The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 4.1.14

April 1st, 2014 // 358 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where I wish I had a celebrity pulling an awesome April Fools’ prank for you guys, but I don’t unless you count Billy Dee Williams tricking his Dancing With The Stars partner into being his ho. Other than that, it’s your usual yoga pant butt parade and Kelly Brook‘s boyfriend hiding his boner pics that you’ll all somehow find a way to quote Jaws to. Never change, you guys.

And let me be the first to say that for today’s Final Five, Zaloog would,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Constantine Maroulis Fedora Croquet Mallet Heathers The Musical Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    I was going to say something snarky about him being a hipster douche, but then I saw that this was a red carpet like situation so Lindsey Lohan was probably bring her red carpet to the event and he’d need a croquet mallet to fight her off and avoid being on her list.

  2. David Spade Wearing Kmart Hat With Random Hot Chick
    hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    A bigger pud, I have never seen.

  3. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    ” OMG! I love your ugly yoga pants!”

  4. Lacey Wildd Huge Fake Tits Bikini
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, that is unattractive.

  5. Cobie Smulders Cleavage Captain America The Winter Soldier Screening
    kevin72
    Commented on this photo:

    Butterchest

  6. Justin Timberlake Surprised Look
    Alex
    Commented on this photo:

    Dick in a walki-talike.

  7. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    The Body…after 4 kids.

  8. Russell Crowe Hugh Jackman Gay Goatee Noah UK Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I kept expecting him to throw a phone in Noah.

  9. Billy Dee Williams Emma Slater Legs Minidress GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hello what do we have here?”

  10. Lacey Wildd Huge Fake Tits Bikini
    Alex
    Commented on this photo:

    that custom coffin lid won’t be cheap…

  11. Kathy Bates Holding Cake Of Her Head 2014 PaleyFest Closing Night Presentation American Horror Story
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess there’s a specialty market for every kind of sex toy.

  12. Kathy Bates Holding Cake Of Her Head 2014 PaleyFest Closing Night Presentation American Horror Story
    Commented on this photo:

    Kathy “Salome” Bates.

  13. Billy Dee Williams Emma Slater Legs Minidress GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    A little Colt 45 should do the trick.

  14. Cobie Smulders Cleavage Captain America The Winter Soldier Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t decide if Quentin Tarantino or Ian Flemming came up with her name.

  15. Sebastian Stan Chris Evan Guy In Captain America Costume NYSE Opening Bell
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy in the middle looks like he lost a bet.

  16. Sarah Jessica Parker Walking Daughter To School
    Commented on this photo:

    Look sweety if you keep your hoof up they change your horseshoes.

  17. Kelly Brook David McIntosh Hiding Boner
    Commented on this photo:

    See? I told you my camel toe was bigger than yours!

  18. Constantine Maroulis Fedora Croquet Mallet Heathers The Musical Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he selling drugs to cricket players now?

  19. David Spade Wearing Kmart Hat With Random Hot Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a K-Mart hat?

  20. Darren Aronofsky Creepy Stare Bald Head Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.

  21. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d make some smart remark, but I don’t feel like getting popped with brass knuckles.

  22. Kathy Bates Holding Cake Of Her Head 2014 PaleyFest Closing Night Presentation American Horror Story
    Commented on this photo:

    Hannibal was pretty damn lazy for this dinner party. It’s like he wasn’t even trying.

  23. Kylie Jenner Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    If I’m reading that compass correctly, the ship’s heading is Whore by Skank-Whore.

  24. Sarah Jessica Parker Walking Daughter To School
    Commented on this photo:

    clippity-cloppity, clippity-cloppity

  25. Justin Timberlake Surprised Look
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m with JT. If I saw the dude from Gangstarr walking around I’d be pretty freaked out too.

  26. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Gin&Tonic
    Commented on this photo:

    Tits need a top-up but otherwise she’s looking pretty fine to me.

  27. Kelly Brook David McIntosh Hiding Boner
    Commented on this photo:

    Given that they’re engaged, I hope she burns off those extra pounds for the eventual wedding dress photos.

  28. Justin Timberlake Surprised Look
    Mcdoubler
    Commented on this photo:

    “Seriously dude? you really want me to go uncle phil on your ass?”

  29. Justin Timberlake Surprised Look
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dude, I thought Uncle Phil was DEAD!?”

  30. Kelly Brook David McIntosh Hiding Boner
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure they love each other for their personalities

  31. Heidi Klum Bikini
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    time to make it a one piece, honey, and fer chrissakes eat some real food

  32. Alessandra Ambrosio Butt Tight Jeans Son Noah
    Commented on this photo:

    “Move out of the frame honey, mama needs to earn a living with the paps”

  33. Lacey Wildd Huge Fake Tits Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Usually when I see a pic like this it’s accompanied by mentions of “roses” and “9 in. fully functional”.

  34. Coco Giant Ass Tight Jeans Instagram
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    rock it Coco – love you sweet girl!

  35. Lacey Wildd Huge Fake Tits Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    And then Dog the Bounty Hunter and Ice-T both turned to each other and said “Hey, quit staring at my woman!”.

  36. Billy Dee Williams Emma Slater Legs Minidress GMA
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch, keep walkin wit dem thighs. Shiiiiaaaaat.

  37. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Extra
    Gin&Tonic
    Commented on this photo:

    instantly knew who it was from the thumbnail

  38. Sebastian Stan Chris Evan Guy In Captain America Costume NYSE Opening Bell
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    They listed That Ambiguously Gay Company on the NYSE?

  39. Lacey Wildd Huge Fake Tits Bikini
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    And somewhere in Trannyville, Bruce Jenner’s heart grew three sizes that day.

  40. Billy Dee Williams Emma Slater Legs Minidress GMA
    Ralph
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s just glad to be still breathing. He’s just look’in. That don’t take much energy. Imagine if he had to get up…

  41. Cobie Smulders Cleavage Captain America The Winter Soldier Screening
    ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Not a sexy body but i find her face very beautiful.

  42. Kylie Jenner Butt Bikini Instagram
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    if its not an April fools joke, that is some ugly ass tattoo. Nice body, but sadly, she is following the footsteps of the older sisters.

  43. Mark Wahlberg Getting Slimed Nickelodeon 27th Annual Kids Choice Awards
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoring himself to promote the new transformers movie to the kids.

  44. Sarah Jessica Parker Walking Daughter To School
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s pretty good at dressage.

  45. Kylie Jenner Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s taking part in the search for the missing airliner.

  46. Mark Wahlberg Getting Slimed Nickelodeon 27th Annual Kids Choice Awards
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    See, this is why you should masterbate, Mr. Wahlberg. Otherwise, the jizz will start to go bad and then explode in a big green mess.

  47. Cobie Smulders Cleavage Captain America The Winter Soldier Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Cobie! Cobie! Why didn’t they explain how Ted became Bob Saget?”

  48. Constantine Maroulis Fedora Croquet Mallet Heathers The Musical Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Publicist: “I’ve run out of ideas. What can we have Constantine doing at opening night?”
    Intern: “I know, we’ll give him an outdated hat and a croquet mallet.”
    Publicist: “Brilliant!”

  49. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone must have died. That’s her funeral outfit.

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