The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 4.3.12

April 3rd, 2012 // 395 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that I’m honestly surprised even exists today amidst the deficit of celebrity news content being led by a no name actress remaking The Blue Lagoon for Lifetime in half a bikini. Anyway, we managed to scrounge up the the sum of America’s cultural contribution to the world, as well as Marky Mark‘s ‘Save the Plane, Save the World’ face on the set of Pain and Gain, which was apparently exciting enough to make Michael Bay hump his camera rig in front of the entire crew. We also included Chris Brown exiting a Thai massage parlor, but that’s just because we’re bullies who just can’t let go of the fact that he’s a man without remorse over the time he tried to beat a girl to death, then later threw a temper-tantrum at the mention of pre-approved questions about said beating, only to repeatedly tell all of his critics to fuck off because he’s rich and then use the tragic death of a teenager to sell t-shirts via Twitter. We should really leave him alone.

Hey, Wendy Williams, you’ve got some blow broccoli in your teeth,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Chloe Sevigny Miniskirt
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Blowjob= lifetime pass.

  2. Chris Brown Massage Parlor
    Commented on this photo:

    Is beating the shit out of women not relaxing enough for him anymore?

  3. Nina Agdal Bikini
    dooood
    Commented on this photo:

    but i never really wanted to fuck axl

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5piGAFxV8E

  4. Michael Bay Camera Pain And Gain
    Run n GUn
    Commented on this photo:

    “Michael, Candice called. She said she’d do the scene with the exploding whip cream factory.”

  5. Jennifer Tilly
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Morphing into Rosie Odonnel.

  6. Mark Wahlberg White Track Suit Screaming Pain And Gain
    Jonesy
    Commented on this photo:

    Cut! Where is the fucking ball-gag! Wardrobe!

  7. Chris Brown Massage Parlor
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Thai massage parlors have the best ladyboys.

  8. Jennifer Tilly
    Run n GUn
    Commented on this photo:

    “I said MILLER Lite! Not COORS light!”

  9. Michael Bay Camera Pain And Gain
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    “More Baysplosions I said more Baysplosions goddamnit”

  10. Christie Brinkley Tight Pink Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    God Damn, Christie. When you look this good at that age (58), it’s not fair to the other starlets who look like hot shit by the time they hit 30.

    I’d fuck her.

  11. Mark Wahlberg White Track Suit Screaming Pain And Gain
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this in London? He is wearing the official uniform of the U.K.

    • spartacus

      So true, then if you were to add 250 pounds of fat on his body then this would be the uniform of choice for two thirds of the USA.

  12. Phoebe Price Cleavage Life Happens
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a reflection or scabies?

  13. Angie

    Tall, skinny, and no tits or ass + a meh face. The only saving grace is the legs. I really don’t understand all the love for that brazilian.

  14. Christie Brinkley Tight Pink Dress
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Still hotter than most 20 year olds out there. How the hell is that possible?

    • Jimbob

      Facelift, eyelift, browlift, necklift, fillers, Botox, lipo, exercise, starvation, pro makeup, pro hairstyling, capped teeth, wardrobe assistant, fraxel laser, chemical peel, Thermage, full length photo…

  15. Jill Hennessy High Slit Dress
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I can almost see her haggis.

  16. Kelly Brook Butt Tight Dress
    Jonesy
    Commented on this photo:

    Scottish style? So, she picked the onion dress up for $19.99 then?

  17. Greta Gerwig
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    She might have the worst name I have ever heard in human history.

  18. Jill Hennessy High Slit Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    I was hoping to see her snatch. No such luck.

  19. Michael Bay Camera Pain And Gain
    Jonesy
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh shit, its the old “Replace his headphones with defibrillators” gag. Nice one! Bay, you got fucking punked bitch!

  20. Wendy Williams
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That is foul.

  21. Mike Tyson
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “I swear to God, just hold it to your ear, nothing’s going to happen”

  22. Magic Johnson
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    You gonna get… derped.

  23. Jill Hennessy High Slit Dress
    jeffiner
    Commented on this photo:

    i miss the ugly jill hennessey from law and order. she looked like my junior high orchestra teacher.

