The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 4.5.11

April 5th, 2011 // 549 Comments

Can’t believe Common let that slip through his fingers really, really loose bear hug.

And now for today’s The Crap We Missed: Jesse Spano and A.C. Slater have finally reconciled after the Hot Sundae/diet pill incident. Tara Reid gets asked to sign autographs? Heidi Montag‘s new reality show stars Danielle Staub, and Peter Dinklage trying to hail a cab which I will apparently laugh at every single time because I’m a dick.

No, seriously, how he does not get run over? Is it magic? I bet it’s magic,

- The Superficial

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Photos: Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s so enormous his face is starting to split open.

  2. Heidi Montag Danielle Staub
    Commented on this photo:

    Danielle Staub expresses surprise at finding herself sitting with “one of the help”

  3. Gary Shirley
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, whale wars is going all out this season.

  4. Heidi Montag Danielle Staub
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m not here for cigarettes or bubble gum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him?”

  5. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    “…and Leon’s getting LARGER.”

  6. Tara Reid
    Commented on this photo:

    Tara…Tara!!! sign this picture of you with your tits out!

    yes, that’s your life now. drink it in.

    • It had to be said

      That is just too awesome. Tara, Tara, remember this? I still spank it looking at this picture! Do you?

    • Turd Ferguson

      ..sign this pic with your AIRBRUSHED tits out … you cant see your alien tummy in this one.

    • The Critical Crassness

      McFeely, the real question is whose pictures are those that she is signing. She never looked that good, even when they called in the airbrush artist from, “Trick My Truck” to do the work.

  7. Keanu Reeves
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the long face?

  8. Kate Bosworth
    Commented on this photo:

    whoa…can we go back to pictures of Tara Reid? (I swear I never thought I’d use those words)

  9. Peter Dinklage
    Rough conquers passive aggressive angry birds
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one brave little person. Those Midwestern cabbies wont hesitate to run over him. Twice if he complain…

    • The Critical Crassness

      Somebody failed their geographical references exam! New York City is not in the Midwest!

  10. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    Behold the master of the “Jowl Scowl”.

  11. Tori Spelling
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “But the worst thing I ever done – I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa – and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life”

  12. Keanu Reeves
    Johnny Ball Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the long face?

  13. Tori Spelling
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess I can understand that someone who thinks showing off the worlds worst boob job is “fashion”, also thinks “full retard” is a good look for photos.

  14. Gary Shirley
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    How this thing ever convinced a female to spread her legs should go down as the 8th Wonder of the World.

    • Being 7th generation extra chromosome white trash, Gary knew that after getting laid once, there was no need to keep up his physique…he had already defied all odds.

    • “Hey Amber, I’m fat, ugly, greasy, and retarded. You’re fat, ugly, greasy, and retarded. We’re each other’s only hope.”

    • Ed

      Amber must not have a very high opinion of herself. as in, “I’m a stupid cunt who deserves to be fncked by a stupid fat greasy ugly redneck for being such a whore.”

  15. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    Was his head that shape before he got fat, or is his personal gravity pulling his face off?

  16. Serena Williams Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    On a normal day i want this chick to grind down on my cock–but damn if she isn’t starting to look like iron mike from head to toe

  17. Heidi Montag Danielle Staub
    Commented on this photo:

    Montag: *just don’t make eye contact..just don’t make eye contact.*

    Staub: “WHO LET A NI**ER IN HERE?”

  18. Tara Reid
    Shiny Stuff
    Commented on this photo:

    Watch out for the herpes on her lip!

  19. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    That diamondillium earring really classes up his image.

  20. Aubrey O'Day
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I think it is very rude to post a picture of her taken in a funhouse mirror. For shame! For shame!

  21. Gary Shirley
    Yeezy's Son
    Commented on this photo:

    Gimli trimmed the beard, huh.

  22. Serena Williams Bikini
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Has Kim Kardashian’s ass been reported stolen?

  23. Tori Spelling
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can we talk?”

  24. Katie Couric
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    My God, CBS really IS a network for old people!

  25. Heidi Montag Danielle Staub
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    While Danielle is impressed by Deshawn’s girth, Heidi maintains her streak of never having seen an actual penis by looking away at just the right moment.

  26. Serena Williams Bikini
    Bangbang
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf is this

  27. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    Excuse me miss…do you have this T-shirt in “choke a fat bastard” size?

  28. Keanu Reeves
    kalisynth
    Commented on this photo:

    is Keanu Jesus? maybe The matrix was trying to tell us something

  29. Justin Bieber
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s got little girl legs . . . oh, right.

  30. Aubrey O'Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Ak ak! Ak ak ak ak ak ak! AK AK!

  31. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess being unable to turn your neck trains you to have the eye tracking ability of a gecko.

  32. Sophie Monk
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to lungfuck her

  33. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    seriously…this dude is fat.

  34. Tara Reid
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, that’s a pretty hot looking chick, I wonder who it NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    ::penis falls to floor::

  35. Aubrey O'Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently Xtina is dropping acid by the sheet

  36. Justin Bieber
    Storm
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Jiminy Cricket?

  37. Katie Couric
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Good thing for CBS that she’s leaving the evening news. They’ll save millions on makeup.

  38. Kate Bosworth
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    About five minutes ago, I thought the fact she had two different color eyes was kind of endearing.

    Clearly, it’s a sign of some sort of advanced Terminator.

  39. Gary Shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    Amber’s looking a lot cuter these days.

    Wait, what do you mean “That’s Gary?”

  40. Keanu Reeves
    Rebecca
    Commented on this photo:

    He doens’t look nearly as bad as Johnny Depp does ALL THE TIME

  41. Keanu Reeves
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Marilyn Manson called and wants his hair back.

  42. Tori Spelling
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    So you’re saying that Aubrey O’Day was the *classier* guest at the Oxygen Media Upfronts? Huh.

  43. Gary Shirley
    PewpieDoll
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought he recently died stuck to his La-Z-boy… Wrong guy?

  44. Keanu Reeves
    Commented on this photo:

    Sigh…his “dandruff chick” isn’t even looking in his direction.

  45. Justin Bieber
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    I see the Special Olympics has a new mascot. Good for them!

  46. Sophie Monk
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, that inflatable Sophie Monk sex doll looks nearly lifelike.

  47. Gary Shirley
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    How the hell does someone with no discernible jawline have a chinstrap beard?!?

  48. Heidi Montag Danielle Staub
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    I gather they are so paralyzed from plastic surgery and botox that they hired the guy in the foreground to chew their food for them.

  49. Gary Shirley
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nobody makes Boba Fett bleed his own blood. NOBODY!!”

  50. Peter Dinklage
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Oooooh. He’s an angry Elf.

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