The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.3.14

June 3rd, 2014 // 432 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where today we get to shine a light on the mysterious origins of some celebrity behavior. First, there’s Solange Knowles, who I never noticed before this shot looks exactly like she could be Beyonce‘s identical twin brother. Then there’s Kevin Dillon getting an accidental text from his dad that reads “Matthew, when I think of the word son, only your face will ever come to mind. Hope you’re having a great day!” And finally, there’s Shia LaBeouf with his mother in a pic that if for you doesn’t explain literally everything that’s ever gone wrong with this kid, then you’ve clearly never run crying out of your surprise thirteenth birthday party when your mom started telling the girl you really like exactly when you were “weaned off the breast.”

WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED!!

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Alec Baldwin Weird Hair Five Oclock Shadow Laphams Quarterly Decades Ball The 1870s
    Bane
    Commented on this photo:

    Alcohol bloat.

  2. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    dirt dog
    Commented on this photo:

    please go away.

  3. Alec Baldwin Weird Hair Five Oclock Shadow Laphams Quarterly Decades Ball The 1870s
    Commented on this photo:

    Young guys who with the unshaved but wearing a suit look are douche bags. Old guys who do it are just sad.

  4. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Spritzing Herself Instagram
    Randal
    Commented on this photo:

    Chipmunk

  5. Coco Cleavage Coco Licious Collection Sex Toy Launch
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Coco, a Volkswagen Beetle is not a “sex toy.”

    Of course, if you can find the keys we’ll drive out of here.

  6. Rihanna Nipples No Bra Mesh Shirt Dentist Office
    Commented on this photo:

    She didn’t understand why she had to be naked for a dental cleaning, but she was a cooperative patient.

  7. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    Randal
    Commented on this photo:

    Ray J did it better

  8. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    Commented on this photo:

    Most guys would be embarrassed walking around with mom in boots and sweat socks, but in this case it was Mom who had to deal with it.

  9. Rihanna Nipples No Bra Mesh Shirt Dentist Office
    Commented on this photo:

    That girl never saw a bra she didn’t completely ignored.

  10. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    Dick Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she birth him in the shire ?

  11. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    Wally's Beaver
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t knock him when he is hanging with his mom. That’s being a good son.

    • Yeah, except he’s leading her into a Soylent Green Recycling Facility.

    • Yes, but she has terrible judgment.

    • I would say the same were I not convinced that he’s using her as an ‘artistic’ accessory.

    • Johnny Barbells

      …yeah, except when you remember he said (in a published interview) that he’d like to bang his mom …this mom …the one in the pic. (which maybe explains a lot)

      • In Playboy, LaBeouf says, “Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother.” Now, he responds to the public’s reaction to this comments and says everyone misunderstood:
        “It was Mother’s Day coming up and I don’t have any problems appearing crazy to make my mother smile, but she is the most beautiful woman on this planet and I love her. She’s fly as hell. I stand by that. My mom’s awesome….I think the sickness is also on the other end to be able to twist the words and make it as ridiculous as that. Clearly, I’m not having sex with my mother. It’s ridiculous.”

        Um. Wow.

  12. Alec Baldwin Weird Hair Five Oclock Shadow Laphams Quarterly Decades Ball The 1870s
    Commented on this photo:

    And now you know why Hollywood make up artists should be more highly paid.

  13. Solange Knowles Cleavage Rough Looking Face CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Punch drunk.

  14. Vin Diesel Thumbs Up Fast & Furious 7 Set
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    “In my next movie, I play a tree!”

  15. Solange Knowles Cleavage Rough Looking Face CFDA Fashion Awards
    Wally's Beaver
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks like the face of an elevator attacker.

  16. Rihanna Nipples No Bra Mesh Shirt Dentist Office
    Commented on this photo:

    She still doesn’t understand why knock out gas makes her butt hurt.

  17. Alyssa Milano Pregnant Pissed Off Look GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me the kid from Who’s the Boss has a mom who is also named Alyssa Milano.

  18. Chris Kattan Dressed As Mango From SNL 2014 CFDA Fashion Awards
    Dildo Baggins
    Commented on this photo:

    Here we have Chris pretending he’s not gay

  19. Kevin Dillon Double Chin Derpface Fedora Entourage Movie
    Wally's Beaver
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the long face?

