The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.4.13

June 4th, 2013 // 402 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed brought to you by Reality™ – Hi! I no longer exist. And to drive that point home even further, here’s Victoria Silvstedt updating her Craigslist ad, Miley Cyrus up there, who continues to be fabulously wealthy, and Ashton Kutcher continuing to be bored with banging Mila Kunis and I don’t even… Ah, and the icing on the cake of my disillusionment, Emily Blunt saying it all with her eyes and by all I mean “Wow, Bruce, I mean, wow. I’ve seen less phoning it in during a fucking telethon than your latest Die Hard movie.”

You’re goddamn right I’m still bitter about that shit,

- Photo Boy

The Crap We Missed

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt Greasy Fat Faces
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    And the slow transformation into Val Kilmer begins…

  2. Mel B Bikini Stephen Belafonte Encore Beach Club Wynn Las Vegas
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    I just can’t trust a 40 yr old man with absolutely zero body hair.

  3. Bruce Willis Emily Blunt Samuel L Jackson 7th Annual Freeing Voices, Changing Lives Benefit Gala
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Called up from retirement, “The Mod Squad” reunites, with the team infiltrating a Vermont Parent-Teacher Association meeting to see who is leaving pissy notes about the quality of the brownies at the last school bake sale.

  4. Queen Elizabeth Prince Philip Prince Charles 60th Anniversary Of Coronation Ceremony
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    “60 years ago, I had an empire. Now look at this rotten lot”

  5. Elizabeth Olsen Mary-Kate Olsen All Black Outfits CFDA Awards
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    One of them has become a businesswomen. The other has become a ghost in a creepy Japanese horror movie. Try to guess which!

  6. Joaquin Phoenix Barefoot Holding Boots Inherent Vice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I love the mutton chops.

  7. Queen Elizabeth Prince Philip Prince Charles 60th Anniversary Of Coronation Ceremony
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is it ok with you if I get the Grand Slam”?

  8. Emma Watson Poster Photobomb This Is The End Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit, that reminds me. I need to stop by Home Depot on the way home tonight and pick up some lumber.

  9. Michael Phelps Lab Coat Omega Co Axial Exhibition Opening
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    No, this isn’t a straight jacket. Why would you ask that?

  10. Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Set
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “You only have an iPhone 4?…………..loser……..”

  11. Stephen King John Mellencamp Ghost Brothers Of Darkland County Q&A Apple Store
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we quite sure Mr King isn’t a member of the Undead?
    Look at the photo. I have serious concerns.

  12. Seth Rogen Hand Down Ass Of Pants This Is The End Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    That Asian chick isn’t going to be smiling after he removes his hand from his ass and then gives her his autograph.

  13. Nicole Richie Super Thin CFDA Fashion Awards
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    We thought we had seen bad stuff in the War…until the day we liberated Dachau.

  14. Michael Phelps Lab Coat Omega Co Axial Exhibition Opening
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Why yes, I do feather. Thanks for noticing!

  15. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Now this is a fucking sexy woman. Look at that shape. It’s perfect.

  16. Debi Mazar Husband Gabriele Corcos
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Gotta find meth….gotta find meth….gotta find meth….

  17. Joaquin Phoenix Barefoot Holding Boots Inherent Vice Set
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    Since when do you have to take your shoes off to get a B12 shot?

  18. Seth Rogen Hand Down Ass Of Pants This Is The End Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Murph.

  19. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint Formula One Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, I have to ask: What is keeping that crotch cover on there? Is it just suction? I’m going with suction.

  20. Sofia Vergara Cleavage Derpface CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Coochie! Coochie! Coochie!

  21. Emma Watson Poster Photobomb This Is The End Premiere
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    Did her clothes shrink in washing and didn’t have time to replace?!

  22. Seth Rogen Hand Down Ass Of Pants This Is The End Premiere
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    What on earth would Carrie Underwood want with a shot of Seth Rogen’s ass?

  23. Bruce Willis Emily Blunt Samuel L Jackson 7th Annual Freeing Voices, Changing Lives Benefit Gala
    JuJuBoogie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Listen Bruce-I know I promised to come home with you, but I am leaving with Idi Amin…I just have a good feeling about him.”

