The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.28.13

May 28th, 2013 // 474 Comments

“Seriously, enough with the Candice Swanepoel butt pics.” – Nobody in the history of Candice Swanepoel butt pics.

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which thanks to the decision to make the lead pic a huge widescreen tribute to butts, has no room for the rest of the thumbnails.  I promise there’s more than just Candice in here, although I’m sure you’ll figure that out once you splint up the finger you just broke clicking into gallery. We’ve got Leonardo DiCaprio bringing his mom to a red carpet event, as well as the awkward moment when Amber Rose spit into her palm after the DJ yelled ‘Who’s ready to party?’, Halle Berry at Disneyland wearing probably the same outfit as all the other expectant moms, and Taylor Lautner‘s date whose face is almost as bored as her vagina.

Fish told me to bring back The Final Five, so, yes, I will be flogged unmercifully for this not being Jon Hamm,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Minnie Driver Son Henry Balloon Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Look mommy…I’m testicles!

  2. Shia LaBeouf Martial Arts Class Sitting On Sidewalk No Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    (….I will finally be able to KICK ASS next time some bouncer tries to kick me out of a Hollywood bar….)

  3. Corey Feldman Michael Jackson Costume Stand By Me Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s confirmed…he was Michael’s main fuck boy.

  4. Shia LaBeouf Martial Arts Class Sitting On Sidewalk No Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    Hahah he finally wants to win a fight so he’s looking for a master to teach him.

  5. Ben Affleck Brown University Honorary Degree
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeez Ben, the black chick is holding a camera. Stereotype much?

  6. Michael Keaton Suspended By Wires Birdman Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can you see the wires? You can see the wires, can’t you??”

  7. James Woods Arm In Arm With Young Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s the face of pulling young pussy from the bar and not having to pay for it.

  8. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey it’s Snow Miser and Heat Miser I haven’t seen them in forever!

  9. Brooke Shields Crazy Face Yellow Eyes Hamptons Magazine Cover Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    “im so…..happy ..SAD, HAPPY!!!! You know that new antidepressant you take to make the other antidepressant work better? Im on that and I fell like….hugging, KILLING SOMEONE!”

    • Yes, she reportedly has issues with depression, which must be all the more unbearable because, you know, rich and famous… IMO such issues are due to moving through one’s life without making any lasting friends… so, DON’T DO THAT.

      • Yes, indeed, people who suffer from depression are always entirely responsible for that condition, since they have no lasting attachments or friends. From childhood, they are all homeless transient orphans with attachment disorders, because there’s no such thing as causality and effect.

        Do you ever bother to listen to the shit that your so-called brain generates first, or do you just say “Fuck quality control, let’s roll with that!”?

      • Sage advice from welldoneson, m.d.! Words to live by.

  10. Joe Francis Whispering In Scott Disicks Ear 30th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    And finally the immovable douche collides with the unstoppable douche. Philosophy yo!

  11. Corey Feldman Michael Jackson Costume Stand By Me Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “And then he would sit down on it wearing this outfit, like this….”

  12. Carmen Electra Butt Whores Vienna Lifeball
    Commented on this photo:

    There is like ten to a thousand reasons why chicks over forty should not wear fishnets.

  13. Shia LaBeouf Martial Arts Class Sitting On Sidewalk No Shoes
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    At a martial arts class?! Is he the punching bag?

  14. Adam Lambert Hammer Pants Eye Make Up Vienna Lifeball
    Commented on this photo:

    “At my signal…unleash HIV.”

  15. Michael Keaton Suspended By Wires Birdman Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m an idea man Chuck, I get ideas, sometimes I get so many ideas that I can’t even fight them off! OK, here’s an example. Watch out, stand back. [speaks into tape recorder]
    This is Bill. Idea to get to work faster: Zip lines. You see, you hop on a zip line from your apartment. Boom..you’re zippin’ right to the front door at work. Save money on gas, get to work in under a minute!

  16. Michael Keaton Suspended By Wires Birdman Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Words I saw in this picture include: “gay crane, raise plow, and absurd.”

  17. Sara Jean Underwood Butt Thong Cleavage Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    um, yeah

  18. Nicole Kidman Cleavage Zulu Premiere Closing Night Ceremony Cannes
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    Creeps me out every time I see her.

