The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.3.14

June 3rd, 2014 // 432 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where today we get to shine a light on the mysterious origins of some celebrity behavior. First, there’s Solange Knowles, who I never noticed before this shot looks exactly like she could be Beyonce‘s identical twin brother. Then there’s Kevin Dillon getting an accidental text from his dad that reads “Matthew, when I think of the word son, only your face will ever come to mind. Hope you’re having a great day!” And finally, there’s Shia LaBeouf with his mother in a pic that if for you doesn’t explain literally everything that’s ever gone wrong with this kid, then you’ve clearly never run crying out of your surprise thirteenth birthday party when your mom started telling the girl you really like exactly when you were “weaned off the breast.”

WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bergdahl, we brought you back for one final mission. You have still have the vest they gave you at bomb camp?”

  2. John Mayer White Drop Crotch Pants Cat Sweater
    Commented on this photo:

    And here I actually thought Bieber was the only person douchey enough to where those hideous drop-crotch pants. It’s a shame I was wrong.

  3. Alec Baldwin Weird Hair Five Oclock Shadow Laphams Quarterly Decades Ball The 1870s
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the look of a man who just had some Pap Heat taken off him. Thanks, Jonah Hill!

  4. Kenny Rogers Darius Rucker Fifth Annual Darius And Friends Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m gonna own you. At karaoke. At singing in our karaoke contest. You know what I meant.”

  5. Seal Mystery Woman Hiding Face In Car
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see the moon lander!

  6. Chris Kattan Dressed As Mango From SNL 2014 CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone left an expired Mango at the photo call.

  7. Kenny Rogers Darius Rucker Fifth Annual Darius And Friends Concert
    Arlmlo Schlongfooster
    Commented on this photo:

    You like to laugh at me
    When I look at them girls
    Sometimes you’re crazy
    And you wonder why
    I’m such a baby
    Cause the Dolphins make me cry
    Well there’s nothing I can do
    I only wanna be with you

  8. Deadmau5 Custom Nyan Cat Ferrari
    Commented on this photo:

    The kids love that car. They tolerate the sex.

  9. Vin Diesel Thumbs Up Fast & Furious 7 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Vin needs to do more drugs, that video of him dancing around his living room in the middle of the night was embarrassing in the most hilarious way possible.

  10. Tom Mison Nicole Beharie Sleepy Hollow Special Screening Q&A Hollywood Forever Cemetery
    Commented on this photo:

    If they every get injured in a car wreck, EMS can land the chopper on his forehead.

  11. Solange Knowles Cleavage Rough Looking Face CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Eddie Murphy’s wet dream.

  12. Jennifer Hudson Saggy Cleavage Posing For Selfie With Little Boy CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    So young and yet so confident in his gayness.

  13. Seal Mystery Woman Hiding Face In Car
    Mitch
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Seal has been taking relationship management lessons from Chris Brown.

    Now, let’s see how long this post stays up this time…

  14. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.”

  15. Kelly Bensimon Nipples Sports Bra Leathery Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess it’s good she survived the fire.

  16. Jennifer Hudson Saggy Cleavage Posing For Selfie With Little Boy CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we please have the fat Jennifer Hudson back?

  17. Alyssa Milano Pregnant Pissed Off Look GMA
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?

  18. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Spritzing Herself Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be a spray bottle of TriHard.

    Or the new formula, TriWAY2Hard.

  19. LaLa Anthony Nipples See Through Dress Power Premiere
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Suddenly all I can hear is Dave Chapelle saying white power.

  20. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    The lyrics from Eminem’s “Just Lose It” ran through Kanye’s head as he kissed Kim:

    Now I’m gonna make you dance
    It’s your chance
    Yeah boy shake that ass
    Oops I mean girl,
    Girl, girl, girl,
    Girl you know you’re my world
    Alright now lose it
    UmMmMmm touch my body
    UmMmMmm touch my body
    Ooh boy just touch my body
    I mean girl just touch my body

  21. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not how I pictured his Mom, but she certainly is cute.

  22. Kenny Rogers Darius Rucker Fifth Annual Darius And Friends Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey it’s the Totally Washed Up Palooza Tour 2014.

    Who’s opening, Fred Durst?

