The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 3.25.14

March 25th, 2014 // 368 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where we bring you The Battle Of The Bitchface. Who will prevail? Will it be reigning champion and vagina cannon Kate Gosselin? Or will January Jones use the power of her frost gaze to defeat her? Wait, wait, there’s now a third challenger emerging with Booty Call star and the female Serena Williams, Vivica A. Fox throwing some serious shade on former Olympian and hybrid field mouse person Shawn Johnso– OH MY SWEET CHRIST, WHAT HAPPENED THERE?!

[Ed. Note] The above reaction is also acceptable for this pic of The Hoff,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Samuel L Jackson Glaring At Scarlett Johansson Captain America The Winter Soldier Beijing Press Conference
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s in your uterus?

  2. Dwayne The Rock Johnson High As Fuck CinemaCon
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Shoot HGH every day . . ..

  3. January Jones Bitchface Son Xander Dancing Grabbing Bra
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mommy, please don’t make me see ‘Frozen’ again.”

  4. Shawn Johnson Fat Weight Gain
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s been popping quite a few tacos lately.

  5. Samuel L Jackson Glaring At Scarlett Johansson Captain America The Winter Soldier Beijing Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    “Say ‘what’ again. SAY ‘WHAT’ AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER!”

  6. Jonah Hill Excited Hood Up Random Chick In Car Pikey Bar
    Commented on this photo:

    I never realized the Emperor was so fat as kid.

  7. Kylie Jenner Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Future sperm dumpster.

  8. Jeremy Piven Dickprint Sweatpants Sandals
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he going for the douche accoutrement record?

  9. Jamie Foxx Glaring At Andrew Garfield Derpface The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Beijing
    Commented on this photo:

    “No way that limey motherfucker could kick my ass.”

  10. Kate Gosselin Bitchface Throwing Shade Side Eyeing Lady Celebrity Apprentice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Her cap is misspelled. P-I-E should be S-H-I-T

  11. Tiger Woods Derpface PGA News Conference
    MisterSHO
    Commented on this photo:

    His boner actually pulled his pant legs up.

  12. January Jones Bitchface Son Xander Dancing Grabbing Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, she’s hot. Pity about those extra pounds she’s carrying… in her arms.

  13. Tiger Woods Derpface PGA News Conference
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Excuse me, Tiger? Did you hear the question? You’re thinking about a truck stop hooker, aren’t you?

  14. David Hasselhoff Fucked Up Face Acceleration 2014 Festival Presentation
    Commented on this photo:

    Congratulations, Mr Hasselhoff. You now look like a 64-year-old lesbian.

  15.  April Rose Bikini Andrew Schulz mtvU Spring Break 2014
    Commented on this photo:

    Beauty and the fuckwad.

  16. Vivica A Fox Bitchface Throwing Shade Side Eyeing Shawn Johnson Celebrity Apprentice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Vivica is thinking about eating Shawn.

  17. Samuel L Jackson Glaring At Scarlett Johansson Captain America The Winter Soldier Beijing Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s trying to remember if that’s Scarlett Johansson or Amber Heard.

  18. Anna Chlumsky Nipples See Through Dress Veep Season Three Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she wearing a Halloween mask?

  19. Dwayne The Rock Johnson High As Fuck CinemaCon
    Commented on this photo:

    “mmmm, bacon”

  20. Shawn Johnson Fat Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know about anyone else, but “Hello” by Lionel Ritchie started playing when I saw this pic.

    This woman is what my friends would refer to as “Uncle Phil sized.”

  21. Tobey Maguire Derpface Fat Belly Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    That bloated gut of yours should really help your career, Mr Maguire!

  22. Jeremy Piven Dickprint Sweatpants Sandals
    Commented on this photo:

    I think it’s great he’s secure enough not to care that he’s dressed like a rentboy.

  23. Nick Lachey Coco VH1 Morning Buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    When literally everyone else in entertainment is busy…

  24. Giada De Laurentiis Fine Living TV Channel Presentation
    Commented on this photo:

    The three things that have made her rich and famous — her last name and both tits.

  25. Michelle Obama Malia Obama Sasha Obama Museum Of Terracotta Warriors Xian China
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve always wondered if those statues have a “Made in China” sticker on them.

  26. Samuel L Jackson Glaring At Scarlett Johansson Captain America The Winter Soldier Beijing Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me get this right – you’re pregnant, those things are already getting bigger, and you’re covering them up? Pfffffft.

