“A bat? Fock that, I’mma turn in into a wee closet with a toilet innit.” *POOF*
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you at normal time because I couldn’t convince Fish to cut out early for The Lucky One. YOU PROMISED! Anyway, today we’ve got Seal‘s matching finger and toenail polish, the group of middle-aged women behind Christie Brinkley saying it all with their eyes, as well as Tim Burton badly in need of a reference from Steven Tyler‘s dentist. And while we’re on the subject of oral hygiene, yeah….
Serena Williams‘ secret is she’s always angry,
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she thought the group was named “Women Behind MARS Bars”
Touché!
“Mom, how come that lady doesn’t have a big bell . . . ouch!”
Even the mom is getting a woody
That’s a FUPA
I’d be lying if I said I wouldnt try to hit it after a couple martinis in some darkly lit hole in the wall
OKay, I get it, you’re hot for a 58 year old but get over it.
trying REALLY hard not to pee in her diaper
If they weren’t related, I’d say they were fucking each other.
They might be anyway.
I know we’re supposed to be noticing the pink outfit here, but when did Anthony Anderson go on the Jonah Hill diet?
How would you like to be on the casting couch with THAT. Let’s hear no more about overpaid actors.
stubby legs
pissed the paparazzi showed up bc he was just about to get a suckback
Anti Tiger Woods…
- Goes to Perkins to actually eat.
- Couldn’t get a whore even if he paid them.
- Fat.
- Might actually still be good at golf.
That girl in the stripes looks like she’s comtemplating the meaning of life
She has the look of a farmer figuring how much to pay for a heifer
Vanessa Hudgens, the Blonde Years.
Could’ve sworn this was Hayden Panettiere.
“Yes Mister Seal… the Mumm-Ra auditions are three rooms over to the left “
When Steven dies he’ll set a new world record for fastest decomposition.
That lady (Shemar is a woman’s name, right?) must not have had her Depends on.
Who can tell with these ridiculous made up black names? I mean, Shaquille is a very feminine sounding name.
Giggles all round. It’s the Cape of Good Dope
Jogging off into obscurity
“Onnne, Twwwooo, Thrreeeee ounces for Count Cokula.”
My goodness, Eva, cover that damned fivehead.
His upper row of teeth has to be at least 65% of his body weight.
Her face reminds me how happy I am Tila Tequila is mostly dead.
If he blew you, it would look like you wiped your dick under a freshly stained fence.
I’d make fun of him, but I’ve done the exact same thing trying to mix drinks on the beach (see his left pocket) under a towel….
my boner kept knocking the liquor bottle over
or jeans over wet swim trunks, but the comments section is not for facts, this is pee.
LOL – your last 11 words…
Not having golf shoes on makes me think he just has this ensemble in his closet, not special for this outing. And that scares me.
Those are golf shoes. Retadedly expensive one by Ecco. The shirt and pants are by loudmouth golf, also stupid pricey. Guy spent a grand to look that stupid.
That’s his “I can’t believe I actually got engaged to this crazy chick… please let us get hit by a garbage truck” face.
In part of her deal to promote the release of “The Avengers,” Serena agreed to play with an Adamantium racquet in this tournament.
“Another Wilson…that’s 12. Jesus, I know I have that Dunlop in here somewhere…”
She looks like she is barely holding in the vomit.
I”m not.
Derp got Herp.
“So, I’m sitting here with my penis out and the paps show up . . .”
The reason why there’s no Pole Vault in the Special Olympics
“Dude – it smells bad”
“Just drink it!” [giggle]
“Seriously… what the heck is it? It smells like bleach.”
“Just drink it.”
“Is it yogurt?”
“Just drink it.”
“Greek yogurt?”
“Just drink it.”
Tim Burton looks so much better after caps and veneers.
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/08/bb_1-340_260.jpg[/img]
“It’s Big Bootay .. tay .. tay!!”
So…John Whorfin, John O’Connor, John Bigboote…that makes the guy up top John Cocktoastin?
“And when I stood on the piano like this… fivers every time.”
Edward Shittyteeth
Gay Or Lightly Fruity
brooke hogan is still looking mannish.
I totally thought this was Brooke Hogan
YOU told the papers that John Travolta molested you?!? So did I, Ahhahahaahaa!
Oh, my nuts!
Bride of Frankenstein?
That’s a great impression of a hot dog.
Hmm shes rather covered up, are these pics of her from last Sunday as she walks to church?
I used to be married to a fashion model…now I can’t even dress myself!
Anybody see John Carpenter’s movie “They Live”?
Why, yes! These are the same teeth I had Danny DeVito wear as the Penguin!
His next song is called “I’m Bringin’ Planking Back.”
“Yah, Heidi got one of my antique cameras, but I took her favorite scarf and purse.”
I fucking love Jessica Biel