  23. Vin Diesel Thumbs Up Fast & Furious 7 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    At seven films, Fast & Furious is now tied with Police Academy. Make of that what you will.

  24. Seal Mystery Woman Hiding Face In Car
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies, the hazards of giving vehicular head on a bumpy road cannot be overstated.

  25. Deadmau5 Custom Nyan Cat Ferrari
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, that’s just hilarious. If I had his money, I’d do a whack of stupid shit too.

  26. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Spritzing Herself Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She could have at least taken a photo with the spray actually, you know, coming out.

  27. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking ew.

    Or m’ew, as it were.

  28. Coco Cleavage Coco Licious Collection Sex Toy Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    You could smother entire factions of militant extremists between those.

  29. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint World Cup Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw c’mon… no jokes about kissing balls?

  30. Rihanna Nipples No Bra Mesh Shirt Dentist Office
    Commented on this photo:

    Lenses that produce no facial distortion set off my hipster douchebag detector.

  31. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint World Cup Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Group G should be interesting in the World Cup, especially with Jurgen Klinsmann coaching the US squad. Oh, and that’s a stupid hat.

  32. Kenny Rogers Darius Rucker Fifth Annual Darius And Friends Concert
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t believe you are still alive.”

    “I can’t believe you still have a career without the Blowfish.”

  33. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint World Cup Photo Shoot
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Even her skin looks plasticky

  34. Coco Cleavage Coco Licious Collection Sex Toy Launch
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, she is actually sitting on her ass. I thought that was the last thing she used it for.

    • Can you imagine how weird it probably feels to sit down with all those implants in there? I go nuts when I can feel a little bit of pepper stuck in my teeth. How long would it take for you to become numb to their presence? Years right? Think about when you’re sitting on your wallet at a movie. It’s annoying and that’s just a couple of hours AND you can take it out of your pocket.

      Yep, this is the crap I waste my time thinking about.

  35. Alec Baldwin Weird Hair Five Oclock Shadow Laphams Quarterly Decades Ball The 1870s
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Do the Baldwin brothers have a bet going to see who can be the least attractive?

  36. Lindsay Lohan Nipples No Bra Saggy Boobs
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘What do you mean, ‘nipples out of range?”

  37. Rihanna Nipples No Bra Mesh Shirt Dentist Office
    Commented on this photo:

    Judging from her smile, I wonder if Skarsgard was impersonating a dentist, or impregnating, whatever.

  38. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I see why Shia was so good in that Holes movie. His mother looks like she is from the mole clan.

  39. Tom Mison Nicole Beharie Sleepy Hollow Special Screening Q&A Hollywood Forever Cemetery
    Commented on this photo:

    He tends to fluctuate between looking cute and appearing somewhat average, but he’s a Brit so he gets about 50K in bonus points.

  40. Solange Knowles Cleavage Rough Looking Face CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She could hide a variety of weapons in that hair. You know, in the event she can’t use her feet.

  41. Hilary Swank Butt Yoga Pants Scooter
    Commented on this photo:

    Haven’t seen much of her in a while…business must be good blowing dictators.

  42. Laura Dern Mouth Open The Fault In Our Stars Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    They making another Scream sequel?

    • Johnny Barbells

      holy shit… the mask from ‘scream’ is a take off of the painting ‘the scream’ …i JUST got that!!! (no sarcasm…i literally just put that together)

  43. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    How does Ray J’s shot taste, Yeezus?

  44. Kenny Rogers Darius Rucker Fifth Annual Darius And Friends Concert
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, Ruck! You mind putting drops in my eyes? I can’t blink anymore.”

  45. Deadmau5 Custom Nyan Cat Ferrari
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    My other car’s a unicorn.

  46. Chris Kattan Dressed As Mango From SNL 2014 CFDA Fashion Awards
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m saving Mr. Peepers for the Central Park Zoo Gala.”

  47. Vin Diesel Thumbs Up Fast & Furious 7 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Vin! How does a big chunk of dick sound right about now?”

  48. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint World Cup Photo Shoot
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    “Call me PayLay.”

  49. Kevin Dillon Double Chin Derpface Fedora Entourage Movie
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know hey were making a sequel to The Blob! Awesome!

  50. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint World Cup Photo Shoot
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    “Call me PayLay.”

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