Is there nothing he won’t fuck?

“I wanna put me balls on it I do”

I hope that thing bites his junk off.

if only turtles were deadly predators. Or if instead of a turtle, that was a great white shark. Or, if someone just shot him in the face. It’s all good.

Katy looks like SHIT without makeup….

What an ugly beast!

The turtle is cute, though.

Seems about par for him.

Milk duds for nipples

Whoever photoshopped that Grey Goose bottle to look like an Aquafina instead is a goddamn artistic genius.

That poor poor turtle

I’m going to live 130 years, and yet this is the most demeaning moment of my life.

It’s a tortoise you fucking morons

why is he out in public in katy’s pajamas?

subtly giving us his thoughts on a monogamous marriage?

Where’s the PETA crowd when you really need some yelling & fake blood tossed on a douchebag?

Gee, Russell Brand looking and acting like a fool? The paparazzi must have the patience of a saint to capture a moment like this.

Poor tortoise. I feel depressed now

The look on that tortoise’s face says it all, and it clearly says, “No means no.”

You know what I like about this shot? The tortoise and the hair.

The beads, the see-through shirt & lavender clown pants, the tortoise humping… it’s a Mardi Gras float gone horribly wrong.

Must…make…it…to…alligator…pond…

L O S E R. That is all Russell Brand is. A lucky loser. Not funny. Can barely understand what he says, looks like a nerd in gym class but some how tricked Katy ” The Breast” Perry into marrying him.

what a cute turtle

Where’s PETA when you need them?

Can we please go a day without having to look at this guy?

We get it, Russell- you like to ride slow things.

Awww, that tortoise is so freaking adorable!

Oh, look at him. He’s just crazy! He’s out of control, this guy! Him and Jack Black, they’re NUTS!

Blech….

Pero que idiota!

Honestly? If I saw him doing this there’s a pretty good chance I’d punch in the fuckin’ face. Really.