The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.13.14

May 13th, 2014 // 355 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m safe under Emily Ratajkowski‘s butt to put any words at all down here since nobody’s around, so I think I’ll do today’s jokes in the style of Donald Sterling. What could go wrong? Take a look at Wesley Snipes here, convicted tax cheat and yet he’s on red carpets acting like he’s not going to talk through the whole movie. And what about Jada Pinkawhatever? I can’t even pronounce that one, but I heard she’s fine with her teenage daughter posting pornographic pictures online! Where’s the outrage for her, or should we ask the grandmother who’s probably raising her anyway? It really doesn’t seem fair to me. I’m almost as sad over this as Jonah Hill was when the waitress told him the fryer was broken.

*rereads post, worries, remembers Donald Sterling is a pile of dogshit in the rain, clicks publish,*

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Fan Bingbing Hugh Jackman X Men Days Of Future Past Beijing Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess he shouldn’t have said “May I push in you’re stool ?”

  2. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s got a ‘serious’ appetite.

  3. Coco Side Boob Butt Minidress Coco & The Vanity Vixens Show Red Carpet
    Commented on this photo:

    A breath of fresh air. My charming Coco.

  4. Terrence Howard Sandals Wife Mira Christine Pak
    Commented on this photo:

    why would a woman marry him after he was arrested for beating up his last wife, what was it, a year ago?

  5. Perla Hudson Nipple Slip Slash MusiCares MAP Fund Benefit Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t bear to see him and Axl like this anymore. They were so glorious and now the talent has been drained from their flabby bellies.

  6. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    Lasagna hog
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is it happy hour yet? …is it happy hour yet? …”

  7. Emmy Rossum Butt Tight Dress the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Yuuuuup, that’d stop me in my tracks.

  8. Courtney Love Drunk Cleavage Legs Minidress Back Of Cab
    ultra
    Commented on this photo:

    what a vision of loveliness.

  9. Katherine Heigl Alfre Woodard Pointing At Cameras NBC Upront Presentation
    ultra
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alfre, I’m going to murder that hobo.”
    “Katherine, that’s Johnny Depp.”

  10. Courtney Love Drunk Cleavage Legs Minidress Back Of Cab
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    “What street did you say again, miss?”

    “HEROIN!”

  11. Fan Bingbing Hugh Jackman X Men Days Of Future Past Beijing Press Conference
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s wondering if he should get Chinese tonight.

  12. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst Godfather movie ever.

  13. Terrence Howard Sandals Wife Mira Christine Pak
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, judging by the lack of bruises on her face, I’m guessing she had his money?

  14. Jada Pinkett Smith Muscular Cleavage
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Are her breasts starting to fuse together??

  15. Will Forte Scruffy Beard
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a new character for SNL?

    Oh, he’s not on SNL anymore?

    Oh boy.

  16. Kylie Jenner Legs Short Shorts Covering Face
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Mommy’s little whore is growing up so fast.

  17. Selena Gomez Cleavage American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweetie, you need to be accompanied by a parent. Is your mommy here?

  18. Fan Bingbing Hugh Jackman X Men Days Of Future Past Beijing Press Conference
    Sancho
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I come around yo city BING BING!

  19. Fan Bingbing Hugh Jackman X Men Days Of Future Past Beijing Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he giving her a haircut?

  20. Emmy Rossum Butt Tight Dress the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Definitely underrated. Maybe this will give her a boost. It sure gave me one in my pants.

  21. Katherine Heigl Alfre Woodard Pointing At Cameras NBC Upront Presentation
    Commented on this photo:

    Strangely enough, I would do both of them.

  22. Misty Copleand Nipple Pasties See Through Dress American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    The only thing I don’t like about this girl is my cocks not in her.

  23. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m sorry, Mr. Hill, but the buffet ended at 2:00.”

  24. Kelly Osbourne Wiping Off Ozzy Osbourne Mouth MusiCares MAP Fund Benefit Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that’s the sign of a healthy, loving marriage: helping your spouse to reattach his lip when it falls off.

  25. Donald Trump Shannon Airport Dublin
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m amazed at how much he looks like Donald Sterling. It’s like old rich bigots are Lego people with one face and a bunch of bolt-on hairstyles.

  26. Rita Moreno Kissing Ricky Martin People 50 Most Beautiful Issue Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, Ricky, you’re my favorite grandson. But when are you going to find yourself a nice girl and settle down?”

  27. Jada Pinkett Smith Muscular Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Guess Mom was right when she said if I kept using my tits as balloon animals, they’d freeze that way.”

  28. Kylie Jenner Legs Short Shorts Covering Face
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ugh, stupid paparazzi, can’t you just LEAVE ME ALONE?”

    “Shouldn’t you be holding your purse up higher to shield your face if you don’t want your picture taken?”

    “Shut up.”

  29. Lea Michele Nipple Slip Fox Upronts Party
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s an easy mistake to make. I don’t know how many red carpet events I’ve accidentally shown up to in my half-kimono.

  30. Selena Gomez Cleavage American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress makes her look stumpier than Heather Mills.

  31. Perla Hudson Nipple Slip Slash MusiCares MAP Fund Benefit Concert
    alexxx3488
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only person who scratched at their screen for a solid 30 seconds before realizing that her nipple wasn’t a smudge?

  32. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    Two great Sirs, one enjoys being a Queen and the other a ST Captain?(in the nicest way)

  33. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll have what they’re having.”
    “Who, sir?”
    “Everyone.”

  34. Donald Trump Shannon Airport Dublin
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like Rob Ford’s poop.

  35. Will Forte Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    I call this look the “Dirty Mel”.

  36. Angelina Jolie White Powder Face Makeup Malfunction Brad Pitt The Normal Heart Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    so sad brad didnt age well at all

  37. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    Commented on this photo:

    having a whale of a time

  38. Coco Side Boob Butt Minidress Coco & The Vanity Vixens Show Red Carpet
    Commented on this photo:

    queen of trash

  39. Will Forte Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    oh god i thought it was a washed up Ashton Kutcher

  40. Jennifer Lopez Butt Tight White Pants Nuvo TV Upfronts
    Commented on this photo:

    beeeyotch

  41. Selena Gomez Cleavage American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    designer/wardrobe stylist needs to be fired

  42. Donald Trump Shannon Airport Dublin
    Padraic
    Commented on this photo:

    The one thing that could look worse than Courtney Love.

  43. Katherine Heigl Alfre Woodard Pointing At Cameras NBC Upront Presentation
    Ron Burgundy
    Commented on this photo:

    I think your career went that way dear!

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