The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 3.3.15

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’m not going to lie, the centerpiece is this pic of Jeb Bush. I’ll pause, so that totally Dubya face and body language causes a chill to creep up your spine and conjure memories of yourself spitting beer at the TV while yelling “It’s nuclEEEEar, you fake cowboy illiterate motherfucker!!” Nobody? Oh right, this is America, land of exceptionalism and whitewashed history. War criminal president who only won the office because his brother, who’s now running for the very same office, rigged an election? Never happened. Freedom! The troops!! Immigration policy based on letting states (actually wealthy business leaders of said states) whose economies depend almost entirely on migrant labor to make their own rules about legal residency, except of course NO citizenship, thus eliminating the whole “only white people vote for us problem?” Nope, doesn’t sound like more conservative Jim Crow bullshit to me. Oops, there I go again putting the liberal politics next to the boobs. Look, it’s a female human being’s butt in tight pants! *cries bitter tears onto wallet size Constitution*

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News