  27. Tobey Maguire Derpface Fat Belly Weight Gain
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe fat, drunk, and stupid really is a decent way to go thru life?

  28. Samuel L Jackson Glaring At Scarlett Johansson Captain America The Winter Soldier Beijing Press Conference
    thecrazybetty
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t stand this ugly looking black turd.

  29. Michelle Obama Malia Obama Sasha Obama Museum Of Terracotta Warriors Xian China
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    Foreign politicians attempt to greet Medusa.
    Frankly I hope this escalates to world war 4 after everyone is down with the 3rd one.

  30. Charlotte Ross Cleavage Legs Youth For Human Rights International Celebrity Benefit
    Hank E. Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Portray Sharon Stone in 3,2,1.

  31. Shawn Johnson Fat Weight Gain
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    Jonah Hill in drag. Probably going to seduce Leo DiCaprio with his inception chins.

  32. Dwayne The Rock Johnson High As Fuck CinemaCon
    Commented on this photo:

    Dudes’ high as fuck

  33. David Hasselhoff Fucked Up Face Acceleration 2014 Festival Presentation
    thecrazybetty
    Commented on this photo:

    what is with these old dudes…. and those crazy bloody chicklet teeth. it’s like this is from a monster movie…

  34. Anna Chlumsky Nipples See Through Dress Veep Season Three Premiere
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    Caution to faps from our youth;
    They look like that later on.
    Luckily I was shooting blanks back then so nothing has to crawl back in with regret.

  35. Vivica A Fox Bitchface Throwing Shade Side Eyeing Shawn Johnson Celebrity Apprentice Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Did I ever tell you guys she was on my flight to Indianapolis for the Indy 500? There’s my pathetic brush with greatness.

    • The level of greatness depends on which one you mean.

    • Doctor Joystick

      I met her at a University of Iowa tailgate. I was really drunk and rather loudly told one of my buddies I was gonna wear her gold medal around my neck when I was fucking her from behind. She was looking dead at me when I said it. Needless to say, I didn’t wear the medal.

    • Johnny Barbells

      …did i tell you about the time she and alicia sacramone were in the girl’s locker room of my gym, naked, slathered in baby oil, fighting over who was gonna bang me? (and yes; extremely vivid waking dreams DO count)

  36. Shawn Johnson Fat Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    … and she was smaller then.

  37. Samuel L Jackson Glaring At Scarlett Johansson Captain America The Winter Soldier Beijing Press Conference
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t forget now, you work for me!”
    “They’re just movies, Sam, jeez. Up your meds.”

  38. Kylie Jenner Bikini Instagram
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I shudder to think what is skimmed out of that pool

    • Kevin

      The LA County Health Department requires that the pool water be 10% Clorox for the public’s safety at large.

  39. Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavage Workout Clothes
    Hank
    Commented on this photo:

    All retards should use her makeup regimen.

  40. January Jones Bitchface Son Xander Dancing Grabbing Bra
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    That kid is going to be very pretentious when he grows up

  41. Ian McKellen Long Overcoat
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    Where are the Indian, the Cowboy, and The Cop?

  42. David Hasselhoff Fucked Up Face Acceleration 2014 Festival Presentation
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    I wasn’t aware that someone could contract Down’s Syndrome.

  43.  April Rose Bikini Andrew Schulz mtvU Spring Break 2014
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    So MTV is still pretending they’re still relevant to Spring Break, but they’ve given up pretending their VJ’s are under 25.

  44. Michelle Obama Malia Obama Sasha Obama Museum Of Terracotta Warriors Xian China
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what dad wants his tomb to be like?

  45. Jeremy Piven Dickprint Sweatpants Sandals
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    Terminally hip.
    (please let it be terminal…)

  46. Jamie Foxx Glaring At Andrew Garfield Derpface The Amazing Spider Man 2 Photo Call Beijing
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    The boy had cancer. CANCER!

  47. Shawn Johnson Fat Weight Gain
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s unfair that America is getting all the fatties.

  48. Giada De Laurentiis Fine Living TV Channel Presentation
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Weird face.

  49. Vivica A Fox Bitchface Throwing Shade Side Eyeing Shawn Johnson Celebrity Apprentice Set
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn that lil white got an ass!”

  50. Shawn Johnson Fat Weight Gain
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess all of her medals were just foil-wrapped chocolate discs

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