The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.4.13

June 4th, 2013 // 402 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed brought to you by Reality™ – Hi! I no longer exist. And to drive that point home even further, here’s Victoria Silvstedt updating her Craigslist ad, Miley Cyrus up there, who continues to be fabulously wealthy, and Ashton Kutcher continuing to be bored with banging Mila Kunis and I don’t even… Ah, and the icing on the cake of my disillusionment, Emily Blunt saying it all with her eyes and by all I mean “Wow, Bruce, I mean, wow. I’ve seen less phoning it in during a fucking telethon than your latest Die Hard movie.”

You’re goddamn right I’m still bitter about that shit,

- Photo Boy

The Crap We Missed

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Queen Elizabeth Prince Philip Prince Charles 60th Anniversary Of Coronation Ceremony
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Good lord, who gave him a children’s menu?”

  2. Queen Elizabeth Prince Philip Prince Charles 60th Anniversary Of Coronation Ceremony
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Young Mister Windsor is looking spry!

  3. Wilmer Valderrama This Is The End Premiere
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wilmer Valderrama at the premiere of ‘This Is The End’.”

    Yeah, that’s about how I think it will end, too.

  4. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt Greasy Fat Faces
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ms. Jolie, what do you think of the claim that cunnilingus causes cancer?”
    “If that were true, one of us would have been dead years ago.”

  5. Bruce Willis Emily Blunt Samuel L Jackson 7th Annual Freeing Voices, Changing Lives Benefit Gala
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Look lady, I don’t mean to scare you, but some German asshole made us come to this event, and if you don’t play along, he’s about to blow the whole place up.

  6. Miley Cyrus Nipples Tight Dress Nick Bracelet
    Commented on this photo:

    #ducklips, #brigitte nielson hair, #ribcage incisions

  7. Victoria Justice Bikini Pool Instagram
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks skinny. No wonder she floats. Or she’s a witch…

  8. Queen Elizabeth Prince Philip Prince Charles 60th Anniversary Of Coronation Ceremony
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, I shall have the poached salmon, please.

  9. Miley Cyrus Nipples Tight Dress Nick Bracelet
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit! She’s going Amanda Bynes on us! RUN!

    • Batu Khan

      You can’t be a chipmunk and not go nuts. Let’s hope she makes a sex tape to get back at Billy Ray, Liam, or both. We’ll call it therapy.

  10. Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick Scott Disick Angry
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come one, Mason. We have to get you to the Calvin Klein shoot in half an hour. Did daddy wax your eye-brows?”

  11. Michael Phelps Lab Coat Omega Co Axial Exhibition Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, Mr. Phelps. Right this way to our la-bo-ra-to-ry… It has the best specimens”

  12. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    That photo would be better taken from behind her.

  13. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Bored Eating Dinner Dim T Chinese Restaurant
    Commented on this photo:

    Ashton thought bubble: How does is she able to pick up food with those two pencils?

  14. Joaquin Phoenix Barefoot Holding Boots Inherent Vice Set
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Save us, bootless Neil Young!

  15. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint Formula One Photocall
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like throat cancer has a new spokesperson.

  16. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Bored Eating Dinner Dim T Chinese Restaurant
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever get to that point in a relationship where you can’t even stand watching them eat? He has.

  17. Serena Williams Cleavage Bloomers French Open
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a thin woman in there trying to get out. In the meantime she invited a man friend in to keep her company.

  18. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint Formula One Photocall
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo is a community service – that is what a throat cancer giving vagina looks like.

  19. Nicole Richie Super Thin CFDA Fashion Awards
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    She obviously won the anorexia nervosa award.

  20. Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he remind me of the Spider-man from The Electric Company?

  21. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Bored Eating Dinner Dim T Chinese Restaurant
    Krazee Thug Nutz
    Commented on this photo:

    Private male thought: “Now if she could only gobble my cock, like that dim sum.”

  22. Miley Cyrus Nipples Tight Dress Nick Bracelet
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    The next time somebody asks Miley if she wants to play Operation, I hope she makes sure they’re refering to the board game.