  19. Shia LaBeouf Martial Arts Class Sitting On Sidewalk No Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I swear I was famous…what happened?”

  20. Minnie Driver Son Henry Balloon Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Giant penis balloon backpack and…..jazz hands. Someone has a talk coming.

  21. Will Smith Hugging Soccer Player UEFA Champions Festival
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    Will, no! Remember, Jada is in an open marriage. You’re in the closet.

  22. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    One of them didn’t get the “we’re going in goofy hair” tweet.

  23. Corey Feldman Michael Jackson Costume Stand By Me Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he’s trying out the Micheal Jackson mic stand.

  24. Brooke Shields Crazy Face Yellow Eyes Hamptons Magazine Cover Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    This isn’t doing much for my Hampton.

  25. Amber Rose Cleavage Swimsuit Post Baby Body Ditch Fridays Palms Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m 100% certain that 10 seconds earlier she was scratching her anus

  26. Roman Polanski Emmanuelle Seigner Cleavage La Venus A La Fourrure Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Rapist.

  27. Melanie Griffith Lifeball
    Commented on this photo:

    ALL RIGHT, all right, jesus…I’ll wear sunblock. Enough with the shock ads.

  28. Michael Bolton Fox & Friends Summer Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    What a no-talent ass clown.

  29. Adam Lambert Hammer Pants Eye Make Up Vienna Lifeball
    Commented on this photo:

    MC Hammer and Dave Navarro’s uber-gay love child.

  30. Taylor Lautner With Girl Dodgers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST! Taylor Lautner has his mouth closed. I expect a hail of frogs will be next.

  31. Adam Lambert Hammer Pants Eye Make Up Vienna Lifeball
    Commented on this photo:

    Beware, Viennese evildoers! It’s Fruit Bat!

  32. David Faustino Much Taller Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Dinklage Faustino.

  33. David Hasselhoff Hayley Roberts Grand Prix Of Monaco
    Commented on this photo:

    Girls can see past anything….for money.

  34. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    The look ready to watch some hunger games…

  35. Brooke Shields Crazy Face Yellow Eyes Hamptons Magazine Cover Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit, enough! I said I’d wear sunblock.

  36. Sara Jean Underwood Butt Thong Cleavage Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    They botched her nosejob, ugh. Her nose was fine before the surgery.

  37. David Faustino Much Taller Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s the smile of a guy who’s just glad to be recognized.

  38. Leonardo DiCaprio Cameron Diaz Tag Heuer Yacht Party
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are you sure you don’t want me to turn around?”
    “Positive.”

  39. Michael Keaton Suspended By Wires Birdman Set
    Commented on this photo:

    So…his name is “plow”?

  40. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Forget the acid-wash jeans, can I get some acid in my face, to burn that image out of my head?!

  41. Uma Thurman Zulu Premiere Closing Night Ceremony Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, I admit I haven’t seen EVERY boob…but I’m pretty sure they’re not supposed to be shaped that way.

  42. Adam Lambert Hammer Pants Eye Make Up Vienna Lifeball
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    Now THAT’S gay!

  43. Taylor Lautner With Girl Dodgers Game
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, I’m so tired of that dick four seats over. Keeps running his mouth how high-energy particles cannot generate a true vacuum… Oh, look, hot dog!

  44. Taylor Lautner With Girl Dodgers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Although friends insisted it was completely unnecessary, Taylor opted for the “Polanski” method of female seduction.

  45. Roman Polanski Emmanuelle Seigner Cleavage La Venus A La Fourrure Premiere Cannes
    carpaltunnel
    Commented on this photo:

    she had such a hot ass in ‘the ninth gate’.

  46. Carmen Electra Butt Whores Vienna Lifeball
    Batu Khan
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks good in Vegas not Vienna.

  47. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    “So we took the express elevator from the penthouse while the makeup girl was spraying Tida’s hair and….”

  48. Will Smith Hugging Soccer Player UEFA Champions Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr.Smith, the use of a shield in dodgeball is against the rules….”

  49. Candice Swanepoel Butt Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Sales of Bud Light will now increase exponentially.

  50. Halle Berry Cleavage Bra Pregnant Belly See Through Shirt Disneyland
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Goofy, laying in a pool of blood with his big, buck teeth kicked in.

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