The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.13.14

May 13th, 2014 // 355 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m safe under Emily Ratajkowski‘s butt to put any words at all down here since nobody’s around, so I think I’ll do today’s jokes in the style of Donald Sterling. What could go wrong? Take a look at Wesley Snipes here, convicted tax cheat and yet he’s on red carpets acting like he’s not going to talk through the whole movie. And what about Jada Pinkawhatever? I can’t even pronounce that one, but I heard she’s fine with her teenage daughter posting pornographic pictures online! Where’s the outrage for her, or should we ask the grandmother who’s probably raising her anyway? It really doesn’t seem fair to me. I’m almost as sad over this as Jonah Hill was when the waitress told him the fryer was broken.

*rereads post, worries, remembers Donald Sterling is a pile of dogshit in the rain, clicks publish,*

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jada Pinkett Smith Muscular Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought we’d seen the last of False Face when Adam West hung up his cape and cowl.

  2. Ke$ha Bra See Through Top Green Sunglasses JFK Airport
    pbjelly
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey piggy! Lose some weight you hippo!!

  3. Misty Copleand Nipple Pasties See Through Dress American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    You don’t see furry female arms on the red carpet often enough but it seems inappropriate for warm weather.

  4. Emmy Rossum Butt Tight Dress the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    huckleberry
    Commented on this photo:

    Just got more respect for ‘ol Emmy. DAT ASS

  5. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, these dudes can fucking dress !

  6. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “Patrick, there’s no way they’re casting you as the Joker in the new Batman film.”

  7. Wesley Snipes Double Peace Sign X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    maoix
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Depends on what your definition of “pay taxes” is.’

  8. Lea Michele Nipple Slip Fox Upronts Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Upfronts, downfronts – either one is fine…

  9. Jada Pinkett Smith Muscular Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    For someone with so much money, how does she have the worst tits in Hollywood?

  10. Katherine Heigl Alfre Woodard Pointing At Cameras NBC Upront Presentation
    timmy
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what anyone says – she’s soooooo hot. What a body.

    • JC

      I wanted to bang the hell out of her back in her “Roswell” days. But then she decided to make 7,000 versions of the same shitty romantic comedy and generally act like an asshole. It takes a toll on the hotness quotient.

      (Fine, I still would. But I’m a pig.)

    • Well yeah, banging women we hate is what makes us men.

    • JimBB

      She would look a lot better wearing a muzzle.

  11. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    Coolness X 2.

  12. Lea Michele Nipple Slip Fox Upronts Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Another children’s awards show?

  13. Terrence Howard Sandals Wife Mira Christine Pak
    Commented on this photo:

    What we have here, little yellow sister, is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama black snake. But it ain’t too goddamn beaucoup.

  14. Jada Pinkett Smith Muscular Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    To paraphrase Jada herself: there is nothing sexual about this picture.

  15. Donald Trump Shannon Airport Dublin
    Commented on this photo:

    “If I stand in front of this red background, no one will see me.”

  16. Courtney Love Drunk Cleavage Legs Minidress Back Of Cab
    Commented on this photo:

    After all these years no one wants to nail her, no one? Any takers? Take one for the team?

  17. Angelina Jolie White Powder Face Makeup Malfunction Brad Pitt The Normal Heart Screening
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Always said she looked like a skeleton wearing flesh tone makeup.

  18. Misty Copleand Nipple Pasties See Through Dress American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    If I had to choose between “World might see my real nipples” and “World sees photos of me with what look like moon nipples,” I’d choose the risk of real nipples.

  19. Ke$ha Bra See Through Top Green Sunglasses JFK Airport
    Commented on this photo:

    Thought it was an Olsen

  20. Misty Copleand Nipple Pasties See Through Dress American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought I was a hairy chimp with big nipples.

  21. Donald Trump Shannon Airport Dublin
    stevebrt
    Commented on this photo:

    I know my country is small but Shannon is about 120 miles from Dublin in a different province on the opposite coast also I believe we found one of your missing mental patients

  22. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m feeling a bit bloated, I’ll just take the right side of the menu for lunch. I’ll be back for the left at 4th meal.”

