fuck you haters.

  3. Eva Amurri Martino Pregnant Belly Tight Minidress Tammy Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    ruined.

  4. Sir Richard Branson Laughing Hysterically Daughter Holly Branson Wimbledon Tennis Championships Royal Box Seats
    Commented on this photo:

    “Only have to pretend he’s funny for a while longer”

  5. Ashley Benson Cleavage Bikini Shay Mitchell Instagram
    Jim
    Commented on this photo:

    Umm… who is she?

  6. Miley Cyrus Bikini Floating On Innertube Pool Instagram
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s being swallowed by a giant yellow Kraken anus.

  7. Mark Wahlberg V Neck Shirt Beaded Necklace
    Commented on this photo:

    Caption: Mark Wahlberg explains to German fan how Wahlberg would have won WW II single-handed:

    “If Hitler threatened my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in the Reichschancellor’s office and then me saying, ‘OK, the war is over and Hitler is dead, don’t worry.’”

  8. Sir Richard Branson Laughing Hysterically Daughter Holly Branson Wimbledon Tennis Championships Royal Box Seats
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wash my own dishes??!!” “Dear girl…I haven’t even used a plate in 10 years. My food is spoon fed to me by a chimp I paid very much to train. Wash my own dishes…I needed a good laugh today.”

  9. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra Wrinkly Old Lady Arm
    Jim
    Commented on this photo:

    I always wondered what happened to the Crypt Keeper.

  10. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra Wrinkly Old Lady Arm
    Commented on this photo:

    *perish

  11. John Ratzenberger Maroon Vest America Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Little-known fact: The vest was invented by the Venetians during the Italian Renaissance in order to attract the interest of ladies, which is where we derive the term “vested interest”.

  12. Michael Caine Youth Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “You were supposed to take the bloody condom wrapper off!”

  13. Helen Hunt Bikini Sunscreen On Face
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Brains…

  14. Diane Kruger Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello? Have you seen my boobs? I can’t find ‘em anywhere.

  15. Kelly Brook Nude Buttcrack Sideboob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of like a rock band that keeps putting out greatest hits Albums.

  16. David Arquette Fat Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not often David’s outfit is beaten.

  17. Eva Amurri Martino Pregnant Belly Tight Minidress Tammy Premiere
    Rico Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Soon her tits will be as big and saggy as her mothers.

  18. Kiefer Sutherland Drunkenly Pulled Out Of Car
    Commented on this photo:

    DAMN IT!!

  19. Juno Temple Im All Wet Shirt Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe Judge Doom is actually a toon!

  20. Joan Rivers Drinking Wine At Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Is the wine vinegary or does she always look like that?

  21. Stacey Dash America Premiere
    Rico Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Best looking black chick ever. Too bad she is a republican lackey now. The fact that she showed up to a premiere of “America” says it all.

  22. Joan Rivers Drinking Wine At Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit it just see if she would survive

  23. Eva Amurri Martino Pregnant Belly Tight Minidress Tammy Premiere
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she got in the spirit of things even though someone misspelled ‘Tummy’.

  24. Juno Temple Im All Wet Shirt Legs Short Shorts
    jd
    Commented on this photo:

    Jaco?
    I thought they went bankrupt back in 1988.

  25. Prince Charles Cnwd Food Production Company Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    Chaz hangin’ with his crew.

  26. Jude Law Smelling Johnnie Walker Blue Label Gentleman's Wager
    Commented on this photo:

    “When you are a balding, middle age actor who wants to bang his kids nanny, use Jonnie Walker to impair her better judgment.”

  27. Helen Hunt Bikini Sunscreen On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    If I remember Deep Space Nine right, the female Founder was never on Earth. Is this a new story?

  28. Kiefer Sutherland Drunkenly Pulled Out Of Car
    Commented on this photo:

    “Heyyyy you guys can’t do this to meeee….don’tcha know my Dad is…is the Prezdent of PANEM? So fuuuuck you.”

  29. Kelly Brook Nude Buttcrack Sideboob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Please refer to my Kelly Brook post from yesterday…

  30. Monica Lewinsky The Masterpiece Marie Curie Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Thanks to Bill Clinton, her entire life is reduced to a single joke on an endless Groundhog Day-like loop.

    Well, life isn’t fair.

    Did I mention I despise the Clintons? It was Clinton who got rid of Glass-Steagall, which led to the Great Depression of 2009 (and yes, that’s what this is, a depression). You Americans have got rocks in your head if you allow him or his clueless wife within a thousand metres of the White House again.

  31. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra Wrinkly Old Lady Arm
    Commented on this photo:

    This is actually Paris Hilton after exposure to Madonna.

  32. Jack Osbourne Gay Moustache Silver Silk Shirt Lisa Stelly
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he is taking her to a photo shoot to participate in some classy nudes with slight to moderate penetration.

  33. Zachery Ty Bryan Fat Jowls Tiny Pupils America Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, have you not heard?
    It was my understanding that everyone had heard.

    A-well-a, everybody’s heard about the bird
    Bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, don’t you know about the bird
    Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a
    A-well-a, everybody’s heard about the bird
    Bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
    A-well-a, don’t you know about the bird
    Well, everybody’s talking about the bird
    A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word

  34. Joan Rivers Drinking Wine At Book Signing
    Joan Rivers
    Commented on this photo:

    “My doctor asked for a urine sample.
    I said ‘Sure, as soon I get back from this Barnes & Noble event.’”

  35. Mark Wahlberg V Neck Shirt Beaded Necklace
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr. Wahlberg, it’s my mother…she wants to say “Hi”.”

  36. Joe Jonas Holding Hands With Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Caption: Due to a rip in the timespace continuum, Joe Jonas is able to walk alongside Joe Jonas circa 2024.

  37. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra Wrinkly Old Lady Arm
    Commented on this photo:

    “When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not, hmmm? mmmm.”

    Yeah I’m an asshole for that joke. She still looks better than most women half her age.

  38. John Ratzenberger Maroon Vest America Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “You love my chicken…what the fuck is that suppose to mean?”

  39. Monica Lewinsky The Masterpiece Marie Curie Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She lost weight. Must be the lack of protein shots.

  40. Jude Law Smelling Johnnie Walker Blue Label Gentleman's Wager
    Commented on this photo:

    Dos Equis light – The least interesting man in the world.

  41. Dolph Lundgren Fresh Pepper Grinder
    byron821
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, he certainly LOOKS smart in this picture

  42. Michael Caine Youth Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr.Beiber. Here is a condom… Now, before you have sex with any more young women,I want you to take this orally and choke yourself.”

  43. Dolph Lundgren Fresh Pepper Grinder
    Commented on this photo:

    “I must break you” he says to the pepper mill.

  44. Miley Cyrus Bikini Floating On Innertube Pool Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Doable from a distance.

  45. Candice Swanepoel Nipples No Bra Midriff Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d be happy to walk by those pokies.

  46. Ron Jeremy Signing And Groping Fans Tits DBA Nightclub
    A Realist
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now remember, I was promised a meatball parm sub in exchange for this…”

  47. Luci Ford Sideboob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    + She likes nut juice.

  48. David Arquette Fat Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    Lovely.

  49. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Bikini Mermaid Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Smells fishy.

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