  20. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    If only this was a huge elaborate ruse by Kanye to get her into public only to pee on her in front of all the paparazzi while yelling “Suck it, Ray-J!!!”

  21. Kevin Dillon Double Chin Derpface Fedora Entourage Movie
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember him having a chin on Entourage.

  22. Seal Mystery Woman Hiding Face In Car
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s right…she wouldn’t listen.”

  23. Alec Baldwin Weird Hair Five Oclock Shadow Laphams Quarterly Decades Ball The 1870s
    Commented on this photo:

    “Smile you little faggots…”

  24. Hilary Swank Butt Yoga Pants Scooter
    Commented on this photo:

    Hilary Swank or Jon Bon Jovi?

  25. Lindsay Lohan Nipples No Bra Saggy Boobs
    Commented on this photo:

    “Siri, where is the nearest person who will give me money for doing nothing?”

  26. John Mayer White Drop Crotch Pants Cat Sweater
    Commented on this photo:

    Great, the Z. Cavaricci pants craze is back…

  27. Laura Dern Mouth Open The Fault In Our Stars Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?”

  28. Kenny Rogers Darius Rucker Fifth Annual Darius And Friends Concert
    KP
    Commented on this photo:

    “Baby when I met you there was peace unknown…”

  29. Kelly Bensimon Nipples Sports Bra Leathery Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    “I was running so late this morning…I didn’t even get a chance to iron my legs!”

  30. Alec Baldwin Weird Hair Five Oclock Shadow Laphams Quarterly Decades Ball The 1870s
    Commented on this photo:

    So I see he and Chris Noth go to the same barber.

  31. Shannon Bex Dawn Richard Aubrey ODay Danity Kane Cleavage Empire State Building
    Commented on this photo:

    Charlie’s Angels, if they weren’t all a bunch of vapid c-words…oops…never mind.

  32. Alyssa Milano Pregnant Pissed Off Look GMA
    Chaz
    Commented on this photo:

    Her arm looks like Seal’s face…You’ll see.

  33. John Mayer White Drop Crotch Pants Cat Sweater
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see … a cat in the snow … you’re a pussy who likes cocaine?

  34. John Mayer White Drop Crotch Pants Cat Sweater
    Commented on this photo:

    Please Mayer, don’t hurt ‘em

    I’m here all week folks! Tip your waitresses.

  35. Solange Knowles Cleavage Rough Looking Face CFDA Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a helluva 5 o’clock shadow.

  36. Kenny Rogers Darius Rucker Fifth Annual Darius And Friends Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it racist if I make a fried chicken joke here?
    ‘Cause you know that’s what they’re talking about.

  37. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    It is worth noting that after they left the Czech government decided to burn the castle to the ground, salted the earth, and quarantined a 10 mile area inaccessible to anyone under penalty of death.

  38. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint World Cup Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    That fat girl in the background is jealous mad.

  39. Alyssa Milano Pregnant Pissed Off Look GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    holy shit, bingo wings on Alyssa? the end is nigh.

  40. Alec Baldwin Weird Hair Five Oclock Shadow Laphams Quarterly Decades Ball The 1870s
    Donald Sterling
    Commented on this photo:

    No Alec, they said “The 1870s in New York City” not “70 Year Olds in New York City.”

  41. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    The nation of the Czech Republic will be closed next week for steam cleaning.

  42. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint World Cup Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    those just might be the worst looking bolt-ons on EARTH. wow.

  43. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    Donald Sterling
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess growing up on Tantooine must have been pretty tough.

  44. Angelina Jolie Nipples New Boobs Maleficent Photo Call Shanghai
    Donald Sterling
    Commented on this photo:

    Must have been a real challenge for her to play a selfish, powerful, evil witch.

  45. Kevin Dillon Double Chin Derpface Fedora Entourage Movie
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like the Goblin King from The Hobbit.

  46. Miranda Kerr Cleavage Spritzing Herself Instagram
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    When she is hunting billionaires she has to cover her natural scent. Billionaires are easily spooked.

  47. Kim Kardashian Kanye West French Kiss Ploskovice Castle Garden
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Where are the Soviet tanks when you need them?

  48. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    Commented on this photo:

    So – Harold & Maud is being remade after all.

  49. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    For some reason Howard Wolowitz comes to mind.

  50. Shia LaBeouf Holding HIs Mothers Hand
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Both…mother and girlfriend.

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