The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.7.13

May 7th, 2013 // 229 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed. In case you missed it in the Sorry, Our Shit’s Broken post, the descriptions are back today. We heard you. We’re sorry. Although, I refuse to identify any of those men up there, so just assume, as I have, that their names are all something like Mr. Richpenis McHugerthanyours. We did not, however, abandon the new ‘Best Of’ strategy, so I’ll step aside and let shots like these do the heavy lifting. There’s Jeremy Piven on the set of the new Sex And The City sequel, as well as Kristen Stewart who’s programmed for sleep mode if there aren’t any vagina hungry film directors in the car with her, and finally, an ATV with a blown tranny.

No sign yet of Jon Hamm‘s penis. Oh wait, there it is,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INF, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Bruce Jenner Creepy Face Terrible Haircut 6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Just a matter of time before he gets breast implants.

  2. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini
    hedgehog
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel a bit short changed by “the last five”

  3. Hayden Panettiere Cleavage Wladimir Klitschko Francesco Pianeta Boxing Match
    Commented on this photo:

    “I really wish Wladimir believed in abstinence leading up to a boxing match. I’m so sore I can hardly walk.”

  4. Chris Brown Red Jacked Checking Out Chicks Ass MET Gala After Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “C’mon, baby, set that purse down and then turn the other way for just a second or two…”

  5. Cameron Diaz Stella McCartney Kristen Stewart Backseat Tired Looking MET Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Thought bubble — Kristen Stewart: “For god’s sake, why can’t these two dried up old battle axes just shut the fuck up!”

  6. Jeremy Piven Wearing Tuxedo Talking To Horse Mr Selfridge Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “I always keep chilled gin in water bottles just for occasions such as these. Now get your hairy ass in gear or we won’t have time for a dance or two…”

  7. Helen Mirren Shirt Protesting Drummers
    Commented on this photo:

    She has always had a spectacular body, especially when she was quite young.
    https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQKPlwrsyoDNmp2tY83N1l14MnBbV7mwh6Leo6cXHJyzX2wATot

  8. Joe Jonas Walking With Friends
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now ya see, us black fellas have a terrible time walkin’ normally when we gots a boner.”

  9. Andrew Garfield Dane DeHaan The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are you finally satisfied that I’m not wired? Now go ahead and suck it.”

  10. Zachary Quinto Shaved Head The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “Omigod, that Al Roker always makes me hard.”

  11. Kate Hudson Butt Tight Jeans Kurt Russell Matt Bellamy
    Commented on this photo:

    I sure hope the one in the light blue jeans isn’t Matt Bellamy, cuz if it is, I’ve turned gay.

  12. Kerry Washington The Late Show With David Letterman
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, this photo sure stimulates some brown sugar fantasies.

  13. Jaden Smith Rapping Promoting MSFTS Clothing Line
    Commented on this photo:

    A guy like Jaden Smith having a clothing line is like Lindsay Lohan running a mental health clinic.

  14. Bruce Jenner Creepy Face Terrible Haircut 6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    Commented on this photo:

    His hair looks like it may be the original color. I wonder if his pussy hair matches.

  15. Michelle Rodriguez Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Michelle, girl, you look fucking fantastic. I want to put my initials on your ass in hickies.

  16. Melanie Griffith
    Commented on this photo:

    AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! Fucking scared the piss outta me.

  17. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a magnificent body. Wouldn’t it be amazing if some of it were real?

  18. June Shannon Riding ATV With Daughter
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, ladies, the padded safety suits won’t do you much good if you don’t wear helmets, too.

  19. Chris Brown Red Jacked Checking Out Chicks Ass MET Gala After Party
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy is an utter cunt and a disgrace to the human race in general.

  20. Andrew Garfield Dane DeHaan The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Set
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Robert Downey Jr. standing next to a diamond-encrusted, 24ct. gold helicopter, wearing a suit made from blank cheques, and surrounded by beautiful women from around the world.

  21. Jaden Smith Rapping Promoting MSFTS Clothing Line
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    After seeing this picture Glenn Danzig grabs his gun and passport and heads to the airport…

  22. June Shannon Riding ATV With Daughter
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure this is how all jerky is made

  23. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she dating Arod yet? He likes his women resembling men.

  24. June Shannon Riding ATV With Daughter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure that vehicle needs another axle to comply with DOT weight distribution guidelines.

  25. Jaden Smith Rapping Promoting MSFTS Clothing Line
    oldfool
    Commented on this photo:

    Anybody who buys this shit needs to be Xenued up the butt.

