No, no, NOOOOO.
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Shannen Doherty because time is a motherfucker, but not nearly as big of one as God is considering he had Christie Brinkley‘s DNA to work with and he made Alexa Ray Joel instead. We’ve also got Amanda Seyfried‘s dog whose every heartbeat fires a pang of angusish into her; her own dark heart desiring to one day place his stuffed corpse within her collection where his cold lifeless eyes will bring her the only joy she finds in this world.
Wow, that seemed a little harsh. *calls Justin Timberlake* You can’t ghost-write the Crap posts anymore.
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Such a natural pose. I seriously see people standing like this ALL the time…. at the mall, the gas station, the dry cleaner… you’d hardly know a camera was present.
Did you really suspect this was supposed to be a candid shot?
See mom, elves ARE real!
“derp yo!”
Is this one of those “Spring Break” movies done in claymation?
484488464
Those two old ladies are from the Douchebag Rescue Mission–trying to save women from lame dipshits with motorcycles since 1973.
Who could think he’s gay?
He’s still got some Kim stank juice on his upper lip.
Extra weight. Extra years. Extra crazy.
Hey Martha, can you cover my time slot. I need to go rub one out now”
It’s like a cross between David Letterman and Nancy Wilson of Heart.
Come on man, just one chorus of “Pour Some Sugar on Me”!!
So…is he a pimp now?
Who is this? It says Brooklyn Decker, but it’s “posted under” Amanda Seyfried.
It looks like Rachel McAdams.
This is the man all tattered and torn,
That kissed the maiden all forlorn,
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn,
That tossed the dog,
That worried the cat,
That killed the rat,
That ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
Great–now I want a malt.
i still would pound.
I wonder if anyone is ever going to have the heart to tell her that punk died thirty years ago.
tell that to lemmy
Not satisfied with so easily looking down her blouse, The Hoff proceeds to try and see down EVERY blouse.
She has already consumed the heads off those two gentleman in the back.
Poor dog. He has to listen to her annoying shit all day and doesn’t even get to bang her in return.
As far as we know.
Put it this way – that lighter coloration on his face is peanut butter.
I wouldn’t rule that out entirely. Someone check her garbage for an obscene amount of empty peanut butter jars.
Wow she’s got like a full blond beard going there. Photoshop, stat!
Well, looks like he’s got a second bitch in his life.
Kinda reminds me of Jurassic Park…
No worries mate. If Young Guns was any indication, he can’t aim worth a shit.
“Last chance. WHO IS THE PAWN WORKING FOR?!?!?”
“Ima let you derp”
This chick can channel, Paris Hilton, Tila Tequila, Lindsay Lohan, Courtney Stodden or all them put together as far as I’m concerned. Six-inch nipples gets an automatic pass in my book. Yowzah.
Does this man not have ANY nice clothes?
What are you talking about? He wore that nice skirt to yoga a few weeks ago.
She’s pretty….nothing wrong here that a little matte powder couldn’t take care of.
Or bangs.
Who let Roseanne Barr in without feeding her!? She already ate the heads of two people!
ahhhh, Vancouver. Where all the skycaps are elderly lesbians…..
Doesn’t she have any friends that would force her into a makeover? Is the whole Ronson posse all about maximum uglification?
So what if her looks are gone? She still has a wonderful talent and a terrific perso….. Oh wait.
Hey, Doc…go give Randal his meds. And while you’re at it, take a couple doses yourself.”
Russell Brand is like the Russell Brand of fucking buffoons.
He is short with an erection that deflates to the left.
Fuggy Fugglestein
Beyonce, I’m not particularly interested in you. However, you are easy to look at. So remove your top or vanish. Kkkk…??? Buh-by now!
Kate Gosselin looks like shit.
She’s got a rack on her.
Photo Boy must have serious wood for this woman.
Not bad*, unless you compare her to all the professional hardbodies on Miami Beach.
* not bad FOR HER AGE
Maybe he enough of Katy Perry money that he didn’t borrow clothes for the guy under the overpass.
Ever wonder how Kanye is able to strain the shit that goes into and comes out of his mouth? Now you know!
Baby, it’s cold outside.
This is exactly what my grandmother always told me would happen if someone hit me on the back of the head while I was giving analingus to Kim Kardashian.
Proof that God masturbates.
Is she trying to smell her upper lip?
I think I’ll pee right here.
Paris Hilton sucky, fucky you long time.
It isn’t even close to Halloween and yet here’s is Bai Ling dressed up as a shiksa.
Hi Mom! Look what I just did!! CHA-CHING!!