  23. Wesley Snipes Double Peace Sign X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    Snipes as an older Bishop would have worked just fine for me.

  24. Selena Gomez Cleavage American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Awww! Is it time for the 7th grade dance tonight??

  25. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    Commented on this photo:

    ” If there isn’t something deep fried in front of me in 5 minutes I will go off on the cook!”

  26. Emily Ratajkowski Butt Bikini Instagram
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    idk if i’m even going to make it to the other pictures at this point…

  27. Jonah Hill Angry Face Hugos
    rstak
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thanks for meeting me at Hugo’s. Speaking of Hugo, have I told you about my friend Marty?”

  28. Lea Michele Nipple Slip Fox Upronts Party
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    The body is nice. The head…not so much.

  29. Kylie Jenner Legs Short Shorts Covering Face
    YadaYada
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like she got the worst parts from each sister: Kendall’s mosquito bite breasts, Khloe’s fug face and meaty legs, Kim’s lack of shame.

  30. Angelina Jolie White Powder Face Makeup Malfunction Brad Pitt The Normal Heart Screening
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Why didn’t someone adjust her color contrast? For Pete’s sake, the instructions are right there on her arm.

  31. Angelina Jolie White Powder Face Makeup Malfunction Brad Pitt The Normal Heart Screening
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    she was hot in hackers.
    after that, i just didn’t really give a fuck.

  32. Courtney Love Drunk Cleavage Legs Minidress Back Of Cab
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m sorry to say, i thought she was actually cute in the larry flynt movie…..

  33. Emily Ratajkowski Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    perfection that name is dat ass !!!

  34. Jada Pinkett Smith Muscular Cleavage
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s enough man for the entire family

  35. Lea Michele Nipple Slip Fox Upronts Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Not Emily but hey I will take the hit and do her for the team!!!

  36. Fan Bingbing Hugh Jackman X Men Days Of Future Past Beijing Press Conference
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    “How’s she going to do my nails when she’s facing forward like that?”

  37. Fan Bingbing Hugh Jackman X Men Days Of Future Past Beijing Press Conference
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    so the yellow shirts went and convinced wolverine to finally deal with yingluck shinawatra once and for all.

  38. Emmy Rossum Butt Tight Dress the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok ok you win I will just whip it out already, today’s list is making me happy in the pants

  39. Wesley Snipes Double Peace Sign X Men Days Of Future Past Premiere London
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Despite his best lobbying efforts during the premiere, Wesley’s “Air Quotes Man” won’t be on the X-Men team in the sequel.

  40. Kelly Osbourne Wiping Off Ozzy Osbourne Mouth MusiCares MAP Fund Benefit Concert
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    its like the king’s speach.
    he cannot speak to save his life.
    but he can still sing as brilliantly as ever.

  41. Katherine Heigl Alfre Woodard Pointing At Cameras NBC Upront Presentation
    Commented on this photo:

    -”Look, he faps! He faps!”
    -”Him? He a loser, girl!”

  42. Khloe Kardashian Swinging On Trapeze
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, just wear a fucking shirt so we don’t have to see your pink bra. It’s not sexy. It never will be. Knock that shit off.

  43. Donald Trump Shannon Airport Dublin
    Commented on this photo:

    Idiot.

  44. Jada Pinkett Smith Muscular Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo is also not sexy.

  45. Emmy Rossum Butt Tight Dress the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    love her.

  46. Will Forte Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    Tim Calhoun will always be my favorite SNL character.

  47. Perla Hudson Nipple Slip Slash MusiCares MAP Fund Benefit Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    Cliches become cliches for a reason.

  48. Donald Trump Shannon Airport Dublin
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    count chocula goes to the airport.

  49. Selena Gomez Cleavage American Ballet Theatre Opening Night 2014 Spring Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Time for the next Bieber reconciliation

Leave A Comment