The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.13.14

May 13th, 2014 // 355 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m safe under Emily Ratajkowski‘s butt to put any words at all down here since nobody’s around, so I think I’ll do today’s jokes in the style of Donald Sterling. What could go wrong? Take a look at Wesley Snipes here, convicted tax cheat and yet he’s on red carpets acting like he’s not going to talk through the whole movie. And what about Jada Pinkawhatever? I can’t even pronounce that one, but I heard she’s fine with her teenage daughter posting pornographic pictures online! Where’s the outrage for her, or should we ask the grandmother who’s probably raising her anyway? It really doesn’t seem fair to me. I’m almost as sad over this as Jonah Hill was when the waitress told him the fryer was broken.

*rereads post, worries, remembers Donald Sterling is a pile of dogshit in the rain, clicks publish,*

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Katherine Heigl Alfre Woodard Pointing At Cameras NBC Upront Presentation
    Chaz
    Commented on this photo:

    A bit confused, and unaware that they are staring into a mirror…
    “Hey is that Oprah”
    “No, it’s Ashley Judd!”
    “What the fuck just happened?”

  2. Wesley Snipes Double Peace Sign X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    “I Am Not A Crook!” (anymore)

  3. Sharon Osbourne Yelling Into Cellphone
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ozzy, do NOT put that into your mouth you bastard!”

  4. Kylie Jenner Legs Short Shorts Covering Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Mom jeans are still mom jeans even if you cut the legs off of them, honey.

  5. Emily Ratajkowski Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy God….

  6. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you get any cooler than these two, probably not.

  7. Donald Trump Shannon Airport Dublin
    Commented on this photo:

    OOMPA LOOMPAS, I AM TRUMP AND I AM YOUR KING!

  8. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    Commented on this photo:

    “The movie’s done Jonah, you need to stop calling me, okay?”

  9. Emmy Rossum Butt Tight Dress the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Anastasia Ashley her trainer?

  10. Donald Trump Shannon Airport Dublin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Birth certificate, birth certificate, why won’t anyone listen to me?”

  11. Katherine Heigl Alfre Woodard Pointing At Cameras NBC Upront Presentation
    Commented on this photo:

    Katherine Heigl is blocking my view of Alfre Woodward. Looooove Alfre Woodard.

  12. Emily Ratajkowski Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    With a name like Ratajkowski , it’s GOT to be good.

  13. Selena Gomez Cleavage American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so close to being hot, but just never quite makes the cut.

  14. Emily Ratajkowski Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    There is no one sexier than she is. What I wouldn’t do to be with her.

  15. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    The two coolest men on the planet. It should be illegal for that much awesome to be in one place at one time, but thankfully for us it isn’t.

  16. Lea Michele Nipple Slip Fox Upronts Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She simply refuses to cover those babies up and I say more power to her. They are her bast feature by far and she should share it with the world.

  17. Kelly Osbourne Wiping Off Ozzy Osbourne Mouth MusiCares MAP Fund Benefit Concert
    Squab
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently, Angelina needed Kelly Osborne around.

  18. Angelina Jolie White Powder Face Makeup Malfunction Brad Pitt The Normal Heart Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    The makeup is falling off and revealing that she truly is Maleficent.

  19. Courtney Love Drunk Cleavage Legs Minidress Back Of Cab
    Commented on this photo:

    That Nirvana money has kept her neck deep in cocaine for that last 20 years.

  20. Selena Gomez Cleavage American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Chaz
    Commented on this photo:

    Her puffy face looks like it just got stung by a Bieber.

  21. Lea Michele Nipple Slip Fox Upronts Party
    Ralph
    Commented on this photo:

    Show me your Tits!! Oh, you are.

  22. Khloe Kardashian Swinging On Trapeze
    Commented on this photo:

    The nursery rhyme never said anything about the cow using a trapeze to jump over the moon.

  23. Candice Swanepoel Nipples No Bra Doutzen Kroes Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn baby’s ruining the shot.

  24. Emmy Rossum Butt Tight Dress the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s perfect all around.

  25. Coco Side Boob Butt Minidress Coco & The Vanity Vixens Show Red Carpet
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh yes. I love her.

