The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 4.15.14

April 15th, 2014 // 385 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that exists in a world of skinny Jessica Simpon, so nothing makes sense to me now. For example, why is Irina Shayk on vacation with the Kardashians? And does Scientology really enable Tom Cruise to turn himself into a horse? What the hell is happening with these asses?

*tries to stand, room spins, faints, wakes up* Quick, somebody, is Katherine Heigl still an insufferable bitch? Phew, okay good, everything’s fine here, I’m okay,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Bethenny Frankel Leather Dress
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    “RUN, SHE’S AFTER SOULS!!!!”

  2. Micaela Schaefer Naked Easter Themed Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what she’s got planned for Arbor Day?

  3. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Store Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    were they EVER alive? cause they’re no fucking way. no fucking way. just no.

  4. Jonah Hill Pocket Pool Workout Clothes Neon Sneakers
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘bespoke’ Nike wear. Has to be. I’ve never seen Nike crap in that size.

  5. Lena Dunham Fat legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    ouch. unfortunate photo. but she’s pregnant right?

  6. Katherine Heigl Bitchface
    Commented on this photo:

    damn, that’s at least as unfortunate as that Lena photo.

  7. Leslie Mann Cameron Diaz Kate Upton Butts The Other Woman Photo Call Sydney
    Herp
    Commented on this photo:

    a 21yo upton loses to a 42yo mann? milf lovers

  8. Rose McGowan Nipples No Bra See through Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    strange.

  9. Bethenny Frankel Leather Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    one of the few people I actively hate without having ever met. Not one redeeming feature.

  10. Caitlin OConnor Buttcheeks Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    really? nice ass of course but that face?

  11. Micaela Schaefer Naked Easter Themed Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    there’s caves full of bats in Germany wondering where all their shit went.

  12. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    Commented on this photo:

    When horses were brought over to the Americas, I guess they didn’t come with instructions.

  13. Jamie Foxx American Flag Scarf Emma Stone Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Berlin
    journalschism
    Commented on this photo:

    So I guess the only thing we can surmise from these press junket photos is that Paul Giamatti thinks this movie is a piece of shit.

  14. Katherine Heigl Bitchface
    journalschism
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who is that f*cking bitch?!?!” NOT PICTURED: Mirror on sidewalk

  15. Joaquin Phoenix Karate Class Barefoot Half Shaved Head
    Don Draper's Dad
    Commented on this photo:

    He dominates the Dojo!

  16. Irina Shayk Bikini Wild Pigs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve swam with the swimming pigs in the Bahamas. Thank god I didn’t compare them to a Kardashian then, there would be nothing left of me except for some teeth.

  17. Jay Z Beyonce Gjelina Restaurant
    Commented on this photo:

    nappy

  18. Jamie Foxx American Flag Scarf Emma Stone Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Berlin
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Andrew Garfield definitely gave one of them a hickey last night.

  19. Candice Swanepoel Butt Adriana Lima Cleavage Legs Minidress Victorias Secret Bond Street Store Photo Call
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Genetic engineering…has to be.

  20. Antonio Banderas Looking At Jesus Statue Easter Holy Week Malaga
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I pray to you everyday, but I come home and she is still there, WTF?”

  21. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    Commented on this photo:

    Doing everything in my power not to spit my milkshake all over my keyboard. How the fuck are there not more SJP jokes on this post? There should be at least 45 by now.

  22. Jamie Foxx American Flag Scarf Emma Stone Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he wearing a leather blazer? Go fuck yourself Garfield, ugh.

  23. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Store Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    These can’t seriously be real people.

  24. Taylor Swift Legs Short Shorts Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Yum.

  25. Kendall Jenner I Have No Tits Shirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    And finally, no brains, modesty or decency.

  26. Micaela Schaefer Naked Easter Themed Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    This has got to be a dude.

  27. Jay Z Beyonce Gjelina Restaurant
    Commented on this photo:

    “$$$$$$$$$?”
    “$$ $$$$ $$ $ $$$$$.”
    “$.”
    “$$$$ $$ $$$$$ $$$$$!”

