The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 3.11.14

March 11th, 2014 // 380 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for the vileness flooding your brain while you do whatever it is you guys all do for a living. It’s elementary schoolteachers, right? I’m going with that. So while you make the kids braid their mother’s hair and make nativity dioramas (What? My mom teacher told me this is what everybody else was doing in class all day.), enjoy casting your judgement on Bruce Jenner who I’m now convinced has radiation poisoning, Hugh Jackman touching a man’s should–GAY!!!, and Pete Doherty in a pretty unremarkable photo unless you count the fact that he’s upright, out in daylight, and not deceased.

Wait, wait, HE’S THE YELLOW KIN– It’s over isn’t it? *slams door, runs to bedroom* I hate it here, I’m running away and I’m never coming back!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Upset by the insolent staff and a raucous children’s party, Myrtle vowed never to return to Cracker Barrel.

  2. Sean Penn Hiding Behind Large Package LAX
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He travels with a poster of himself.

  3. Julianne Hough Butt White Cutoff Jean Shorts Moving Truck
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Zoom you fucking twat of a photographer.

  4. Ricky Martin Hotel Window Rio
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are you ready for your massage Mr. Travolta?”

  5. Maxwell Taking Picture Of Woman In Bikini
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Lemme get a pic of that rack’…didn’t work for me, I can tell you.

  6. Alec Baldwin Barbara Walters Guild Hall Of East Hampton Academy Of Arts Lifetime Achievement Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    So, do you like me less than Mel Gibson?

  7. Hugh Jackman Hand On Mans Shoulders
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    You hold the kid at bay with your dog and I’ll steal his scooter.

  8. Rachel Ray Derpface Double Chin Live Q&A with Rachael Ray Philadelphia Flower Show
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Not 148 water, I’m guessing.

  9. Julianne Hough Butt White Cutoff Jean Shorts Moving Truck
    Private Bendjammin
    Commented on this photo:

    Another example of how well-off a beard can be in Follywood. A payoff, followed by a smattering of cheesy roles. Then a nice Benz, and enough walking around money to afford items at retailers whose help is dressed nicer than you.

  10. Ali Larter Cleavage Bony Chest See Through Top
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, I really don’t know how anyone walks in heals like that…

  11. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Please don’t sing, please don’t sing, please don’t sing.

  12. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Josh Groban Awkward Portrait Pose UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle Present A Starry Evening Of Music Comedy Surprises
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘UCSF Medical Center and The Painted Turtle Present A Starry Evening of Music, Comedy & Surprises’

    Acronym that, motherfuckers.

  13. Prince Charles Kissing Queen Elizabeth On Cheek Commonwealth Day Observance Service Westminster Abbey
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He calls her ‘the old crone’…to her face!

  14. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I found that missing plane.

  15. Bridget Marquardt Cleavage Belly Sweaty Face Style Fashion Week LA 7th Season
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘at the Style Fashion Week LA 7th Season’

    Riiiight

  16. Melissa Molinaro Belly Midriff Legs Minskirt Style Fashion Week LA 7th Season
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Low friction dress…I like it.

  17. Prince Charles Kissing Queen Elizabeth On Cheek Commonwealth Day Observance Service Westminster Abbey
    Private Bendjammin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your banger-fingers preclude me from giving a proper masonic handshake, you ruddy-faced twit. Blimey!”

  18. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Huge Ass Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck yes. Her body is perfect.

  19. Nicolas Cage Bead Necklace Rosario Dawson Joe Premiere SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    I love Rosario Dawson.

  20. Rihanna Butt Tight Jeans Backless Shirt Cirque Le Soir Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she just barely eluded Chris Brown’s grasp this time. Her shirt wasn’t so lucky.

  21. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    How much did he pay to get Lou Ferrigno’s Hulk wig?

  22. Nia Long Cleavage Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Nia is beautiful. Single motherhood is a plague.

  23. Maitland Ward Cleavage Style Fashion Week LA 7th Season
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s very pretty. I loves her grey eyes.

  24. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Huge Ass Bikini Instagram
    gumbypokey
    Commented on this photo:

    I applaud her for ditching all the ridiculous glam-garbage outfitting and makeup. Let’s hope she keeps it that way. I think she’s attractive. Would be even better without the giant fake ass.

  25. Rachel Ray Derpface Double Chin Live Q&A with Rachael Ray Philadelphia Flower Show
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    Never go full Jabba.

  26. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Josh Groban Awkward Portrait Pose UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle Present A Starry Evening Of Music Comedy Surprises
    Commented on this photo:

    Kathy actually looks decent here. Keep that make-up artist on your payroll, Kathy.

  27. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    McSquinty stopped squinting, wtf am I going to call her now? I guess it’s the old, Bitchy McBitchface.

  28. Nicolas Cage Bead Necklace Rosario Dawson Joe Premiere SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Rosario, if I start to sweat, I’m screwed. This is one of those rinse out dye jobs.

  29. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Josh Groban Awkward Portrait Pose UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle Present A Starry Evening Of Music Comedy Surprises
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    …love her.

  30. Rihanna Butt Tight Jeans Backless Shirt Cirque Le Soir Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Stupid shirt on a stupid woman.

  31. Pete Doherty
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, he’s still alive! Good for him.

  32. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Huge Ass Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    meh

  33. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Huge Ass Bikini Instagram
    wow
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he pooping? I mean, she… Surely it’s a big plastic poop for that big plastic ass.

  34. Rihanna Butt Tight Jeans Backless Shirt Cirque Le Soir Club
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ha ha, but seriously, it will be $50 for a half and half”

  35. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone needs to tell her she is not cute enough or young enough to pull off whatever she is trying to pull off there anymore.

  36. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Josh Groban Awkward Portrait Pose UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle Present A Starry Evening Of Music Comedy Surprises
    Commented on this photo:

    Love him, but he looks secretly mortified.

  37. Hugh Jackman Hand On Mans Shoulders
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice bag of shit hanging on his hip scooter.

  38. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Commented on this photo:

    Never with her damn love child.

  39. Maxwell Taking Picture Of Woman In Bikini
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Maxwell who?

  40. Rachel Ray Derpface Double Chin Live Q&A with Rachael Ray Philadelphia Flower Show
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    50 pounds lighter and she’d be hot.

  41. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    The problem here is the cameraman needs to be about 50 feet further away.

  42. Prince Charles Kissing Queen Elizabeth On Cheek Commonwealth Day Observance Service Westminster Abbey
    ThrewUpInMyMouth
    Commented on this photo:

    “I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!”

  43. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Gender reassignment progressing nicely…

  44. Pete Doherty
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Dem teefs.

  45. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    Just no pleasing some people.

    She isn’t even happy after the Muppets called.

    Apparently “Drug Muppet” who hangs out with Janice and Animal wasn’t a big enough part.

  46. Ali Larter Cleavage Bony Chest See Through Top
    angerinside
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look someone got their old lady tits early.

  47. Nicolas Cage Bead Necklace Rosario Dawson Joe Premiere SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “Never tell me to stop drinking…”

  48. Sean Penn Hiding Behind Large Package LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wait…Let me fix my hair!”

  49. Alec Baldwin Barbara Walters Guild Hall Of East Hampton Academy Of Arts Lifetime Achievement Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “You really need to stop ‘The View’.”

  50. Hugh Jackman Hand On Mans Shoulders
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sorry mate, I’m not gay.”
    *Rides away with his lap dog on his razor scooter listening to ‘It’s Raining Men’ on his ipod.*

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