Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which is stuffed so full of douche you’d think it was a closet in Charlie Sheen‘s guest bathroom. I hardly know where to begin, so I’ll just start with Ian Somerhalder who it seems has become the All-Douche, so much so that he totally dwarfs Shia LaBeouf‘s hipster NYPD patronage. Then there’s Jim Carrey and Steven Tyler going face-to-face in an irrelevance showdown and finally, the Angel of Mapledouche, Justin Bieber, with his gilded fingerless crotch handlers.
It’s almost too overwhelming. Thank god I found a real rock legend to redeem myse– GODDAMNIT!
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
3D: Douchey, Douchey, Douchey.
I had no idea he was still alive.
A puppy’s first prostate exam is always a tough one.
I don’t know that she deserves a wax figure, but it’s very lifelike.
Bestiality. Because animals can’t say no.
Some parrots will say no, but honestly, that shit just makes it hotter.
This is what happens when you rush the miracle man — you get rotten miracles.
He probably got caught cheating at a card game.
Well, to be fair, he has been mostly dead this decade.
He needs more training if he’s still only using the little black microphone.
I think I finally understand what the Beebs is trying to achieve.
Well, shit. I had written “fat joke” in brackets. I guess that’s not cool.
Anyway, fat joke.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Everything in this picture is fake.
I can rub my penis between them, thats real enough for me.
Quack, quack, quack !!!
That’s a good point TJ.
Put on the special glasses and it’s like the douche-nozzle is spraying right at you!
“Have you considered shooting ‘Arrested Development’ in front of a green screen? People love that shit!”
I hope my Job action figure comes with a Segway.
Your punishment must be more severe
“Right, I’ve put the silly curly slippers on, now ask him which way it is to the flying carpets, post-haste!”
Future Scientologist, if you know what I mean.
Judging from the look on the dog’s face, his breath must stink bad.
When your ass is as wide as an elephant’s thighs…that’s a Moiré.
finally, a worthwhile picture
Coming up with utterly lame, at times plagiarized, witless dull barbs to sling at Alec Baldwin is really starting to consume his every waking moment…
Hopefully the NYPD will be highly insulted by this and they beat this idiot to death.
Give her credit, she’s getting closer to perfection. Now if only she can find a much bigger hat.
Why? Why does she continue to think (okay, let’s assume that she’s capable of that for a minute) she has anywhere to go in this so-called “career path”? What? There’s a shortage of women who want to show their tits in the world? Pretty sure you can see titties ANYWHERE – and better ones at that.
More to the point you can see real titties everywhere and they look a whole lot better.
That depends
Maybe her goal is to be a professional train wreck? People can’t resist watching a disaster.
This is not at Madam Tassaud’s?
This certainly is a random smattering of crazy
4 boobs, mininum.
minimum
I’ve seen butts at Wal-Mart…you know, where should be working.
He should write a book called “How to look like a fucking douchebag all the damn time”.
Steven: “No. I am your father. ”
Jim: “No. No. That’s not true. That’s impossible!”
Sigh, remember when old man Axl was a god.
No, because he was 3hrs late to that too.
I don’t know whose names those are, but the guy in the red shoes is definitely a Jonas brother.
Untalented, ugly with ugly fat legs.
Do we get to call them the full beef now, instead of calves? I mean after a certain point…
B: “Imagine the positions we could do it in?” *wink!wink!*
D: “I’m gay.”
B: “FUCK! Another six months of yoga classes shot to hell!”
Pretty sure this is Demi Moore from 1991
I loved that movie! None of the bunnies were happy.
He must be working out. He’s almost through the whole song and he hasn’t fainted once!
I love CoCo!
500 years of inbreeding had to the end badly. Here’s the proof, England.
“Hee, hee, hee…Thank you , vaseline on the camera lens!”
I got a rapper in the east, a rapper in the west.
Some dude named AP9 likes to jack it on my chest.
8 year olds, Dude
You said it, mang!
Is Padma about to say, “Pack up your old whores and go home”?
I’m starting to think the Sweet Child he was referring to was Little Debbie.
Philo and Clyde roam the San Fernando Valley in search of cold beer, country music and the occasional punch-up.
When does the naked pole dancing start?
as soon as they develop metal alloys that can withstand her acrid snail trails.
In fairness to her, making yourself completely unattractive is the best way to stop people from stalking you.
Looks like she succeeded in something.
On his way to his audition for “Wooly Willy – The Movie”
Legs like Minnie Mouse – yuck.
That ass is pure Cinderella!
Deborah: “Call Me!”
Susan: “Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me!”
Padme: “I’m not understanding what they are saying, but I’m appreciating it…”
Holy shit… she snorted half of his shirt right off.
“So what did you do after you directed American Graffiti ?”
“In 1977 I directed a movie called Star Wars”
“Then what ?”
“Nothing”
She’s not doing it right.
She is absolutely doing it wrong.