The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 3.11.14

March 11th, 2014 // 380 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for the vileness flooding your brain while you do whatever it is you guys all do for a living. It’s elementary schoolteachers, right? I’m going with that. So while you make the kids braid their mother’s hair and make nativity dioramas (What? My mom teacher told me this is what everybody else was doing in class all day.), enjoy casting your judgement on Bruce Jenner who I’m now convinced has radiation poisoning, Hugh Jackman touching a man’s should–GAY!!!, and Pete Doherty in a pretty unremarkable photo unless you count the fact that he’s upright, out in daylight, and not deceased.

Wait, wait, HE’S THE YELLOW KIN– It’s over isn’t it? *slams door, runs to bedroom* I hate it here, I’m running away and I’m never coming back!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Huge Ass Bikini Instagram
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s all fun and games until she whips out a dong.

  2. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    “When this sucker hits 88 miles per hour, you’re gonna see some serious shit.”

  3. Oprah Winfrey Maria Shriver Paycheck To Paycheck The Life and Times Of Katrina Gilbert
    Commented on this photo:

    Maria Shriver’s thinking . o O ( goddam cloaking field failed again! )

  4. Julianne Hough Butt White Cutoff Jean Shorts Moving Truck
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    “You sure you can eat this whole thing, ma’am?”

  5. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Huge Ass Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Nope.

  6. Oprah Winfrey Maria Shriver Paycheck To Paycheck The Life and Times Of Katrina Gilbert
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Get outta my shot, bitch.”

  7. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she wearing a mask!?

  8. Billy Dee Williams Dancing With The Stars Practice
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    He stopped drinking malt liquor because he can’t get out of the way of the bull fast enough anymore.

  9. Bill Cosby Funny Or Die Clubhouse Facebook Pop Up HQ SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “And so I told her, ‘Don’t worry baby, you’ll just feel a little prick!’”

  10. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s old but if you squint your eyes she could be pretty.

  11. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Huge Ass Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m done pretending Nicki Minaj is anything but gross. It occurs to me that I don’t even know what she’s famous for, I only know her from pictures of her clinically diagnosable enlarged ass, and having her novelty sized jugs hanging out of whatever she’s not wearing.

    • I clicked just to see who this harsh faced fellow was as he suspiciously resembled my neighbor. Now that I have connected him to the jumbo ads on the NYC subway of Minaj as a blonde with clown face and grotesque ass and tits, I find your efforts to masquerade your true impulse commendable and heroic.

  12. Alec Baldwin Barbara Walters Guild Hall Of East Hampton Academy Of Arts Lifetime Achievement Awards
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s either pissed, happy, intrigued, or dead. I can’t tell which.

    He’s definitely pissed.

  13. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    Coconut shell use #17, “The Jenner”.

  14. Nicolas Cage Bead Necklace Rosario Dawson Joe Premiere SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    have we ever seen nic cage’s hairpiece and john travolta’s in the same picture? BESIDES FACE OFF, OBVI.

  15. Pete Doherty
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see some of those meth scars cleared up.

  16. Nia Long Cleavage Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Tyler Perry’s up to about a movie a month, right?

  17. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    *shudder*

  18. Roseanne Barr Crazy Face PaleyFest Icon Award Celebration Event
    Commented on this photo:

    frighteningly similar to the bruce jenner pic

  19. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    You had me at Goodbye

  20. Prince Charles Kissing Queen Elizabeth On Cheek Commonwealth Day Observance Service Westminster Abbey
    Commented on this photo:

    “The Lannisters send their regards”

  21. Oprah Winfrey Maria Shriver Paycheck To Paycheck The Life and Times Of Katrina Gilbert
    Commented on this photo:

    “paycheck to paycheck” being a concept Oprah had to try several times to explain to Maria.