  28. Jamie Foxx American Flag Scarf Emma Stone Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s black… and white… and kinda creepy all over?

  29. Irina Shayk Bikini Wild Pigs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    You can lead a horse to water and can’t make it drink, but if you lead some pigs to water, at least _one_ of them will wear a bathing suit.

  30. Bethenny Frankel Leather Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a crime to wear leather! ….. What dress?

  31. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Store Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll take ‘People I Could Never EVER Picture In A Sweatshirt And Sweatpants’ for one hundred, Alex.”

  32. Lena Dunham Fat legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Ohpleasegodnobreezeohpleasegodnobreezepleasepleaseplease

  33. Kendall Jenner I Have No Tits Shirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell? You don’t see me wearing an “I have no dick” pants now do you? Wait…

  34. Coco Giant Ass Tight Jeans Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I clicked this pic, and the page started scrolling down… on its own.

  35. Rose McGowan Nipples No Bra See through Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Time to fill up the Jar Of Souls

  36. Candice Swanepoel Butt Adriana Lima Cleavage Legs Minidress Victorias Secret Bond Street Store Photo Call
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d just like to go fanboy for a moment, change topics and say what a generic and disappointing interview Conan O’Brien did with Tatiana Maslany. Here she’s doing one of the most impressive acting jobs on television and he has her spend time talking about some goofy story on Regina and zombies, and is California different from Canada. The only question about acting was ‘does she like action scenes’. Fail.

  37. Coco Giant Ass Tight Jeans Instagram
    SamSpayed
    Commented on this photo:

    God damn it, Coco. In the thumbnail you looked like Amber Heard and now I’m going to have to find something else to masturbate to.

  38. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    SJP seen enjoying an Argentinian Grass Massage session recommended to her by Gwyneth …

    … while Martin Tatta is seen thinking … ‘I do NOT get paid enough for this shit!’

  39. Patrick Harrison, Elisabeth Moss The One I Love Screening Sarasota Film Festival
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    She definitely needs the LIFT but if they get any more separated she’ll need to rename them Chris & GOOP

  40. Robert Homer Mollohan Jason Momoa Screaming Road To Paloma Sarasota Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    …i wanna make a joke about mollohan remaking that he suddenly smells lisa bonet, but i can;t figure out how to make it work…

  41. Robert Homer Mollohan Jason Momoa Screaming Road To Paloma Sarasota Film Festival
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    Gay Urban Dothraki …. no, I don’t think this look is going to be more popular than ‘Naked Dothraki Savage’

  42. Irina Shayk Bikini Wild Pigs Instagram
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    EPIC fail during the first photoshoot for ‘Kardashian Waterproof Makeup’

    E P I C

  43. Taylor Swift Legs Short Shorts Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Between the last pic and this one, it is like an Animaniacs Bad Idea/Good Idea for the female form.

  44. Jamie Foxx American Flag Scarf Emma Stone Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    …since it worked on katie holmes, jamie went for the ass grab again, except this time, he discovered her dark secret… [cue inception bwah - cut to close up on jamie]

  45. Katherine Heigl Bitchface
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, she finally saw all her romcoms in one sitting.

  46. Taylor Swift Legs Short Shorts Bra See Through Shirt
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    “The evolved form of the female Preying Mantis no longer waits till it has sex with the male of the species before biting its head off.” ***

    *** – And it does not bite off the head between the shoulders anymore.

  47. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Dress Roissy Airport
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    The zipper is NOT partially hidden under a belt …

    … that’s Spanx new ‘Black Hole Girdle” – guaranteed hide 99.99% of the actual mASS it encompASSES

  48. Katherine Heigl Bitchface
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    Multiple Personality Disorder – the gift a REAL Stage Mom makes sure her little girl has before “it’s too late”.

  49. Beth Behrs Kat Dennings Cleavage Extra
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s in their contracts … second fiddle must always walk 5 paces behind

  50. Kendall Jenner I Have No Tits Shirt Coachella
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    “PMK Wear” – coming soon for the discerning mother who wants her daughter(s) to have NO self esteem

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