  26. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    4 feet deep? I guess the look on her face is the surprise of her cock hitting the bottom.

  27. Cameron Diaz Stella McCartney Kristen Stewart Backseat Tired Looking MET Gala
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Who says blondes have more fun?

  28. Helen Mirren Shirt Protesting Drummers
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    For an old broad, she ain’t bad at all.

  29. Joe Pesci 6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Bluto has been beating the crap out of Popeye again.

  30. Doutzen Kroes Bikini Twitter
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, her body is friggin amazing!!!! That flat stomach is insane, but she still is curvy and feminine. so jealous.

  31. June Shannon Riding ATV With Daughter
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh the beauty of obesity. my god the kids shoes are bursting at the seams from those thigh sized cankles.

  32. Zachary Quinto Shaved Head The Today Show
    Captain Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    Coffee + Man breath. The man I’m referring to isn’t him.

  33. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    tacky ass swim suit. nice skin and body though

  34. Joe Jonas Walking With Friends
    Commented on this photo:

    If Dinklage was just to the left the picture would be perfect.

  35. Bruce Jenner Creepy Face Terrible Haircut 6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    Commented on this photo:

    As the official Superficial spokesperson for everyone over 50, I can tell you that in his day, (1976), Bruce Jenner was cool as fuck and banged his fair share of supermodels.

    Unfortunately something happened on the way to old age because now he looks like Rene Richards, (another old person reference), and he’s banging the most hideous bitch on the planet.

  36. Tommy Chong Cheech Marin Pretend To Smoke Joint 6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    Is George Lopez doing the hosting or the landscaping?

  37. Doutzen Kroes Bikini Twitter
    Pete
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, she used to be so much hotter a few years ago when she had more curves…..was pretty much prefection. Why do women always think it’s a good idea to starve themselves until their bones are popping out all over?

    • she still has curves. look at the S shape her body makes..perky ass and strong thighs. I hate how any woman who is fit and toned gets accused of starving herself…just cause she is muscular and has better abs than most men, naturally you people will hate on her.

      • derp

        You can be “fit” and underweight. She is underweight.

      • Noone’s hating on her because she’s muscular. We’re hating on her because girl doesn’t need an x-ray to see her internal organs.

      • Pete

        Hey lily, we all have our preferences. What the hell do you care that I PREFERED her when she was a little softer and had a bit more weight on her? You telling me that something’s wrong with me because I don’t think it’s attractive when bones stick out of a woman? Wow, you must be one angry, man-hating anorexic.

  38. Cameron Diaz Stella McCartney Kristen Stewart Backseat Tired Looking MET Gala
    Pete
    Commented on this photo:

    Cameron Diaz looks like my great aunt who is 63.

  39. Tommy Chong Cheech Marin Pretend To Smoke Joint 6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    Hugh Jazz
    Commented on this photo:

    Ironically, the poster for the Anti-Legalization movement.

  40. Jessica Biel Cleavage See Through Shirt Hailing Cab
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ooh, me! Me! I’ve seen Kyle!”

  41. Bruce Jenner Creepy Face Terrible Haircut 6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    Commented on this photo:

    It takes a lot of plastic surgery to make a 63-year-old man look like a 63-year-old woman who’s never had plastic surgery.

  42. Bruce Jenner Creepy Face Terrible Haircut 6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    datena
    Commented on this photo:

    freddy krueger

  43. Bruce Jenner Creepy Face Terrible Haircut 6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic
    bill
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is my middle school gym teacher on TCWM?

  44. Chris Brown Red Jacked Checking Out Chicks Ass MET Gala After Party
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Another one I’d be into knife-ing not wife-ing. Damn!

  45. Jeremy Piven Wearing Tuxedo Talking To Horse Mr Selfridge Set
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    No you can’t have your hair back, I’m not done with it!

  46. Helen Mirren Shirt Protesting Drummers
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’d told this band, protestors, load of noisy people, whatever, to STFU, during a theater performance of hers. She made this shirt advertising their performance as a apology, on her own terms, of course. I’m not really sure if any of you could handle Mirren, she’s pretty badass.

  47. Zachary Quinto Shaved Head The Today Show
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s illogical that he’s less stylish than non-gay Spock.

  48. Jaden Smith Rapping Promoting MSFTS Clothing Line
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    MSFTS, yeah, there’s no ‘i’ in dumbass either.

  49. June Shannon Riding ATV With Daughter
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    I smell BBQ, go left, left I said! No damnit, your other left, toward where Uncle Cousin Billy Bob is making shine. Wait, that could explain the BBQ smell. Hmm. Oh well, he’ll be good and marinated.

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