  22. Pete Doherty
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Biggest coke straw I’ve ever seen.

  23. Alec Baldwin Barbara Walters Guild Hall Of East Hampton Academy Of Arts Lifetime Achievement Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t think you understand the crisis we’re looking at Barbara….these men literally put their penises in each other’s rectums…”

  24. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Kris get all the mirrors in the split?

  25. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    If she continues down this path, she’ll be stealing what’s left of Mike Tyson’s money in no time.

  26. Hugh Jackman Hand On Mans Shoulders
    Commented on this photo:

    “I find that tension up here in the cervical spine actually originates in the penis…”

  27. Rachel Ray Derpface Double Chin Live Q&A with Rachael Ray Philadelphia Flower Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she and Snooki trade bodies?

  28. Bill Cosby Funny Or Die Clubhouse Facebook Pop Up HQ SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just a pinch in their drinks!”

  29. Julianne Hough Butt White Cutoff Jean Shorts Moving Truck
    Commented on this photo:

    “excuse me miss, could you help me load this rolled up carpet into my unlicensed van, I’ve got this broken arm…”

  30. Julianne Hough Butt White Cutoff Jean Shorts Moving Truck
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    ryan seacrest is wrapped up real tight in there

  31. Bill Cosby Funny Or Die Clubhouse Facebook Pop Up HQ SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bill Cosby at the Funny Or Die Clubhouse”

    RIP Bill Cosby

  32. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so oddly proportioned. It goes from normal (a little heavier) body, to a ginormous ass, then teeny little legs. It’s like a fun house mirror.

  33. Bridget Marquardt Cleavage Belly Sweaty Face Style Fashion Week LA 7th Season
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I was about to say, “Look at what a greasy slut Kate Gosselin turned into”.

    Eh, I’m still going to say that.

  34. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Commented on this photo:

    that is not attractive.

  35. Ricky Martin Hotel Window Rio
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes these pictures don’t need comments.

  36. Ricky Martin Hotel Window Rio
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Alec Baldwin on the sidewalk below screaming “You cocksucking faggots!”

  37. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Huge Ass Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Saying you wouldn’t fuck Nicki Minaj because of her fake ass is like refusing to eat cake because it’s not your birthday.

  38. Maitland Ward Cleavage Style Fashion Week LA 7th Season
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, I can do this *don’tlookatthefacedon’tlookattheface*

  39. Alec Baldwin Barbara Walters Guild Hall Of East Hampton Academy Of Arts Lifetime Achievement Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “What? Who ever told you that, Barbara? I’ve got nothing against you Hebes.”

  40. Sean Penn Hiding Behind Large Package LAX
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    There has to be an easier way to avoid talking to Madonna.

  41. Ricky Martin Hotel Window Rio
    patch
    Commented on this photo:

    I proposed to you, Ricky. Now Hilary Duff me.

  42. Billy Dee Williams Dancing With The Stars Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s looking for the set of “shuffling with the old men”

  43. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t get over how different her face looks. It’s not bad, it’s just different and I can’t put my finger on what exactly she did to it.

  44. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    Commented on this photo:

    You had me at Hell No

  45. Pete Doherty
    Commented on this photo:

    He’d better hope he doesn’t run into a gang of Rockers.

  46. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I like Macy Gray, so I don’t want to make fun of her..but the wishing troll haircut ain’t making it easy

  47. Roseanne Barr Crazy Face PaleyFest Icon Award Celebration Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bah… Ram… Ewe…to your breed, your fleece, your stock be true.”

  48. Rachel Ray Derpface Double Chin Live Q&A with Rachael Ray Philadelphia Flower Show
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    have we ever seen Rachel Ray and Kelly Clarkson in the same room? THINK ABOUT IT

  49. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you allowed in SoulCycle if you’re soulless?

  50. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Josh Groban Awkward Portrait Pose UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle Present A Starry Evening Of Music Comedy Surprises
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This is like the old John Travolta-Kelly Preston pics, except in this case, everyone is hoping Josh is gay for his own sake.

Leave A Comment