Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which is stuffed so full of douche you’d think it was a closet in Charlie Sheen‘s guest bathroom. I hardly know where to begin, so I’ll just start with Ian Somerhalder who it seems has become the All-Douche, so much so that he totally dwarfs Shia LaBeouf‘s hipster NYPD patronage. Then there’s Jim Carrey and Steven Tyler going face-to-face in an irrelevance showdown and finally, the Angel of Mapledouche, Justin Bieber, with his gilded fingerless crotch handlers.
It’s almost too overwhelming. Thank god I found a real rock legend to redeem myse– GODDAMNIT!
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Shut-up everybody! I like Hank Williams Jr.
Ruffled blouse and a thong, works every time.
He must have been disappointed when getting dressed to find out that after carefully planning his whole outfit, all he had was that old ratty thing.
I’ll let you figure out if I’m talking about his belt, or Kate Moss.
She has the prettiest brown eyes.
This guy’s very good looking, and he obviously knows it. I like men who are a bit less full of themselves.
Susan’s the only one who doesn’t look like a man here. Those other two are DEFINITELY drag queens.
Kinda rude to make fat jokes about someone who publicly announced she’s dealt with eating disorders. I’ll still call out her horrendous fashion choice though – wtf was she thinking?
Amy Winehouse and Rosie O’Donnell pre-fame. Still pretty shitty.
That’s a whole lot of sun damage.
That toupee makes all the difference for Ron Howard.
She makes me think of a TRex with tiny arms in this picture, complete with sound effect. Eeaakk??
Not that I actually saw it or anything, but I’m pretty sure the one on the right was in a “chicks with dicks” movie.
Makes Kurt dress in fatigues and eyepatch, calls him Snake Plissken. Wait, no that’s what I’d do.
So, in their relationship, he gets the food and she gets the sun. Seems fair, I guess.
Shia LeDouche is on my shit list for making me side with Alec Baldwin about anything.
Is Cuba gonna have to choke a bitch?
The three of them are forming a new singing group they intend to call “The Cadavers.”
I wonder who her publicist is, ‘cuz that ass needs way more exposure.
I was thinking she’s pretty cute, but upon further inspection, she does seem to have a few “Phantom of the Opera” characteristics to her.