  24. Nina Agdal Bikini
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Good shorts: shorts you can remove without bothering to unfasten them.

  25. Kim Kardashian Kylie Jenner Kendall Jenner Rob Kardashian Texting LAX
    Bianca
    Commented on this photo:

    Kylie: Like, One Direction is wayyy more better then The Wanted duhhh”.
    Rob: Yo mom, did you remember to tell the maid to wash my sheets?
    Kim: Hey Dolls, soooo stresed & having major dilema!!! Should I paint my toenails bright pink, light pink or light pink with a touch of bright??

  26. Christie Brinkley Tight Pink Dress
    Longshot421
    Commented on this photo:

    She may be a little bit of a nut job, and she certainly has terrible taste in husbands, but…damn. That is an INCREDIBLE looking woman, and she looks 30 years younger than she actually is. Wow.

  27. Phoebe Price Cleavage Life Happens
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Remains ever un-pretty.

  28. Jennifer Tilly
    MRF
    Commented on this photo:

    You can put lipstick on a pig, … that is all.

  29. Phoebe Price Cleavage Life Happens
    fartbucket
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d ask for it to be killed with fire but it already looks like a burn victim. I’m confused now. :(

  30. Magic Johnson
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey hey hey! It’s Faaaaat Magic!

  31. Kelly Brook Butt Tight Dress
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    I still remember her from her “Big Breakfast” days, of the wank sock took some heavy poundings those mornings.

  32. Michael Bay Camera Pain And Gain
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s my fucking lens flare!

  33. Mark Wahlberg White Track Suit Screaming Pain And Gain
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a good 3-part Miami Times article on the events this movie is based on:

    http://www.miaminewtimes.com/1999-12-23/news/pain-gain/

  34. Phoebe Price Cleavage Life Happens
    Commented on this photo:

    If someone just plays with her tits, maybe she will put them away. I nominate Photo Boy.

  35. Magic Johnson
    neo_v
    Commented on this photo:

    i’d like to punch the morons that came up with all of this ‘derp’ idiocy….

  36. Gisele Bundchen Baby Elephant Kenya
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, those people must be REALLY tall!

  37. Mark Wahlberg White Track Suit Screaming Pain And Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    The Funky Bunch must be chasing him.

  38. Kim Kardashian Kylie Jenner Kendall Jenner Rob Kardashian Texting LAX
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Can I safely assume they’re texting each other?

  39. Chloe Sevigny Miniskirt
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    That ensemble includes a floppy jester hat, Chloe. That’s your trouble, you cut too many corners.

  40. Jennifer Tilly
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Shrek 4

  41. Kelly Brook Butt Tight Dress
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    I would!

  42. Greta Gerwig
    Nina
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Alicia Silverstone

  43. Michael Bay Camera Pain And Gain
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Ellen

  44. Kim Kardashian Kylie Jenner Kendall Jenner Rob Kardashian Texting LAX
    Mando
    Commented on this photo:

    Quick! Do the figure slimming pose.

    Kim you’re doing it wrong.

  45. Seann William Scott
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s just Seann William Scott’s confidence. It’s been coming out of him ever since he filmed “American Reunion” and learned he was the only original cast member not living on welfare.

  46. Phoebe Price Cleavage Life Happens
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody got hit by theugly and stupid stick!

  47. Jill Hennessy High Slit Dress
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!

  48. Chris Brown Massage Parlor
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    The glasses say, “Look at ME, I can READ,” and the chain says, “NO, you CAN’T.”

  49. Mark Wahlberg White Track Suit Screaming Pain And Gain
    Mando
    Commented on this photo:

    The thought of Adrian Grenier’s smelly crotch.

  50. Christie Brinkley Tight Pink Dress
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you want about the 21st century, as least we’re getting a better grade of granny porn.

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