No, no, NOOOOO.
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Shannen Doherty because time is a motherfucker, but not nearly as big of one as God is considering he had Christie Brinkley‘s DNA to work with and he made Alexa Ray Joel instead. We’ve also got Amanda Seyfried‘s dog whose every heartbeat fires a pang of angusish into her; her own dark heart desiring to one day place his stuffed corpse within her collection where his cold lifeless eyes will bring her the only joy she finds in this world.
Wow, that seemed a little harsh. *calls Justin Timberlake* You can’t ghost-write the Crap posts anymore.
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
PhotoBoy- WHOSE not who’s. Yes I am a grammar nazi. It’s annoying as fuck. They make money here; they can learn English.
I sense a foursome about to happen.
She may be close to 60 and is still bonerific.
This woman is 45 years old. Crazy is one hell of a youth-serum.
Yo, Adrain…you got a permit to carry that nose?
I used to kind of like this guy. Sometimes. What the fuck happened to his career?
Did I leave that baby in the car ? Damn, this is gonna bug me all afternoon.
Keith Richards should stop wearing stripper wigs.
Well, damn, it was just here a second ago…. HEY! Anyone see where I left my ass??
oh, there it is….
Maybe he’s born with it…..
…Maybe it’s Gaybelline? (sorry)
Somebody’s happy about getting some spare change.
“He said I have a horse face, A HORSE FACE. Men can be so cruel. I don’t have a horse face, do I ?”
Quick, show the body!!!! ahhhhhhhh my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is SOOO fucking cute…If she were my lady I’d be eating at the “Y” constantly.
P.S. Zac Efron in a Nicholas Sparks movie? My ovaries turned themselves inside out in protest.
Mine, too. And I’m a guy!
Is she legal? Let me know, so I can leave an appropriate comment.
26.
You’re clear to tell us that you’d pee in her butt.
I’d pee in her and Iveski’s butts.
“…who is every heartbeat fires a pang of anguish into her”.
That’s what you typed. This isn’t some error anyone could make, it means you actually don’t understand what contractions are/do.
Dude, chill out. Get laid. It’s really not that big of a deal.
I don’t see any nipple so there’s no way that’s her.
Man, I love Dave Foley. Is this a still from a new Kids in the Hall show?
goddamn. that can’t be unseen.
“I don’t get it, Edna. When he kissed ME he didn’t use his tongue. You?”
Look at me! I’m a gay, Rastafarian, pilot, jogger!
Wow, “Battleship” is even making the supermodels at its premiere look like shit.
Whatchamean!? Gumballs are supposed to be chewed, not kept on each side of your mouth for flavor? :/
Roseanne Barr anyone?
Roseanne is looking FANTASTIC.
Dammit Shannen you never go full Lohan, everyone knows that
“It looks like this, look at my lips, like this. It’s got teeth too. I ain’t putting my dick in that thing no matter what the other guys say. She ain’t worth it.”
Let me guess, now Beyonce is shooting a Long John Silver commercial?
“Oy, have you see Adrian Body? Bugger stole me scarf!”
Bai Ling was rejected from the Miss Universe contest, the rules are you have to be a transexual, not just look like one.
(Lesbian 1 to Lesbian 2)
“Full cavity search?”
“Full cavity search.”
“I get my hair and my teeth parted at the same salon.”
I think you mean, the same stable
She must be one fun little bundle of fuck.
She definitely got the bad luck of the family
I concede. She’s banging.
Oh, Bai, it’s been too long; glad to see you’re back!
“You smell my farts? I know it smells funny, I had a strawberry smoothie enema this morning.”
What is wrong with her hair color though and yellow teeth!
I just don’t get this guy. Now he’s almost dressed like a man.
“That’s disgusting, two straight people kissing like that in public. We don’t allow that up here in Vancouver.”
Hmmm, asymmetric lower back dimples……….interesting.
I wondered about that myself, but I like the way you worded it.
If I have to look at this bitch again in her ‘swimming jewlery’ Ima find you & slap someone!
That IS his daughter? Right?
Weeping at the death of cinema.
” AND IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU PESKY KIDS, I COULD’VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO!”
“In other entertainment news, Billy Joel’s daughter is recovering nicely from a double thighectomy. Doctor’s were forced to sew her calves directly to her hip sockets, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping her! Yo go girl!”
If she’s not gonna flash her tits then she can just go back to her cryogenic tank until she changes her mind.
She’s got nice arms… (think she wants to hear that?)
She’s pregnant ?
“You want me to fuck you, lady? Yeah, that’ll be extra.”
Rachel Maddow let herself go