The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.28.11

June 28th, 2011 // 633 Comments

Suddenly I miss Nicole Eggert.

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Johnny Depp and Snooki go to the same nail salon, Joe Jonas fooling exactly no one, irrefutable proof that I hate you and Michael Lohan making sure Lindsay isn’t doing drugs in the shower. “She wants us to think she’s just washing her jugs. Now hide my erection with this cellphone clip.”

Look, I made it an entire post without saying angel rapedammit,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Amber Rose Wiz Khalifa BET Awards
    baron of all media
    Commented on this photo:

    When you’re banging a chick with bigger arms than you, and shorter hair than you, pretty good bet you’re a closet homo.

  2. Jason Statham
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone said ‘Hey, I want to make an action movie that suck ass. Where’s Statham?’ and voila there he is.

  3. Madonna
    Commented on this photo:

    Madonna…you’re not in hollywood anymore, you can put your cell phone in your purse, nobody will judge you. Well, not for the phone…your crypt keeper hands are still fair game.

  4. Antonio Banderas Anna Drijver
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Aha, Zorro removes panties from hot brunette without Meg knowing.

  5. Ryan Phillippe
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Compared to the earlier pick of Johnny Depp, he looks like he’s about to be called to the bar.

  6. Jersey Shore Snooki
    Siloporcen7
    Commented on this photo:

    The engagement ring she is showing us got lost! Call Interpol!!!

  7. Nicole Kidman
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Not the way I’d want my own face frozen but she wears it well.

  8. Johnny Depp
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Depp start getting low quality tattoos, mixed with ye olde timey daguerreotypes?

  9. Dr Robert Ray
    Commented on this photo:

    You like em? I got them from Kim’s ass when she upgraded.

  10. Ryan Phillippe
    Commented on this photo:

    Just asking for a baseball bat to the lips.

  11. Nicole Kidman
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Again I salute her for successfully escaping from…well, you know.
    Fat baby.

  12. Dr Robert Ray
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at me! I’m the one who did it, fools! Bwahahaha!!! I unleashed it! You see…it’s so simple…I’m a South American Plastic Surgeon, and Kim Kardashian had a Brazilian Butt Implant…see?….Bwahahahaha!!!

  13. Dr Robert Ray
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like he was trying to do an impression of “The Situation” but confused him with “J-Woww”, and this was the result

  14. Janet Jackson
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s too bad.
    Were the fans angry? Did the Frenchies boo & throw stuff?

  15. Nicole Kidman
    Commented on this photo:

    Practicing her new birth control method.

  16. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    a straight man would be looking at ONE boob at least…

  17. Madonna
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Avoid direct daylight when cameras are near.

  18. Amber Rose Wiz Khalifa BET Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    somehow this is even more gay than Joe Jonas trying not to retch while hugging big boobed chicks.

  19. Jersey Shore Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    See how high I can count? I can count to six.

  20. Michael Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nope, I’m more than 500 feet away Lindsay…nothing you can do about it…wait, wtf…is that bamboo???”

  21. Alicia Keys Madame Tussaud's Wax Figure
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d rather do her wax figure.

  22. Ryan Phillippe
    Commented on this photo:

    Now where’d my sunglasses go?

  23. Martin Sheen
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Never get out of the boat.” Absolutely goddamn right! Unless you were goin’ all the way… Charlie got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program.

  24. Nicole Kidman
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, redheaded baby. You know what that means? Nicole’s carpet matches her drapes.

  25. Martin Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    Her vagina was this big…

  26. Gwyneth Paltrow Beyonce Album Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Proving that Pippa is average at best, Gwyneth Paltrow can’t walk the streets of London without spontaneous dirty dancing breaking out.

  27. Johnny Depp
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ink, assclown.

  28. Nicole Kidman
    Commented on this photo:

    mmm… too much teeth. make more of an “O”.. less of an “aarrrrrrr”

  29. Johnny Depp
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Can I blame the French for this? He moved there a while ago: is this their corrupting decadent influence? Or was he already well down this path before then?
    This is a gorgeous man who’s turned himself into a douchebag hobo.

  30. Nicole Kidman
    Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    This Nicole Kidman wax figure looks much worse than the Alicia Keys wax figure, in the previous picture.

  31. Betty White Feeding Giraffe
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know there was such a thing as “Giraffe-nip”…the elderly have much wisdom they have not chosen to share.

  32. Dr Robert Ray
    Commented on this photo:

    “And this is where I plan on giving myself a Tori Spelling chest-fuckhole.”

  33. Ryan Phillippe
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    See, whatever you might say about bellbottoms, you could just take them off when the eighties started.

  34. Madonna
    Commented on this photo:

    now she’s adopted Reese Witherspoon’s chin. Enough is enough already!

  35. Dr Robert Ray
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are big moobs. Big non-celebrity moobs.
    Thanks for sharing.

  36. RoboZombie

    “..just washing her jugs”. Wow, THAT’S a visual I can get on board with!

  37. Amber Rose Wiz Khalifa BET Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    They’ll make beautiful mongoloids together.

  38. Betty White Feeding Giraffe
    Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    Betty: Hey, stop licking Bea Arthur’s ashes!

  39. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    ..and the girl on the left is already 100x hotter than pippa middleton. See England, you CAN do it.

  40. Jason Statham
    Commented on this photo:

    Rules:
    1. “The deal is the deal”
    2. “No names”
    3. “Never open the package”
    4. “Never make a promise you can’t keep”
    5. “Put your shoes in the bin”

  41. Michael Lohan
    Oldnslo
    Commented on this photo:

    With just a bit more power, I could totally find what’s left of your career with this!

  42. Betty White Feeding Giraffe
    Tanzarian
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s feeding it weed. Why? Because she’s fucking Betty White, bitch.

  43. Antonio Banderas Anna Drijver
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Antonio…he can’t teabag like in his younger days

  44. Michael Emerson
    Commented on this photo:

    His clothes say sunday school teacher but his eyes say I will fuck you up bitch.

  45. Tom Hardy
    Commented on this photo:

    Dopey, the movie.

  46. Jersey Shore Snooki
    Tracey
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank God she ios back in Jersey and not embarrassing the entire US in Italy any longer.

  47. Johnny Depp
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminds me of a book I had. Someone scribbled all over it.

  48. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese
    Commented on this photo:

    I will say this for her…..

  49. Jersey Shore Deena Cortese
    Tanzarian
    Commented on this photo:

    Since when are tv stars the broads that used to be behind the counter of your crappy local pizza shop?

  50. BSting

    Prompt: how many nights a week do you pray you’ll wake up a Kardashian?

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