The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 4.15.14

April 15th, 2014 // 385 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that exists in a world of skinny Jessica Simpon, so nothing makes sense to me now. For example, why is Irina Shayk on vacation with the Kardashians? And does Scientology really enable Tom Cruise to turn himself into a horse? What the hell is happening with these asses?

*tries to stand, room spins, faints, wakes up* Quick, somebody, is Katherine Heigl still an insufferable bitch? Phew, okay good, everything’s fine here, I’m okay,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Irina Shayk Bikini Wild Pigs Instagram
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that’s a surf and turf special I could really enjoy! (This joke sent to you from circa ~1948).

  2. Leslie Mann Cameron Diaz Kate Upton Butts The Other Woman Photo Call Sydney
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s sad leslie mann has the best ass in this pic

  3. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    Commented on this photo:

    When a guy is hung like a donkey, his choice of partners is limited.

  4. Kelly Brook Bikini Instagram
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    the things i would do to those tits

  5. Katherine Heigl Bitchface
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll fuggin’ sue New York if they use this picture to say I was in New York! Fuggin’.Sue.Them.”

  6. Robert Homer Mollohan Jason Momoa Screaming Road To Paloma Sarasota Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “I banged the Khaleesi, fuck yeah!”

  7. Candice Swanepoel Butt Adriana Lima Cleavage Legs Minidress Victorias Secret Bond Street Store Photo Call
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    They are a wish sandwich, because you wish you were in the middle.

  8. Bar Refaeli Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    would not passover that.

  9. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Store Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    Ummm…uhhh…hmmm…nope.

  10. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddamn Bronies.

  11. Antonio Banderas Looking At Jesus Statue Easter Holy Week Malaga
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    That is sweet.
    He said, “Show me you tits!”
    She said, “Marry me first.”
    And they still have the Mardi Gras beads from 40 days and another 25 years ago.

  12. Lena Dunham Fat legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    One ill timed breeze and human eyesight is forever destroyed.

  13. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    In a stroke of cosmic irony, the horse was Catherine the Great in a previous life.

  14. Micaela Schaefer Naked Easter Themed Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Happy Zombie Jesus Day.

  15. Irina Shayk Bikini Wild Pigs Instagram
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this mean she is no longer kosher?

  16. Leslie Mann Cameron Diaz Kate Upton Butts The Other Woman Photo Call Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Cameron has the best ass, Kate has the best tits and Leslie has the best face.

  17. Jamie Foxx American Flag Scarf Emma Stone Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never understood why the Spider-man film franchises cast red-heads like Emma Stone and Bryce Dallas Howard as the Blonde Gwen Stacy and Blondes like Kirsten Dunst as the red-headed Mary Jane Watson. It is confounding

  18. Leslie Mann Cameron Diaz Kate Upton Butts The Other Woman Photo Call Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take Leslie.

  19. Kelly Brook Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfection!

  20. Katherine Heigl Bitchface
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    She is allergic to baby.

  21. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, this is… It’s… What the fuck?

  22. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Store Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    I…have…no…words…for…this.

  23. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    ultra
    Commented on this photo:

    horse yoga?

  24. Micaela Schaefer Naked Easter Themed Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she do this all the time in Berlin? Jeez I need to consider moving there.

  25. Micaela Schaefer Naked Easter Themed Photo Shoot
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I have never seen a girl on the receiving end of “Kiss the bunny on the nose.”

  26. Daphne Joy Cleavage Swimsuit Daylight Pool Mandalay Bay
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    $0.50′s baby’s moms.

  27. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody’s gotta break the bad news to Neidermeyer again.

  28. Katherine Heigl Bitchface
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    She JUST realized she’s Katherine Heigl…

  29. Coco Giant Ass Tight Jeans Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Ho is right.

  30. Lena Dunham Fat legs Minidress
    Joel R
    Commented on this photo:

    Pants….pants…. sing the praises of …pants…

  31. Patrick Harrison, Elisabeth Moss The One I Love Screening Sarasota Film Festival
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Never seen a professional cleavage blocker before…Patrick Harrison must have a problem looking at a woman’s tits and not looking them in the eye.

  32. Rose McGowan Nipples No Bra See through Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    She bears a slight resemblance to the drummer in Def Leppard in this photo.

  33. Bethenny Frankel Leather Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is Al Sharpton up to now?

    • …i get it; ’cause we all look alike …you’re too funny.

      • I take it this is your first time on the site. This is not a “black people all look alike” joke, so cool your jets. Here in the Superficial comments section, we make fun of all races equally, many times finding a photo of a person and saying they are someone else. “Hey look, the old guy looks like Kenny Rogers!” We often refer to Sarah Jessica Parker as a horse. And lots of men are referred to by women’s names when they are looking particularly feminine in a photo. We are consistently equal opportunity around here.

  34. Horse Whisperer Martin Tatta Humping Horse
    arty
    Commented on this photo:

    Front Door Farrah – The post prolapse sessons.

  35. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Store Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    If I’d have to guess only the blonde has a penis.

  36. Micaela Schaefer Naked Easter Themed Photo Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody did not get enough attention from her daddy growing up.

  37. Demi Lovato iHeartRadio Live Series Performance
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the look of a chick who leaked her own nude photos a few days before her big IHeartRadio gig for publicity.

  38. Lena Dunham Fat legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    There goes my lunch.

  39. Robert Homer Mollohan Jason Momoa Screaming Road To Paloma Sarasota Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Jason Momoa is badass.

  40. Jay Z Beyonce Gjelina Restaurant
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    “Where’s the baby? What do you mean you Blue Ivy with me? I left her with you.”

  41. Demi Lovato iHeartRadio Live Series Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    I demand better nudes.

  42. Katherine Heigl Bitchface
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “And then my husband brushed his teeth, got in bed, took his penis out, and tried to have sex with me. EEeeewww. So gross. I told him to just put that disgusting thing away and rolled right over. Can you believe that? Can you believe he tried to do that AGAIN?”

  43. Jamie Foxx American Flag Scarf Emma Stone Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    She is sickly white. Is she the female version of Powder? Still would.

  44. Joaquin Phoenix Karate Class Barefoot Half Shaved Head
    Jman
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s barefoot in the dojo not barefoot like a hobo.

  45. Harald Gloeoeckler Amanda Lepore Store Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Stodden and Zachary Quinto, this is your future.

  46. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Dress Roissy Airport
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone better go tell Jimbo Wallace his upright bass walked off again.

  47. Antonio Banderas Looking At Jesus Statue Easter Holy Week Malaga
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Time sure takes its toll.

  48. Irina Shayk Bikini Wild Pigs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    God, when i said I’d love to pork Irina Shayk in the ocean apparently I wasn’t specific enough…sigh

  49. Jamie Foxx American Flag Scarf Emma Stone Andrew Garfield The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is with Emma Stone, is she sick?

  50. Jonah Hill Pocket Pool Workout Clothes Neon Sneakers
    Commented on this photo:

    how are those legs supporting that structure???

    • anonymous

      It is a bit weird that Jessica Simpson was pregnant for a couple years and now has calves like the Hulk and this guy has been fat most of his life and is walking on twigs.

      • …she was’nt born heavy, so her calves developed in response to the progressive resistance …he was born heavy, so his are more like horse legs; skinny yet sinewy… [takes off lab coat & glasses, goes back to googling "bea arthur nude"]

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