The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 4.5.11

When did Nathan Lane start doing The Birdcage again?

her hat says “Just Do It” but the rest of her says “just throw up”

Soccer? Right.
He should be curling, eh.

Tori: “I am not drunk, I’m just exhausted from being up all night drinking.”

She is a man; Baby

Whadya know.
Money can’t buy happiness OR looks. Or boobs.

Save the cheerleader!

I have never seen a man more uncomfortable with having a woman’s hands on him. Ever. And I’ve been to Perez Hilton’s page.

Lost & Loser (Take your pick which is which)

This makes my penis cry.

The first thing that popped into my head when I saw this was the sound of a goat.

Solo! Hay lapa no ya, Solo!

I’m trying to understand how this guy could actually impregnate a woman. I figure he was sitting on the toilet in the dark, Amber came in to pee and sat on him.

Fast forward 10 years, when she ain’t working out daily.
She will look like an NFL lineman 2 years out of the league.
Sitting on the porch crushing tub after tub of Popeye’s.

Yeeeee! Whoa! Something’s wrong here. Push those tits together girl! ‘the fuck?!

I want to make a joke about her but I have no idea who she is.

So apparently CBS ages you in the same way that meth does. Yep, that makes sense.

Rumsfeld?!

Staub was overheard to have said “OMG! I want my tan to be that dark.”

Star Wars: The Crone Wars

Tori Spelling at the Starved of Oxygen Media Upfronts in New York City.

from the thumbnail I really thought this was Tila Tequila. Same dif.

Now if we could only confirm that that is the back of Sam Jones III’s knobby little head, we’d have a regular hat trick of useless celebutard douche baggery. Or is that an unholy trinity? Meh.

UNICEF is the world’s leading advocate and charitable organization for children. Polio affects all ages of children. Through your generous donation Justin here may by able to lock and pop again.

Oooooooo, a diamond earring. That’s proof right there that you can’t polish a dog turd.

She actually looks great there.

OMG is that blood on his face?! nope, just ketchup. NOM NOM NOM

And this is why women who get boob jobs should also get face-lifts, those jugs are going to bring everything else down

Fashion and health – these are my priorities.

You can imagine her bald.

“HHHHhnnnnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeyyy”

Take your pick…

a. John Amos from “Good Times”…where you been, bro?
b. Banging her would be considered beastiality.
c. She’s saying, “Banana anyone?”

I just couldn’t decide.

Maybe he’s bleeding because he tried to stick his diamond stud in his cheek before deciding on his jugular.

You know what’s scary? They both peaked at “Saved by the Bell”.
Think about that.

She may be female, but there must be an extra “Y” chromosome wandering loose in there somewhere.

Here’s a tip. A beard is no substitute for a jawline, no matter how you trim it..

If he/she takes the dress off, do the tits sag or rest safely on his/her dick?

I clicked on the “View Full Size” link. It didn’t make a difference.

Holy shit, are you fucking kidding me? We’ll be seeing this one on “Celebrities Without Makeup” sites for years and years.

She looks like Robert Redford…thirty years ago.

What’s amazing is, her boobs are the least fake part about her

hmm… that’s about right.

its called football ya dickkkkkk

hard to tell who shaves more

I’d piss in her pooper. But I’m going to need a funnel.

**Over PA system** “Mad Dog 20/20 would like to thank Tara Reid for introducing our newest flavor…Tangy Felchfruit!”

I can’t believe her career didn’t really take off after Showgirls. I saw that as a breakthrough role.

I’d still give her the whip cream special.

Why does it look more like the wax sculpture he fondled a week or two ago than a real person?