  24. Elizabeth Olsen Mary-Kate Olsen All Black Outfits CFDA Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell happened to Elizabeth’s face? She didn’t look that way in Martha Marcy May Marlene. She either got botox, which would be fucking stupid at her age, or she went full Olsen. You never go full Olsen.

  25. Colin Farrell Shirtless Sweaty Six Pack Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugly fucking tattoos.

  26. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint Formula One Photocall
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like when cooking a meal goes wrong. All the proper ingredients are there but somehow just don’t come together right.

  27. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “Siri? I forgot how to walk.”

  28. Emma Watson Poster Photobomb This Is The End Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “The outfit you wore to the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone wrap party doesn’t fit you anymore, Emma. Let it go!”

  29. Jay Baruchel Screaming This Is The End Premiere
    JuJuBoogie
    Commented on this photo:

    It never fails – someone always assumes black jeans are “dress” pants.

  30. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint Formula One Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, you have to give the Formel Team some credit. To try and get her race-ready, only two days after hitting the soft wall in turn three, was going to be a crap-shoot at best.”

  31. Seth Rogen Hand Down Ass Of Pants This Is The End Premiere
    JuJuBoogie
    Commented on this photo:

    Rogen’s dealer could be heard just off camera: “Opium suppositories. Ideal for your purposes. Slow release. Bring you down gradual. Custom fucking designed for your needs.”

  32. Nicole Richie Super Thin CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, she lost a lot of weight. She looks great. She should wear the hair down.

  33. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    And she scrubs decks too? I suppose there’s a reason they call them working girls.

  34. Wilmer Valderrama This Is The End Premiere
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s such a sad name for his biopic especially since McDonalds is usually always hiring.

  35. Joaquin Phoenix Barefoot Holding Boots Inherent Vice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    he looks like he’s been through the desert on a horse with no name.

  36. Bruce Willis Emily Blunt Samuel L Jackson 7th Annual Freeing Voices, Changing Lives Benefit Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Really?! ‘Jim’ from The Office? Are you shitting me?”

  37. Elizabeth Olsen Mary-Kate Olsen All Black Outfits CFDA Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope I die before one of the Olsen Twins dies because, if they die first, I’m really going to feel old.

  38. Queen Elizabeth Prince Philip Prince Charles 60th Anniversary Of Coronation Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Two of them are thinking “Just die already.”

  39. Miley Cyrus Nipples Tight Dress Nick Bracelet
    Commented on this photo:

    Dead-on Amanda Bynes impression

  40. Colin Farrell Shirtless Sweaty Six Pack Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    These photogs think I’m straight ..hahahaha

  41. Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick Scott Disick Angry
    Commented on this photo:

    Take a good look at that child. He is the future of douchebaggery.

  42. Michael Phelps Lab Coat Omega Co Axial Exhibition Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Got any weed?”

  43. Elizabeth Olsen Mary-Kate Olsen All Black Outfits CFDA Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t remember. Which one killed Heath Ledger?

  44. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint Formula One Photocall
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, that’s sexy.

  45. Elizabeth Olsen Mary-Kate Olsen All Black Outfits CFDA Awards
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    After the award show they were invited to Ashley’s for a dinner of croutons,Marlboro’s and syrup of ipecac.

  46. Bruce Willis Emily Blunt Samuel L Jackson 7th Annual Freeing Voices, Changing Lives Benefit Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    BRUCE “So, we’re down with three some, but we’re gonna need you to shave your head”
    SAM “We like it smooooth….”

  47. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    More like “Siri, how long until my inevitable public meltdown?”

  48. Colin Farrell Shirtless Sweaty Six Pack Abs
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice pigtails fuckface!

  49. Miley Cyrus Nipples Tight Dress Nick Bracelet
    Commented on this photo:

    If you follow them all the way to the top, she has a tattoo of an arrowhead and the phrase “Food goes here.”

  50. Wilmer Valderrama This Is The End Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    His shirt is a commentary on how despite being a quack he always scores hot tail.

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