The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 4.5.11

April 5th, 2011 // 549 Comments

Can’t believe Common let that slip through his fingers really, really loose bear hug.

And now for today’s The Crap We Missed: Jesse Spano and A.C. Slater have finally reconciled after the Hot Sundae/diet pill incident. Tara Reid gets asked to sign autographs? Heidi Montag‘s new reality show stars Danielle Staub, and Peter Dinklage trying to hail a cab which I will apparently laugh at every single time because I’m a dick.

No, seriously, how he does not get run over? Is it magic? I bet it’s magic,

- The Superficial

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Photos: Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Tori Spelling
    SourGrapes
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Nathan Lane start doing The Birdcage again?

  2. Serena Williams Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    her hat says “Just Do It” but the rest of her says “just throw up”

  3. Justin Bieber
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Soccer? Right.
    He should be curling, eh.

  4. Tori Spelling
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Tori: “I am not drunk, I’m just exhausted from being up all night drinking.”

  5. Serena Williams Bikini
    Austin Powers
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a man; Baby

  6. Tori Spelling
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Whadya know.
    Money can’t buy happiness OR looks. Or boobs.

  7. Aubrey O'Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Save the cheerleader!

  8. Elizabeth Berkley Mario Lopez
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    I have never seen a man more uncomfortable with having a woman’s hands on him. Ever. And I’ve been to Perez Hilton’s page.

  9. Elizabeth Berkley Mario Lopez
    Euroman
    Commented on this photo:

    Lost & Loser (Take your pick which is which)

  10. Serena Williams Bikini
    Simole
    Commented on this photo:

    This makes my penis cry.

  11. Tori Spelling
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    The first thing that popped into my head when I saw this was the sound of a goat.

  12. Gary Shirley
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Solo! Hay lapa no ya, Solo!

  13. Gary Shirley
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m trying to understand how this guy could actually impregnate a woman. I figure he was sitting on the toilet in the dark, Amber came in to pee and sat on him.

  14. Serena Williams Bikini
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Fast forward 10 years, when she ain’t working out daily.
    She will look like an NFL lineman 2 years out of the league.
    Sitting on the porch crushing tub after tub of Popeye’s.

  15. Aubrey O'Day
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeeeee! Whoa! Something’s wrong here. Push those tits together girl! ‘the fuck?!

  16. Aubrey O'Day
    Simole
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to make a joke about her but I have no idea who she is.

  17. Katie Couric
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    So apparently CBS ages you in the same way that meth does. Yep, that makes sense.

  18. Katie Couric
    Commented on this photo:

    Rumsfeld?!

  19. Heidi Montag Danielle Staub
    Simole
    Commented on this photo:

    Staub was overheard to have said “OMG! I want my tan to be that dark.”

  20. Heidi Montag Danielle Staub
    Commented on this photo:

    Star Wars: The Crone Wars

  21. Tori Spelling
    Simole
    Commented on this photo:

    Tori Spelling at the Starved of Oxygen Media Upfronts in New York City.

  22. Aubrey O'Day
    linds
    Commented on this photo:

    from the thumbnail I really thought this was Tila Tequila. Same dif.

  23. Heidi Montag Danielle Staub
    layhertease
    Commented on this photo:

    Now if we could only confirm that that is the back of Sam Jones III’s knobby little head, we’d have a regular hat trick of useless celebutard douche baggery. Or is that an unholy trinity? Meh.

  24. Justin Bieber
    RandaI
    Commented on this photo:

    UNICEF is the world’s leading advocate and charitable organization for children. Polio affects all ages of children. Through your generous donation Justin here may by able to lock and pop again.

  25. Gary Shirley
    Simole
    Commented on this photo:

    Oooooooo, a diamond earring. That’s proof right there that you can’t polish a dog turd.

  26. Tara Reid
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually looks great there.

  27. Gary Shirley
    halfpintkilla
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG is that blood on his face?! nope, just ketchup. NOM NOM NOM

  28. Tori Spelling
    Deuce
    Commented on this photo:

    And this is why women who get boob jobs should also get face-lifts, those jugs are going to bring everything else down

  29. Gary Shirley
    RandaI
    Commented on this photo:

    Fashion and health – these are my priorities.

  30. Kate Bosworth
    Commented on this photo:

    You can imagine her bald.

  31. Tori Spelling
    Commented on this photo:

    “HHHHhnnnnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeyyy”

  32. Serena Williams Bikini
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    Take your pick…

    a. John Amos from “Good Times”…where you been, bro?
    b. Banging her would be considered beastiality.
    c. She’s saying, “Banana anyone?”

    I just couldn’t decide.

  33. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe he’s bleeding because he tried to stick his diamond stud in his cheek before deciding on his jugular.

  34. Elizabeth Berkley Mario Lopez
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what’s scary? They both peaked at “Saved by the Bell”.
    Think about that.

  35. Serena Williams Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She may be female, but there must be an extra “Y” chromosome wandering loose in there somewhere.

  36. Gary Shirley
    SuperT
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s a tip. A beard is no substitute for a jawline, no matter how you trim it..

  37. Aubrey O'Day
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    If he/she takes the dress off, do the tits sag or rest safely on his/her dick?

  38. Peter Dinklage
    Crapster
    Commented on this photo:

    I clicked on the “View Full Size” link. It didn’t make a difference.

  39. Katie Couric
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, are you fucking kidding me? We’ll be seeing this one on “Celebrities Without Makeup” sites for years and years.

    She looks like Robert Redford…thirty years ago.

  40. Aubrey O'Day
    Deuce
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s amazing is, her boobs are the least fake part about her

  41. Tori Spelling
    Sarakiel
    Commented on this photo:

    hmm… that’s about right.

  42. Justin Bieber
    sean
    Commented on this photo:

    its called football ya dickkkkkk

  43. Elizabeth Berkley Mario Lopez
    RayRay's Nubbin
    Commented on this photo:

    hard to tell who shaves more

  44. Sophie Monk
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d piss in her pooper. But I’m going to need a funnel.

  45. Tara Reid
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    **Over PA system** “Mad Dog 20/20 would like to thank Tara Reid for introducing our newest flavor…Tangy Felchfruit!”

  46. mupps

    Is she going to jam that thumb up some unlucky bastards chocolate starfish for daring to take her photo?

  47. Elizabeth Berkley Mario Lopez
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe her career didn’t really take off after Showgirls. I saw that as a breakthrough role.

  48. Kayne East

    “Does this ass make by bikini look small?”

  49. Ali Larter
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still give her the whip cream special.

  50. Justin Bieber
    toolazytothinkofaname
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does it look more like the wax sculpture he fondled a week or two ago than a real person?

    • The Critical Crassness

      Because it is the wax sculpture. The little gay prick is in his hotel room hiding from all those dirty little female fans.

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