  26. Terrence Howard Sandals Wife Mira Christine Pak
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing’s better than a sexy Asian woman. And she is fucking sexy.

  27. Terrence Howard Sandals Wife Mira Christine Pak
    Commented on this photo:

    Her purse is full of baby wipes.

  28. Courtney Love Drunk Cleavage Legs Minidress Back Of Cab
    Commented on this photo:

    did you ever see that video of the hyena eating the asshole of the dead bloated elephant, and then the guts explode?

    I’m looking for that video right now to get THIS image out of my head.

  29. Ke$ha Bra See Through Top Green Sunglasses JFK Airport
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever she’s doing, she needs to keep doing it. She’s never looked better. Now you guys will agree with me when I said I would.

  30. Emily Ratajkowski Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfect in EVERY way!

  31. Misty Copleand Nipple Pasties See Through Dress American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    if she needs pasties that big…how big are her real nipples?

  32. Lea Michele Nipple Slip Fox Upronts Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I enjoy her. Her craven desperation to be noticed is funny. Like when her boyfriend died and she was putting pictures of her ass on Instagram a week later. It’s smart, really. She sees the wheels on that Glee gravy train flying off and she wants to build an audience for that inevitable sex tape.

  33. Lea Michele Nipple Slip Fox Upronts Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Face down, tit out…only way it’s acceptable with this fug.

  34. Ke$ha Bra See Through Top Green Sunglasses JFK Airport
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies, do you find yourself lacking motivation to stay in shape? Just hire Kesha’s manager. For the low, low cost of $19.99, he’ll come to your house and call you a “fucking fridge”. You’ll be living at the gym before you know it.

    Side effects may include crippling depression, alcoholism and becoming Kesha.

  35. Emmy Rossum Butt Tight Dress the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I know an AD who’s worked with her several times who says she’s a major bitch! BUT, I couldn’t care less about that!! I love this chick, she’s freakin’ HOT!!!

  36. Wesley Snipes Double Peace Sign X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    …oh shit …”speak of the devil, and he shall appear”

  37. Jada Pinkett Smith Muscular Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m torn on this one. On the one hand , I’m Don Zaloog, so I would. On the other hand she’s Jada Pinkett Smith, so I wouldn’t.

  38. Will Forte Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    ♫MacGruber! He tried to sell his blood, but it’s tainted with heroin.♫

  39. Rita Moreno Kissing Ricky Martin People 50 Most Beautiful Issue Event
    Commented on this photo:

    …that flash in the pan pop star motherfucker better not be patronizing the great ms. moreno…

  40. Angelina Jolie White Powder Face Makeup Malfunction Brad Pitt The Normal Heart Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, now we know how she got Pitt to ditch his wife, adopt 18 kids and take up with someone that has had Billy Bob Thornton inside them: She’s made of cocaine.

  41. Kylie Jenner Legs Short Shorts Covering Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Her sex tape is gonna be EPIC!

  42. Will Forte Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    …he just saw his future.

  43. Kelly Osbourne Wiping Off Ozzy Osbourne Mouth MusiCares MAP Fund Benefit Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    Are her cheeks stuffed with Jujy Fruit?

  44. Sharon Osbourne Yelling Into Cellphone
    Commented on this photo:

    [sound of an enraged male goose]

  45. Misty Copleand Nipple Pasties See Through Dress American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    …seriously??? ya’ll are clowning THIS??? this chick is fucking GORgeous!!! do you really give a shit about some arm hair and pasties??? c’MON…
    http://sincerelyjess.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/20140413-133814.jpg

  46. Selena Gomez Cleavage American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Or you could go buy a dress.

  47. Misty Copleand Nipple Pasties See Through Dress American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck the arm hair and the pasties, I’d get all up in dat ass.

  48. Selena Gomez Cleavage American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Stupid dress, derp face and tainted by Beiber. Pass. Next!

  49. Angelina Jolie White Powder Face Makeup Malfunction Brad Pitt The Normal Heart Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    5 seconds later Lindsay was seen trying to lick Angelina’s face.

  50. Fan Bingbing Hugh Jackman X Men Days Of Future Past Beijing Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF, Glamour Shots?

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