  23. Sofia Vergara Cleavage Derpface CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s looking in a mirror saying, “Holy shit, are those MY tits?”

  24. Serena Williams Cleavage Bloomers French Open
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know the French Open included a discipline for interpretive dance.

  25. Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Set
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, we were going to take them to meet Tobey Maguire, but the line was so long, so…

  26. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Yacht
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! I see London,France, Sydney, Tehran, and Cairo! Damn!

  27. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Bored Eating Dinner Dim T Chinese Restaurant
    Commented on this photo:

    Ashton’s at the stage where he can’t even hear her voice or see her face without wanting to hang himself or punch her in the face.

  28. Stephen King John Mellencamp Ghost Brothers Of Darkland County Q&A Apple Store
    Commented on this photo:

    How did Dinklage get so tall?

  29. Elizabeth Olsen Mary-Kate Olsen All Black Outfits CFDA Awards
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone in the family didn’t eat their Flintstones Chewable HGH during childhood.

  30. Elisabetta Canalis Butt Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    The stain of Steve-O has washed off nicely. You are now officially fuckable again.

  31. Seth Rogen Hand Down Ass Of Pants This Is The End Premiere
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me pull another script out of my ass.

  32. Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick Scott Disick Angry
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Douche, douchina and douchette

  33. Elisabetta Canalis Butt Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Steve O’s been there.

  34. David Beckham Smelling Fingers Miami Heat Game 7
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    The finger on the nose is code for “I fancy the one currently dribbling the ball now. Fetch him.”

  35. Jay Baruchel Screaming This Is The End Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Where the nerdy roles in romantic comedies at?”

  36. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt Greasy Fat Faces
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I should pay more attention. I could have sworn there was something about this pair of boobs being gone.

  37. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Bored Eating Dinner Dim T Chinese Restaurant
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    When your boyfriend gives you the OJ face, it’s probably time to pack.

  38. Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Set
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t look at me! I don’t know you and I certainly don’t know that kid!

  39. Miley Cyrus Nipples Tight Dress Nick Bracelet
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s your #1, Maxim. LOL, you guys suck at picking.

  40. Colin Farrell Shirtless Sweaty Six Pack Abs
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Embracing his inner knacker

  41. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Bored Eating Dinner Dim T Chinese Restaurant
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Ashton looks like he about two more boring dates away from hot-tubing with strange chicks the first chance he gets.

  42. Sofia Vergara Cleavage Derpface CFDA Fashion Awards
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s just surprised someone looked at her not her tits. Later it turned out to be Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

  43. Bruce Willis Emily Blunt Samuel L Jackson 7th Annual Freeing Voices, Changing Lives Benefit Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Emily is fucking gorgeous.

  44. Mel B Bikini Stephen Belafonte Encore Beach Club Wynn Las Vegas
    Commented on this photo:

    Ain’t nothing scary about that body.

  45. Bruce Willis Emily Blunt Samuel L Jackson 7th Annual Freeing Voices, Changing Lives Benefit Gala
    pigglywiggly
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not Seal?

  46. Wilmer Valderrama This Is The End Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    My girlfriend made me this in her 2nd period art class!

  47. Victoria Justice Bikini Pool Instagram
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    This beauty should honestly have every one of Sophia VeCharro’s (“Coochie, coochie!”) spokeswoman jobs!

    Not only can she speak clear and understandable English with no annoying nanny voice, she’s also ten times better looking. Unfortunately for Victoria, she’s not a “professional minority” and that’s more important to advertisers in spokesmodels these days than, ya know, speaking!.

  48. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt Greasy Fat Faces
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the problem with being too pretty. When your looks start to go it’s all the more evident. Angelina’s starting to show her age too.

    • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

      Hmmm, maybe. I see plenty of exceptions. But more to the point, your looks go quicker when aging meets plastic surgery.

  49. Victoria Justice Bikini Pool Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Plain as vanilla. I don’t see anything special about her.

  50. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint Formula One Photocall
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Her self respect was out of there so fast it qualified in pole

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